What do you think of my poem?

I never thought I'd do this type of thing, but oh well, here it is. Tell me what you think, and please, be honest, and be detailed. It's called Soggy Bread.

there's a cold on my skin and it's
I..
it's sort of slimy, I think
a cold
a wet kind of...

cold
permeating
me turning me into soggy bread
break apart slowlike

there's a cold in my throat
it's this kind of salty
gritty cold
I can't fight against
the slime was almost soothing--oh well

soggybreadbreakapart
sticks to your hands
don't let it get in your hair
or you'll decompose
too.

honestly it doesn't really make sence to me . i write poetry and i guess i know wat im talking about.

I write poetry, too, heh. What sort do you write?

emo depression sad death that sorta stuff

i don't exactly understand it...
but i am not a poet...
but i usually understand poems...

your's just lost me.

same here lol no offence it just doesn't make that much sence

why is no1 being blunt? ITS SH*T.

f*ck off dont b so mean if u can't make helpfull observations DONT BOTHER ANSWERING whats ur problem?!?!?!

O_o I thought it was pretty good! I liked the feel it gave, like soggy being soothing, it's not something you hear every day. Very artistic and new! good job!

Well, thank you to everyone, except Torimate. I don't mind if you think it's a bad poem, but at least explain why.

To everyone else, later tonight I'll give an explanation, but right now don't feel like it.

well good bye

Please ignore torimate; she's a complete idiot.

It definitely has potential, but it doesn't flow that well. It also seems to be vague for the sake of being vague. Rewrite and repost for more input.

Er, not going to rewrite it. It's definitely finished. I see what you're saying, though, and I'm glad it's that way.

Hm...I guess I should have stated this in the beginning, but it's actually a performance piece, which is why it's written all crazy. I was hoping people would take the way it's written as a cue to how it should sound, and hear it in their heads.
As for it being vague, YES! Usually when I write, it's sort of like Monet--you're left with a feeling, and that's the important thing. Impressionistic poetry. Not sure if that exists yet, but it does in my work.

Er, not going to rewrite it. It's definitely finished. I see what you're saying, though, and I'm glad it's that way.

Hm...I guess I should have stated this in the beginning, but it's actually a performance piece, which is why it's written all crazy. I was hoping people would take the way it's written as a cue to how it should sound, and hear it in their heads.
As for it being vague, YES! Usually when I write, it's sort of like Monet--you're left with a feeling, and that's the important thing. Impressionistic poetry. Not sure if that exists yet, but it does in my work.

Not trying to be difficult, but this is definitely not being rewritten. I love it more every time I read it.

Anyway, the flow is choppy on purpose, it's supposed to mimic choking and waves, as it's about drowning.
As for it being vague, that's also on purpose. Almost all of my work is somewhat vague, it's impressionistic.

Thank you very very much for all your comments, I hope to get more, you can tell me what you think it means, what you hate about it, love about it, anything.

you put your poem on here asking people what they think about it...
then when they tell you..
you tell them they're wrong and it's that way on purpose...

take some girl

ah ha ha ha ooo it seems i have support. i just want you to know u have potential but this one needs the trash.

Aaah, I double posted and screwed up.

Anyway, I didn't say anyone was wrong, I just said that's how it was intended.

Fair enough. Thank you for making this thread; it lets me know which users on FunAdvice are complete idiots. And I mean, COMPLETE idiots.

There's a website called FictionPress if you want to go there. Not the best place for decent criticisms, but certainly more than what you'll get here.

Yeah, there are other literary websites I frequent, along with having a network of poets and prose writers alike.

Not to be rude, but I'm kinda embarrassed I even bothered bringing this here. (not directed at everyone.)

Well, to conclude this train wreck, if anyone did like it, and would like to read more, or discuss poetry in general, funmail me, I love having new people to talk poetry with.