I cheated

okay so I will start from the beginning this will be long, BUT I NEED HELP!.
So I have this boyfriend, he is great he loves me he buys me things, he is just so great to me. everything was good. but about 2 weeks ago I went out and was doing drugs again I relapsed and for about 3 days I really didnt hang out with him because he did not like me doing that. but one of those nights I got really drunk and I needed a ride home, so my friend called my boyfriend but he would not pick me up. so I called my ex and he came and picked me up and he took me back to his house because he knew my parents would not want to see me like that. me and him dated for 3 years then he cheated on me and I never forgave him, but we friends now. but I stayed over that night and he apologized to me for everything he did to me, and he knows im still in love with him so he said I love you and I ended up sleeping with him.
I told my friend and she said I HAD to tell my boyfriend. so I told him and he got soo mad. he asked me why and I really had no excuse so he got mad, and we really didnt talk for a week but then he came over one night and I said sorry and he would barely talk to me, it was so sad. he has been drinking a lot and I called him and asked him what his problem was and he said it was me. he has made me so sad, and I miss him like crazy. I dont know what I have to do to get him to forgive me. I have sttopped talking to my ex so my boyfriend will take me back and you dont know how hard it is to stopp talking to my ex (best friend). but how do I make it up to my boyfriend I just want him back and I want stuff to go back to normal.
its just that I have commitment problems and when things are going really great, I seem to like to go screw things up. and its like im in a different world I dont realize its reality till like the next day but I told my boyfriend it made me realize how much I love him and I need him back, and what do I do to get him to forgive me.???

I'm sorry that you're in such a tough situation right now, however, this is really out of your control. You apologized, and even though you regret what you did, if your boyfriend won't take you back, there is nothing you can do.

You made a mistake, and it's up to him whether or not he wants to forgive you. Think of how hard it would be for you if he cheated on you with someone else. So, try talking to him, apologizing again, but once someone cheats, it's extremely difficult to be able to trust that person again.

Good luck

kay thankz,
he keeps asking me how he can trust me again now
I told him he could trust me but he keeps saying how can he believe that.
so now what??

you have to prove yourself again. Give him a little space, but still don't talk to your ex, and don't fool around with any other guys. Then tell him again how sorry you are, and how much you miss him, and ask him to give you one last chance so you can prove yourself and show him that you can be worthy of his love and trust.

thanks.