I just got done writing this

This isn't the best, but I just finsihed it, if you have any ideas how to make it better tell me, kk

Jigsaw puzzle
By: tela

You said you’d walk a thousand miles—
Just to see my smiling face
I knew it was a lie
And I knew it never would take place

You lied about liking me
You lied about it all
I thought you were there to help me succeed
But you were only here to watch me fall

So let me show you to the door
Cause your not welcome here anymore
My hearts in species like a jigsaw puzzle
Thanks to you my life’s a mess

You meant the world to me
It won’t that hard to see
All these wall are breaking down
And shattering all around’

So let me show you to the door
Cause your not welcome here anymore
My hearts in species like a jigsaw puzzle
Thanks to you my life’s a mess

You heart me
And you can’t take that back
You broke my heart
And that’s a fact

It seems kind of clique. Try to reach deeper and write what really comes to you; don't worry about the rhyming scheme, cause it seems like you're too focused on that.

:] it's not bad though, keep working on it!

blahblah, I think you mean cliche', not clique, but I do agree, try more imagery, and try making the syllables match up for each rhyming line. The message is also almost TOO obvious. Some people write with that style, making the message up front and clear. But when you write, you need to write it like a poem, it needs to be deep, it has to mean something. Not saying that this song doesnt. This is constructive criticism, and I think you have a lot of potential, so keep writing, dont EVER stop, no matter what anyone tells u.

^ hahaha oops, yes cliche'. Remind me not to talk on the phone and type at the same time, cause that never seems to work out :T.

yeh I agree it started of rhyming then sort of went of on another direction. it sounded a bit like some songs you had maybe stuck in your head when you wrote it like just bits of songs. I would if iwere you try to find a really quiet place and put some soft music on and let your mind just go. then when your really relaxed put pen to paper. it always worked for me when I was writing songs xxx
otherwise you got a good start there.