Postpartum depression?

Is it possible to suffer from postpartum depression STARTING 9 months after you have your baby? I've gone through a lot- my verbally and emotionally abusive ex-husband kicked me out when I was 8 months pregnant for no other reason than he decided he...

didn't love me and was done. I've since been raising my baby with the help of my parents. We're going through a custody battle because my stupid ex (who has made no effort, only demands) wants (in his terminology) 50/50 custody. I'm of the mindset that an infant needs to be with his mother. My son is healthy, happy, content, well fed, well groomed, well adjusted- the perfect baby- and his father keeps wanting to take more and more. He already has him Monday through Friday 8 am to 12 pm- and in Jan he gets him for one overnight and loses two 'day visits'. I'm losing my baby to a man who is volatile, immature, callous, and doesn't treat him like he loves him. Because my little one isn't being physically abused, I have no recourse for action. It's breaking my heart. My son doesn't get naps when he's over there, he's not fed properly, and he's ignored- so he comes home starving, but falling asleep tired, and he's heart-wrenchingly clingy. There is nothing I can do for my baby. And I am so depressed. This man has literally shattered every dream of a happy family I have ever had. And he's ruining my son's life. It's all a bit too much to bear alone, and I am finding myself further and further depressed. Is this typical of postpartum depression? Or is it maybe just regular depression? I love my baby with all of my heart and soul- I want to be the best I can be for him. I'm a good mother, I know it- he loves me to death too, so I feel SO guilty for being depressed a lot of the time. I hide it from him easily (he's a baby after all), but I don't want to keep feeling helpless and hopeless. I have an appointment Monday with my doctor. Does this sound like something they'd be able to help me with? Or am I just going to have to get through this on my own?

I would call this regular depression - it's being caused by the circumstances surrounding you. The doctor can probably help you with this with medication, but if at all possible, it would be best if you could find a coping mechanism of your own to get you through. The last thing you want is to give your ex any ammunition, and if goes to court and tells the judge that you're depressed, it could hurt your case.

Do you have a lawyer?

If not, I suggest you get one. From the sounds of things, your son is not being properly cared for by his father and a lawyer can make that information available to the judge.

Thanks ichibanarky,
I'd rather get into therapy- but my insurance won't cover therapy without a doctor's recommendation, so I'm hoping she'll write one for me (I'm sure she will), I don't want medication if I can help it. I'd rather solve the problem than numb the pain.
You're right about the ammunition thing- it's very scary to hurt so much inside and not be able to do a darn thing about it for fear you'll be labeled 'unstable' and have your baby taken away... It's a reason why I haven't gotten help before now.
I do have a lawyer, and he's not very good. Unfortunately, I simply am tapped out- I can't afford to change at this stage in the game. I've been presenting more 'evidence', finding more case law, doing more work, and more negotiation than he has by a lot. It's frustrating, but he does expedite paperwork and produces documents better than I could on my own. I'm going to be firmer with my lawyer- this baby has one voice speaking on his behalf- what good is it to him if I don't use it?
If I don't tell anybody that I'm seeing a therapist or whatever, do you think they'll be able to find out? Do you think they could do some sort of check on my records (I'd even pay in cash...) and find out I'm in therapy?

There's really no way for him to find out unless someone tells him.

If he accesses your records, that's an invasion of privacy, and not only would it lose him the case, it would get him charged.

Do what you need to do - you have a long road ahead and there's going to be an awful lot of bumps until it's over. I wish you all the best with this, and I know that in the end, the right decision will be made.

Thank you for that- Honestly? I even feel better NOW that I've planned my next step. Too bad I'm not rich enough to flee to some strange country with my little guy though.