One crazy affair..

I am having an affair with a married man, I am 21 and he is 31, there is a part of me that wants to stop but theres another part of me that dosen't want to. this started about 9 months ago. I was going out to dinner with my cousin and my friend. His neighbor and his wife happened to be there that night as well.. We all sat together. (mind you where I am from is a very small town, where everyone knows your name, and that was prooved that night.) So there I was hanging out with my friend, my cousin, my future affair and his wife. (already akward huh?) I was immediently attracted to him. Mainly due to his crude, as*h*le behavior. He was drunk and being loud and funny, he had just gotten back from his brothers wedding. I kept this attraction a secret from everyone. (considering I was sharing a plate of fries and salad with his wife)I found out that he is good friends with my dad and went to high school with my aunt and uncle. (adding a bit more wierdness to all of this) well the night ended and I didnt see him for about 3 weeks. I was at my cousin's house and he came over and we talked for hours and ultimatley ended up having crazy sex in my cousins bed. (which he was pissed about for a long time. My cousin that is) and that was the start of it. these late night "appointments" went on for about a month before I started having pangs of guilt. His wife is really nice and pretty, and funny. Why would he cheat on her? well I left to work at a summer camp and hoped that this would help prompt an end to this affair. Well I found myself comming home on my days off and as you can tell this had not ended. Things are getting kind of risky to. My family is geting kind of suspicious that something is going on. which if they did find out I really wouldn't be to shook up about it because a few of my relatives have been in the same boat as me a time or two. but I know that if they find out then my dad would find out and I dont know what he would do.. probably go hunting (if you know what mean) lol. My "friend" is beginning to run out of excuses to come over to my cousins house also.After fishing poles and lawn mowers what else could he borrow.. I feel like I am at a crossroad, the moral me says STOP but the lust filled part of me wants this to go on as long as it can. I don't know why I am so hooked on him also.. As well as being a crude, beligerant redneck, he has a beer gut, he chews, smells like BO, wears torn boxers and hula shirts and insists on wearing sandals that are 5 inches to big. But on the other hand, hes really nice, and cute, he is rediculously funny, and has the muscleiest arms I have ever felt! I don't know!! just found out the other day that he is moving to florida so this may be my saving grace... but I have one more akward thing to mix in.. if he is moving to florida my cousin will be moving in to his house and guess who will be his roomate... hehehe you guessed it.. ME
Haha so as you can see this is a complicated mater. I have never spoken about this to anyone other than my best friend who herself is having an affair with her 44 year old tattoo artist so we have similar circumstances, but it is always good to have other opinions. thanks for taking time to read this.. it came out longer in print than it did being played out in my head..

the reason that he is cheating is because you are doing something that his wife does not.. a man does not cheat unless he has a want that his wife cannot or willnot fullfill...or should I say "most men"