New moon poem?

I wrote these poems based on one scene of New Moon.What do you think?Do they tell the story right,and do they sound okay?

Bella Swan:
Your words contradict all the things that you claimed
Every beautiful lie,I believed what you said
What I don't...

understand is the pain in your eyes
Like your words,killing me,send you to your demise
But I do understand all the reasons you leave
You have always been to good to belong to me
I watch as you leave,glorious destroyer
And the pain in my heart pulls me into the fire
And I wonder if I will survive without you
As I follow you swiftly and I think it through
LIfe won't be possible,life can't go on
Because without you here my purpose is gone
I surrender and fall to this dark forest floor
My tears and the rain from the sky start to pour
Then a voice from the shadows calls out my name
Someone to save me from this hurt and this pain
But the voice isn't yours so the pain must go on
As I cry and I suffer,he carries me home.

Edward Cullen:
Leaving the dearest,the sweetest.behind
I can't but I must keep your safety in mind
You are in danger every second I'm near
And one day I may slip and hurt you,I fear
So as I walk away with the greatest regret
I feel the first pains of sorrow I'll get
And the hurt in your eyes is so hard to ignore
And with every word,Iknow I hurt you some more
But my pain I'll ignore if it saves you from me
My future goes no further than to suffer,and to flee
And flee I must because I fear if I don't do it now
The sounds of your crying will turn me around
So as I run away from the one that I love
I hope that the pain that burns me,you'll be free of
Goodbye and I love you,precious,perfect girl
Stay safe and move on and don't change,you're my world.

How were they?I like Bella's better,personally.What do you think?Please be honest.

I thought they were both pretty good! :L
It still needs a bit more molding as it's a quite rough, but keep at it.
personally, the last bit in Bella's poem

My tears and the rain from the sky start to pour
Then a voice from the shadows calls out my name
Someone to save me from this hurt and this pain
But the voice isn't yours so the pain must go on
As I cry and I suffer,he carries me home.

That tells the story just right; however, I'm not sure about these two lines.

Your words contradict all the things that you claimed
and
But I do understand all the reasons you leave

I thought that because 4 th 1st line you said{your words...}becaues hes telling her he doesnt really luv her anymor and so its going against all he said before
and the 2nd line was because when he saidyou're not good 4 me(in the book)she said that she knew that she was nvr good enuff 4 him and she undrstood that he would want more.