Welcome!


FunAdvice is a social question & answer site where you can make friends, share photos and meet people near you.

Categories

FunAdvice RSS for this page:
Rss_feed

Poem advice

new 3 Asked by stephanief987 5 months ago, 24 answers.
Send me Fun Mail

I was wondering what you guys think of this poem, I write a lot but I end up trashing most of it because I'm never satisfied. Some feedback would be perfect, be honest please

*Not-So-Beautiful Liar*
The days fly by, turn into years
and still, you lie into my ears
Deny it again and again
Its the way it all began

I was so innocent and pure
now my heart needs a cure
So much hurt, so much pain
the pieces will never fit the same

Say you love me, tell me you care
brush your fingertips, through my hair
Kiss my lips, hold me tight
say everything, that sounds just right

In an instant it all goes down
you decide to mess around
Why me? Why me? I cry
your just that kind of guy

My smile turned into a frown
my whole world, upside down
Never again will I play this game
never again will I feel the same

Send this to a friend

Answered by darthornx on Jun 09, 2008, 07:11PM
Send me Fun Mail | 284 answers.

wow..I love that poem...be VERY proud. hmm but the ears part is kind of weird :P no offense

Answered by andres35 on Jun 09, 2008, 07:18PM
Send me Fun Mail

hell yah thats a nice poem I loved it

Answered by nicksgurl on Jun 09, 2008, 07:21PM
Send me Fun Mail | 281 answers.

I think its great for everyone that has been in a bad relationship who has ben in love I love it...good job

Rogaine Accident. Answered by nerd on Jun 09, 2008, 07:21PM
Send me Fun Mail | 847 answers.

Good word choice. The rhythm is slightly off.

Cute, huh? Answered by lovestruck7233 on Jun 09, 2008, 07:24PM
Send me Fun Mail | 1076 answers.

very pretty, I like it a lot

me :) Answered by loulou11 on Jun 09, 2008, 07:47PM
Send me Fun Mail | 1081 answers.
Advisor-small

wow I love it. I can feel the emotions in it.
there is no reason to trash it. you are very
talented.

Answered by hottbabe_94 on Jun 23, 2008, 07:29PM
Send me Fun Mail | 8 answers.

I love it is really good. I have a poem it's called My Sorry well my bro made it up

Answered by alyak13 on Jul 01, 2008, 12:24PM
Send me Fun Mail | 61 answers.

You really have a way with your words!!

kitty Answered by ty on Jul 02, 2008, 08:23PM
Send me Fun Mail | 6615 answers.
Advisor-small

Answered by fau on Jul 20, 2008, 05:38PM
Send me Fun Mail | 3954 answers.

this is pretty! I really like the last line (or stanza ir what ever) :P cuuute =)

emo luv Answered by xxmandie14xx on Jul 29, 2008, 03:54PM
Send me Fun Mail | 10 answers.

dis poem is sooo awsem!!!
your a great poet!!!

true love Answered by lilmizzskippy on Jul 29, 2008, 11:01PM
Send me Fun Mail | 90 answers.

NICE POEM I LUV IT!!! ♥

just a drawing Answered by xxxemoxxxlifexxx on Jul 30, 2008, 02:04PM
Send me Fun Mail | 498 answers.

wow thats really good
two thumbs up from me

lol Answered by sujan on Aug 01, 2008, 01:05AM
Send me Fun Mail | 45 answers.

woww really nice!!!awesome!!I just luv this poem..I read your another poem too..u are a great poet and I mean this!!!be happy and feel proud of urself because you are great!

Answered by nai519 on Aug 05, 2008, 10:58PM
Send me Fun Mail | 7 answers.

wow...really deep. you shoud post that at poems-and-quotes.com

Moi! Answered by misspumpkinpirate on Aug 14, 2008, 03:12AM
Send me Fun Mail | 68 answers.

Thats Good.

ARMENIA Answered by armenia_guy on Aug 26, 2008, 12:57AM
Send me Fun Mail | 1314 answers.

Pretty good!

I LOVE Claire Danes!!! Answered by lily780 on Sep 02, 2008, 04:44PM
Send me Fun Mail | 218 answers.

I love it! DON'T TRASH IT!!! I have the smae feelings for my poetry and my friends worship my poetry but I always feel like there is nothing in my poems that really say anything. YOUR POETRY on the other hand tells me something and it kind of whispers to me and really is wonderful. Okay, that might sound stupid but it does! Keep Writing!!!

Answered by fau on Sep 03, 2008, 08:27PM
Send me Fun Mail | 3954 answers.

Great Poem Steph, you are very talented, Loved it xx

me on my darling pony Answered by minalae on Sep 17, 2008, 01:18AM
Send me Fun Mail | 158 answers.

the first comment on this page says the ears part is weird, but I like it. to tell to truth I like the other better, but they both seem to go right through me and say something that is hard to grasp!!! love that kinda stuff!!! write more and put them on this site!!! that would e awesome!!! love it! xox

Back to top

Popular questions related to Poem advice