Read my poem,and tell me what you think?

The english language

Floating in the cold water melting

Your face getting hit by the beating sun

Eyes are closed and see a bright light flashing

Opened eyes see bird like creatures flying under the sun

Mutated shadows on the gravel...

beside you

Human faces on small feathered bodies

You get up and out in your soaked jeans and tangled hair

The devil dog with the white eye runs past

Almost knocking you back into the water

Your temples hurt so you rub them with your fingers of bad circulation

The rubbing doesn't help much, but at least you're trying

want a pain killer? the tree with one arm said.

You kept walking even though you knew the answer was there

I love it! God gave you a great talent.

Its ok.

excellent, one of those poems that you have to look at closely to see the full meaning. I like it!

sounds like your trying really hard to be deep and shocking and are coming up short. like the emo cook book... sorry to be rough on you.. but I know nothing of poetry, so I could be 100% wrong. it just never appealed to me.. well sorta.. it just seemed to easy..

they said beware the ides of march my friends
impending doom is around the bend
Dark thunderous clouds roll through the sky
an omen for the times to come by
I was nestled omnisciently upon a bed of grass
contemplating ideas from the past
will the truth set us free
or become those clouds of destiny
panic
pain
love
laugh
what options we choose become the past
nothing is ever meant to last
impending doom alas
alas

thats some stuff I just wrote in less than 10 min... lol dont go stealing it now ha!

the first half was good but the secound half could havebeen better
put your mind to it you can do it 1_~
Don't force it, let it flow out

I love it