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Ohsocrazy,
While some of the technical aspects, such as the cadence, of the piece are slightly lacking, its ability to induce a specific emotion in a reader is extremely promising. You expressed yourself very well in the poem without making the common mistake of being too obvious. All in all a job very well done. I definitely enjoy reading it.
If you, or anyone who reads this, really likes poetry and writing, you may want to consider registering for a free account at http://www.writing.com. There you can post your various pieces for a community of like minded individuals to read and comment on.
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Poem about my dad.
 




Poem about my dad.
I hate that you fvcked up
And blamed it all on me
Of how I didn’t call you,
You never once called me.
I hate that you’re a liar,
I believed every word
You may have said your sorry
But never have I heard.
I hate that I looked up to you
And...
thought you lead the way
Cause little did I know
I had a price to pay.
I hate how I forgave,
The fact that you did wrong
Only cause I knew
It wouldn’t last for long.
I hate how I cant sleep
Until my tears run dry
And how I have no father
To hold me as I cry.
I hate the weight I carry
Of you, who put me down
Assuming id be fine
Not knowing that i’d drown.
I hate how living life
Gets harder every day
And still you sit there silent
Without a word to say.
I hate how you could think
That maybe id forget
The pain aching inside
Is beating through my chest.
I hate how you cant say
You’ve placed the world above me
And how you can’t admit
That you no longer love me.
I told myself before, I'd never hate you.
I'm telling you now, I changed my mind.