Pregnancy phobia

I am married for 3 years now . The problem whenever I bring the issue of children , my wife talks about her phobia for childbirth . This ultimately has led to almost no sex among us . I would appreciate if any one can share / advice me on this .

That's a sticky situation. I think this problem should have been discussed and finalized early in the marriage since some couples think that children will be inevitable soon. You should make a final discussion with your wife on it, and come to a suitable compromise. End the discussion after that.

Here are some questions you should think about:

Are you adamant on having children?
Do you think that you can be happy without any?
Is your marriage dependent on whether you have children with your wife or not?
Does your wife want children despite her phobia?
Has she considered an elective C-section instead of natural childbirth? Or an epidural?
What are both your thoughts on adopting instead?

I can't blame your wife though, childbirth is both a scary and fascinating experience to go through, but mostly scary. I've not been through it, but many mothers on here can attest to it. Your wife's fears are normal, but most of the time women are scared because they don't know what is going to happen or what can happen. The best solution I can offer you is that your wife take prenatal classes, read every book on pregnancy and childbirth (and C-sections), and every other info she can get her hands on. The more mentally prepared she is, the less chances of surprises that can make her lose control of her body.

But really, many couples are happy without children. I can understand that you want children for whatever reasons, so it's really best to make compromises with your wife. Tell her you'll support her all the way, do most of the chores, be patient when she gets tired and cranky, still love her and think she's beautiful when she doesn't feel like dressing decently while getting larger during pregnancy, give her back and foot massages, and go to prenatal classes with her, etc, and of course just as much effort must be put in AFTER the baby arrives, and you'll have to accept that you probably won't have much time to yourself anymore, let alone have time to have sex or a wife who wants to have sex anymore from feeling 'unsexy' after giving birth.

If you think that you aren't getting any sex now because you're just talking about a baby, think of when the baby actually arrives.

mysterywolf is rite !! its been explained pretty well above !!

she must have heard many scary version of child birth and might have witnessed wrong happenning during the delivery hence this phobia has developed I appreciate that you r of understanding nature and have been supporting her.

Well here you need to be sure on this mentioned above, the usual problem with guys are like they get edgy and start to lose their cool and once she is into this and if you get nasty with her by any mean she wud collapse and there wont be any recovery for her !!

it all depends on the how good understanding you have between urselves because the fear and the fear can only be taken away by her confidence on u !!

dont talk to her abt this all the time just check her mood and then may be you can start this conversation and find out what she feels abt this !!

Ok.. well for the sake of you.. she should rethink this whole phobia.. talk to her, sit her down and tell her what you want your future plans to consist of.. you would be suprised what a couple of words may do.. good luck..
xx.
superfresh.