Poems

Ok Im not big on sharing my work but I was just wondering if you like it so here it is...
The first is called

"Rendered Disaster"
It spoke lies and rendered disaster
Your Heart
What I thought spoke true love
The windows refuse the light to shine through
My mind lost in the reflections of the past
sitting in the heart of distrust
Regretting the lose of hate
You did this, you did this to me
Never again will I breathe the same air as love
Dont pretend that it never happened
I have this scar for proof
Do you see
You were everything
In the end you were my knife
Made me bleed
Made me see
Made me who I am now
So I must Thank you

And this one is called
"Fall"
Am I to soon fall?
You stand so tall.
Im surrounded by all these walls.
Standing next to them, I feel so small

I wish you to be here.
Though your not, you feel so near.
You wiped away the tears,
Then before, my eyes you disappeared.

Nothing seems to be fair.
I was not prepared.
Now my heart needs to be repaired.
Are you not aware?

These are not my best but They are the only ones that I have on the computer at the moment...so tell me what you think

Dont be affraid of insulting my work it wont bother me because I know their not that good anyways
THANKS!!!

I know nothing about poetry but I really liked them, you have a gift

I dont know abougjt gifts but you could definently use some therepy
''wink wink' nice job

Hey, Girl... Don't say they're not good because...

Those are very good!! I recently went through something like that, it was really hard... I also write and I wrote a little poetry about my experience too, of course my journal's upstairs in my room and I'm too lazy to go and get it lolz otherwise I would... Besides I just started writing my free verses about a month ago so they're not as fantastic as yours.

The only problem was that 'Rendered Disaster' seemed to end on a bad spot, it kind of ended quickly, and out of nowhere, so you might want to add more to give it a better ending...

When you fix that problem, Fun Mail Me, or send me a comment, and we can share more poetry if you want, or at least send me the final copy!!!

Keep writing! You havew amazing talent!

---*LiBeRtY*---

That was great. You put many detail into your writing. And it seems there's a story behind it, and your experiences loop through giving them a great relation to others with the same problems. You have a gift, don't waste it.

I especially like the second one - I thnk it has more rhythm and its easier to read than the first, theyre both good though.
Tell me what you think of mine on 'my questions' the ones about poetry, Id like another poet to give an opinion!