Please help!! i miss my ex fiance

Ok, I really need some advice here. I have been with my Fiancè (now ex) for over 5 years, (I am 22 and he is 29) and lived with him for over half that time. We were supposed to get married in a matter of weeks until he shocked me and my family by...

calling off the wedding over the Holidays. Needless to say I had a horrible Christmas. Well things had been very strained in those few weeks after Christmas (cancelling all wedding plans and everything that went along with it) and we went from postponing the wedding to cancelling it to him suggesting me moving out. He says he isn't sure we're good for each other anymore, but insists he is still in love with me. I have only been gone for a few days but he's already calling me several times a day to chat and tells me he misses me. He says he just doesn't think our relationship is right right now. All of this has me so confused and I am not certain what I should do. I love him more than anything and after such a long relationship I was, and still am, ready to marry him. Should I wait and see if he comes around or give up on this relationship I have invested so much in, we have built a home and a life together and it seems as if he is confused about many things in his life. He tells me he hopes we can work things out, but I don't know what to believe anymore.

Please Help!

it sounds like he dealing with something right now. if this is the case then you may just have to let him figure it all out before yall will be ready to move bak in together or get married im sure he was just afraid and needs time to get everthing back in perpective. hope everthing works out just hang in there.

Notjustanotherguy is right when he says that your boy has an issue or two plaguing him. Perhaps it's apprehension at the thought of marriage or some problem in your relationship that you may or may not be aware of. Whatever the issue the best advice I can offer is either sit down and talk things out or try couples counseling. Good luck, kiddo.

It sounds like fear of commitment to me. How has it turned out so far? I REALLY love to see people happily married, not everyone is so lucky, and it'd be sooo sad if you got so close, only to have it suddenly snatched away.

Hey I just joined the web site and came across your question earlier this year. Don’t give up on him. What ever he did I’m sure it can be corrected in time. You really give me the impression that you love this guy to much. Let him sort out his life and you will se everything will turnout for the best.

Ian

I read what you say-----but what is the problem he is talking about. You have been with him 5 years plus,you know this man. It could be fear of commitment. Does he come from a broken home--(Is his parents still married )? Have you both been faithful to one another? Could there be another women? Why did he ask you to move out?
Good Luck
G

I am currently going through a simular situation. I can empathize with the pain and confusion you are dealing with. There are several things that you have to make a tuff decision about. Think about: If he is willing to work on your relationship and the reasons why the relationship is not 'right' right now (if so couples counseling); If he is not ready to go into marriage then you must decied if you are willing to put your life on hold and wait until it is the right time (if so then brace yourself with patients, if not then refocus your life and decide what you want in life as an indvidual. I am finding that this is the biggest help. Its gonna be a very hard thing to seperate yourself from someone you have been so intangled with and love deeply. The most important thing is that you TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Know that whatever the outcome this to shall pass. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Here are some internet articles that helped me. http://ww.askmen.com/dating/heidi/33_dating_girl.html http://healmybrokenheart.com/ HOPE THESE ARE HELPFUL. GOD BLESS!!

relationships can be confusing. I miss my ex-fiance as well. It sounds like you ex isn't sure what he wants. He has not made a decision to commit to you completely or to end the relationship and just be friends or to cut contact completely.

He is working through his process and may take some time for him to decide what he wants. He has to figure out what that is so he can make a decision.

I'll share my story with you and help you can take from it something that may be helpful to you.

I don't see myself being together with my ex again as she has finally figured out what she wants. At the beginning of our relationship she had said that she didn't picture herself getting married or having children. But started to be open to the idea. This should have been a red flag but I chose to ignore this. When she told me that she didn't see herself getting married or having children because she didn't want to f**k then up as her divorced parents has f**ked up hers. I tried futily to convince her that she would be a great mother and wife. She never committed oompletely and retrospectively neither did I. Ever since she told me that she got me now, your mine now and that I don't want to have children or get married I always had doubts about her committ and so I never committed to her completely. This was also a red flag that she saw me as a conquest and so she didn't have to do the things that were necessary to connect on a deeper level that is important for a long term committed relationship.

Where as I saw myself getting married, buying a home, owning a business, living debt free, having children, vacation and so forth. All she could visualize was her past and how her family always treated her like a child, how people are not to be trusted. In essence a half empty glass perspective on life.

NOw as I struggle at times to move on from a very unhealthy relationship dynamic, I try to learn from all the mistakes I have made and all the great positive things that happened in our relationship.

All you can do is to take care of yourself. Let him go through his process but if he can not make up his mind, it is in your best interest to move on and state that you only want to be friends or to cut contact with him completely.

I hope that my story can help you to find the answers you seek in your time of heartache.

It seems like it has been awhile since your engagament was broekn off. I'm in a VERY similar situation right now, and I'm just wondering how things turned out for you...