Read my poem?

I didn’t feel alone in your arms,
And I didn’t feel ugly inside and out.
I felt like I was gradually picking up the pieces of myself,
And then you run away and stamp on what’s left.

You told me that you loved me,
And my heart skipped a beat.
You...

told me that you’d never leave my side,
And always be my best friend and more.

All those months you lied and led me a fool,
All those months I was living off false hope.
All those years I’d dream about you kissing me,
When it finally did I uncovered a lie that was hidden between your lips.

While you were holding me,
I felt like someone.
I felt like a person that mattered,
You’ve always been such a clumsy person,
As you go and drop me back into the hole I was in before.
Now, yet again,
I am no one.

I know it isnt very good.
But I always think that about my poems.
What you think??

Dang, I always write poetry, mainly free verse. But mines never that good.

I have one really personal one that I wrote when I was maybe 12, or barely 13... I don't remember. it's safe and hidden on my flash drive. Talking about a guy I wanted to scream the truth at for the longest time. Yours reminds me of mine.

There's some places where.. I dunno about them. I don't like how you said 'And I didn't feel ugly inside and out.' I think you should take that out altogether, or change it around, like no And (The dreaded word in writing...) or Inside and Out. Because I don't know that just sounds funny to me.. or maybe I felt that longing same-ness or something, (sorry I'm not really in poetry writing today..)

it's just that one line that makes me go 'ehh...' You're amazing. I want to hear more! So if you have some more... fun mail me!

--Liberty3--

From one poet to another:

I like it...I had to read it a second time to find the rythmic balance, but it is there
The words speak clearly enough and it's easy to understand

its good you have got talent girl