Ready for commitment or not?

I am seventeen turning eighteen soon and my best friend is twenty-two. We've known each other since I was twelve and he was sixteen. He always thought of me as the little sister and he treated me the same. I dated a guy for three from 2004 to the earlier part of this year, 2008. Unfortunately, the guy of three years + abused me and he disrespected me in every way. Well, I began dating him at the age of fourteen and we had a lot of issues throughout our relationship. My best friend, he and I weren't close until one day, we started talking on AIM more because he was over in Iraq and he didn't have many people to talk too. So, he would often ask about my boyfriend of three years and how we were doing. Soon enough, we went from being casual friends to being best friends. Time moved on and my relationship was falling apart. My best friend was stationed in Mexico after he came back from Iraq. One night, the guy of three years threw me around and smacked me around. I called my best friend and he said, "I will leave here and come get you if you want." I told him no, it was fine. Then, my boyfriend pressured me to ask my best friend if he loved me and we found out he did. He had me play a game with him to get information out of him. I was suppose to "act" like I loved him too. Yet, I did love him too. It's been almost a year since the night my best friend admitted to loving me. I know, I know, I need to get to my point. Well, we have been going back and forth with this commitment issue recently. Since March when the guy of three years and I called it quits; it's been an on-going discussion. My best friend and I have been contemplating dating one another. Except, he lied to me about a girl he was dating for three months but I wasn't offended by it. Why? Because I am over-emotional and very sensitive. I understand why he kept her from me. Anyways, we got into a fight back into June because I was upset over a lot of things and he was tired of me calling him a liar. Very recently, we started to talk again and we went back to our old ways. My grandfather died last Tuesday and I told my best friend. He kept asking me to talk about it but since our falling out back in June, I've had trouble communicating my emotions to him. Well, my grandfather's viewing was on Friday. I wept with my brothers and so on. He texted me asking how I was feeling and I said "sad, you should come see me." Side note: he has been in maryland for the last two months taking classes; he's about to go to afghanistan. Back to the main part, he agreed and he asked where my hotel was and I got very excited and I was like FINALLY. My brother agreed to leave the hotel room to us for an hour or two. Well, he arrived. I opened the door and he grabbed me up and he hugged me tight. It felt wonderful. We had the awkward silence. We sat on the bed. Next thing I know, he is poking me and he threatens to push me off the bed. I, being a girl, screamed and he grabbed me back up and we fell back against the bed. I snuggled my head into his shoulder area and he kissed my forehead a bunch. It was pure bliss. I smelled his sweatshirt and it smelled like a bar. (he had just come from one) He and I were wrestling around and I ended up on top of him. He leaned up a little and I leaned down a little, we started to kiss. Our first kiss... it was soft. He kept kissing me. Then, he rolled me off and he rolled on top and he asked me "No, do you not want me to?" over and over again. We kept kissing... he started to kiss down my neck and I began to well, you know, become aroused. I moaned and he leaned up and said, "no, do you not want me to?" but I kissed him again. I rolled away and he was laying behind me.. .and he put his arms around me... and he started to kiss my neck and I screamed and he said, "no, do you not want me to?" and it was sooo nice. This went on for about forty five minutes until we were laying at the top of the bed and he was caressing my back. I looked into his eyes and said, "I love you" and he looked back at me with his serious face and said "I love you too." He picked me up off the bed and he began to kiss me with me wrapped around him. He fell back on to the other bed and he kept kissing me. Unfortunately, he had to go. It was getting late. He put me on the floor and leaned down and continued to kiss me. He grabbed my face and he said "I love you (insert name here)," haha. Up until the door, he and I kept kissing. As we opened the door, he continued to kiss me and said, "Hug me and kiss me?"... I hugged and I kissed him. Watching him leave broke my heart. Furthermore, I texted him and he acted differently. He acted as though it didn't happen. Like, it wasn't a big deal to him. I might be over-reacting and I am not sure. Anyways, he told me he was planning on coming to see me before he went home... and I don't know what to make of this. Am I just a friend with benefits or is he looking for more? I feel like I am becoming attached and it sucks. Do I need to make the suggestion of being together? Or, should I let it go?

the storys a little confusing but I think he's definitly looking for more but its hard for him after you've been best friends for so long. hold on tight & don't automatically think the worst, if he keeps acting like nothing happened then you should suspect something but if not don't let it worry you, it seems like you guys are off to a really good start, just because everything isn't perfect shouldn't throw you off.

I really dont think its anything more than a friendship leading to a friends w/benefits. He obviously knows how you feel about him, and it seems he played on those emotions, and the fact that he just came from a bar, would suggest that had a lot to do with his behavior towards you. Especially after you texted him, and he really didnt acknowledge what had gone on. I wouldnt go jumping around just yet. Wait & see if he keeps his word about coming to see you. I think he has been away for sometime, and just needs some lovin' before he leaves.

hmm guys are difficult! im kinda in the same situation this guy likes me and we make out and so on but he doesnt want a relstionship because he doesnt know how long he is going to be here for because he might be moving...so sad and he just moved back like 3 weeks ago maybe not even. I wish it were something more, its possible he wants you but he doesnt want you to be lonely why hes gone so thats why its just when he sees you...I get the same thing but I so badly want this guy to commit to me its like a love storey when were together at times but I feel like im heading to a sad ending...I don't know what to do either, I really like him he is everything I thought was to good to be true.