Relationship help

My current boyfriend and I are having a wonderful relationship so far. We haven't done much besides pecks and romantic kisses, but we've never frenched or anything.

Two boyfriends ago I was sexually abused pretty bad. I would tell him I didn't want to do something and the next day I'd find myself doing it. (ex. told him I didn't want to give him a handjob, the next day he unzips his pants, pulls his boxers down, grabs my hand and puts it on his d*ck and makes me give him a handjob).

The thing is, I'm scared ever since to date guys. My dad used to sexually abuse my dad in high school, they got divorced when I was little, and she knows, but it's still really hard for me. The only things we didn't do was sex and I didn't give him a blowjob, the two times he respected me (I'm against oral on guys and I'm waiting to have sex when I'm 16). He would ways want to have phone sex, so I'd fake org**m and not touch myself when he'd make me do that.

The problem is, I'm scared to be in a relationship now. I love the relationship I'm in and it makes me feel good and my boyfriend knows about me being sexual abused and totally respects it and he makes me feel so good about myself. But I'm scared to get sexually abused again, even though in my heart I know he would never ever! I don't know what to do. We've talked about it before and he gets it and always listens to me whenever I think about it and stuff. And he helps me so much!

I'm scared of guys in general now, but I find myself being really clingy to my limited number of girl friends because I'm just so scared of getting hurt. Is there anyway I can recover from being sexually abused?

Please do not post saying sh*t like "go to a councilor" because I have one and I talk to her about it a lot, but the kid who sexually abused me is one of her clients too, so it's hard for her to help me sometimes. My mum and step dad do know and try to help me a lot. I have not confronted the id who sexually abused me because frankly, I can't even stand to look at him or hear his voice. DO NOT tell me that 'I'm too young for this' and stuff because believe me, I F***ING KNOW! I was sexually abused and forced to do stuff and had stuff done to me. My parents don't want to take this to court because his mum is a pain in the a** to deal with and doesn't understand things well because english is a second language to her and she does not get a lot of things, I'm not trying to be racist, it's just the truth. Seen Joy Luck Club? She's like that times 20.

Please, only serious responses. Thank you!

If you and your boyfriend have a really strong bond, I would be honest with him and tell him that you've had horrible experiences in the past. Open up your heart and tell him that you're scared and you would like to take things slow until you're comfortable with him. Any loving boyfriend would be understandable about this because it is indeed a serious matter.
I would also maybe consider switching counselors because you need someone to help you and concentrate on you 100 %. I think if would also put your mind at ease that they do not have the same client that caused these experiences that have happened in the past. I wish you luck.

I think you overreact the situation. You are only 14. An accident happened to you when you got into intimate situation with a more matured & aggressive boy. But if you could avoid the company of the more mature & aggressive boys, then you can live the normal life of the normal 14 yo girls: that means romantic kisses and gentle gropings, not much. When you get older, say 16 or more, you will be able to handle the situation when a boy opens his trousers. Till that time, please, be careful who you get intimate with. As you described your present b/f he seems to be perfect to mature together & parallel to making more and more sexual activities. As it is normal. On a harmonious way. You should not loose your sexual interest, but never run farer with anybody than mature you are.

I am a guy if I was you I would have acted like I wanted 2 suck his peter and bit it and if hit you then punch him in the face. anyways I know it must be hard but try not to think about it. that could possibly be the thing that fudges up your current relationship being a guy I know we get sex crazy trust me im17 and me and my girlfriend have a baby on the way if the guy loves you he'll wait my gfs problem is she dont trust me because her ex cheated I know how you must feel