How can I get my parents to support me?

ok so I want to find my self. I want to dye my black and were different cloths but my parents are try to make me be a different person they want me to be someone im not and I hate it. pluus me mom hates me she tells me I am useless she makes me feel like I need to live my home or kill my self and she nows that I want to kill me self but she dose not know that she is the cause of it. but then she made it so I cant go over to my best friends house because I told his mom things that I dont tell her and she told that other mom that we had a imapropeit(sry cant spell) friend ship so I cant go over any more and my parents know I need to be on anti-depressents and they dont want to.

It would be interesting to learn their side of this story....from what you wrote it sounds like your life is in a dark, downward spiral....you want your life turned around ?....read the #1 best seller and discover who Jesus Christ is - He's in the business of changing lives !....you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

The last thing you should do is dye your hair black and be a goth. There's no point in doing that whatsoever. The first thing you should do is tell your mom SHE'S the one who needs to kill herself. You should stand up for yourself and shut her down.

Some moms hate their kids in the teens years. It's a lot more common than you think. It fills moms with guilt and whatnot, but its' a sad fact of life. The good news is that is it just a phase, and the mom's never stopped loving their kids, they just don't like them at all. Usually during the strange years of a teen's life who doesn't conform to cheerleader/jock/academic standards and whatnot, a lot of parents don't get them. Even if you aren't doing anything 'wrong', just dressing and looking different and liking dark things, a lot of parents go through a really depressing parenting period where they just don't understand. Parents often don't relate to their teens, the same exact way that teens do not relate to their parents.

But the difference with what you are going through is that your mom is verbalizing her emotional state to you in harsh words. If your mom is really nuts and hates you, you are not the first kid this has ever happened to. TAKE IT FROM ME.

What can you do about it?

Suffer through high school trying to find a happy medium, and count the days until you are 18. Then you can be on your own and live however you want happy forever after. That's really it. If there's abuse and whatnot, maybe you can prove it and go into foster care or group homes. Which is what I did at age 16. A whole different set of issues with come down upon you then, along with people who want to beat you and steal your stuff. That may be worse than dealing with a screaming mom. As long as she doesn't beat you and provides food and shelter, names can never hurt you. Even from your mom. You'll just have to adopt that attitude about it. She's a verbal sh*tbag. She has no censoring and is cruel. Such is life. You can still grow to be a good man and provide a good life for yourself without ever having to deal with her ever again.

You can get a job and fill your time with lots of activities that get you out of the house and away from your mom.

If you want to be goth, great. There are ways to be goth that don't require you to go completely Robert Smith overboard and cause yourself a world of misery at home. Be subtle, be who you are.

You don't need to go around being Marilyn Manson just to prove that you're unhappy and different from everyone else. You can become an artist or a musician or write or attend poetry or actually do something to express your hatred and pain.

Don't kill yourself. If you do that, then they win. You win by living a happy life once you become an adult that is as dark and depressing and as individualistic and deep as you ever imagined you could be.

I am a Goth who cannot establish claims of an advanced age, although you cannot disregard of the Elder Goths, as they provide the foundation of the culture due to their unwavering endurance, although 'foundation' is apparent, yet is unfortunately quite deficient irrespective of those who are willing to preserve of it. I became a Goth and modified my appearance merely 5 years ago, and I am quite content with this manner of being. It is assumed that discrimination against Goths is merely a trivial and humorous matter, although it is certainly not, and a genuine Goth would remain a Goth for the duration of his or her existence, and continue to maintain the appearance as well. I cannot possibly comprehend why it is that Goth is perceived of as some sort of personal choice, rather than a source of enlightenment and legitimate belief system that people are actually devoted to, and that Goths, on the condition that they wish to cease experiencing prejudice and intolerance, should simply revert to their previous beliefs and discard of their 'Gothdom,' despite the fact that Goth is similiar to a religion in numerous respects, and is definitely a valid culture, although unfortunately is not very well received by the Dominant Culture and is therefore perceived as something done in jest and insincerity a.k.a. a 'phase.' When Goths complain they are simply considered 'angsty' rather than possessing a legitimate purpose for experiencing such emotions in relation to the circumstances. Haven't the majority of non-Goths ever conceived of why it is that despite an unreasonable amount of discrimination that Goths confront daily they continue to espouse the beliefs and dress in black and apply 'unconventional' makeup?

I am cognizant of the fact that Goths are not of your kind. We do not adhere to identical or even similar values, yet we simply desire peace. We are a pacifistic community and therefore could never invoke this unjust treatment upon ourselves. My intention is not to convert you to my ways - I simply desire your patience in reading this. I wish to merit your company and walk amongst your kind without the lingering shame concerning who I am. I wish to accomplish what you accomplish, to simply arrive within a public location without being ridiculed. I myself possess numerous aspirations that I am unfortunately unable to achieve due to the conservative society declining my offers of contributing to civilization. Yet it is not I who shuns them in return, as certain Goths do, rather, I strive for the common good. I would not refrain from assisting others when my assistance is needed. I recognize morals and principals, and attempt to do what is ethical in any given situation. I may perceive of such matters in a manner which is contrasting to society, yet this desire is what all human beings share to a certain extent. It is inherent within us all, some more so than others.

I must request something of you and I shall remain grateful up to the interval of time by which I cease existing and perhaps beyond that. Distribute the information pertaining to Goth being a genuine culture. Endorse my attempts to produce increasing awareness of this matter which is significant to me. I am simply addressing what should have been addressed prior to when I myself had expressed it. There are numerous Goths of which are often prepared to address this matter although unfortunately do not. It is evident that Goths would prefer establishing the Gothic Culture, although to do this they must be willing to devote their time and effort into achieving it. Yet there is an utter lack of regard for such an important matter which indicates their lack of sincere devotion. I often succumb to a gradual condition of melancholy as I imagine the potential which is inherent within Goth that will never be recognized due to the so-called 'adherents' themselves contributing to the very death of Goth. It is as if Gothic people wish to be discriminated against, as they are not attempting to acquire rights or perhaps influence. This persecution complex is making them unsuccessful, and they must discard of it. Dedication of adherents is what will prove to be advantageous, and I am certain if Goths simply become more outspoken when pertaining to issues involving their culture and also remain committed there will be no concern of Goth ceasing to exist within the future.

The perception of Goth as some sort of social scene apparently does not do it justice. Goth is an anomaly of what it should be, as it is lacking foundation -- as I had mentioned previously. The 'Elder Goths' are often in their 20s, and it appears as though Goth is merely an extension of their youth that they are unwilling to abandon, which absolutely appalls me. The entire concept of 'youth subcultures' appalls me as well. If you integrate yourself into a culture or subculture for a purpose, why should a person's age automatically disqualify such a person from participating? Especially when there are millions of people involved worldwide rather than it being confined to a specific high school (which therefore WOULD meet the requirements essential to being considered an adolescent-oriented subculture). There is nothing specifically youth-oriented about Goth. Goths are not expected to experience antipathy towards 'preps' (who most often detest such a label and do not wish to be associated with it) and celebrate teen angst, as certain non-Goths would contend. The Gothic genre of music itself does not convey to others the inherent lack of maturity of the enthusiasts. Therefore it should be assumed that Goth is reserved for simply those who identify with it, irrespective of age.

Goth is certainly not exactly what would be considered a religion in precise terms, although it could DEFINITELY be referred to as a culture, belief system, and spiritual path. For the majority of Goths who do not place emphasis on committment, there are also quite a few who do, including myself, yet these are seldom acknowledged, which is simply awful. I am passionate as an adherent of this specific belief system, and therefore I rigidly advocate the addition of standards which permit no deviation. Therefore only the most devoted of adherents will possess the honor with which to proclaim themselves as adherents. Goths may be tolerant of others, although this is no reason to obnubilate what the term Goth is intended to refer to. After all, people are considered 'poseurs' anyhow, despite the lack of definitive standards, and as a result they should therefore be able to understand WHY others are referencing them in such a disparaging manner. The imposition of standards would eliminate confusion, although it would require the assistance of the indispensible members of the Gothic community, rather than the efforts of one person, and that is what would appear to be quite challenging, especially since Goths are distributed throughout the world, rather than within a distinct location, and also because Goths are individuals who are capable of making well-formulated decisions, implying that their ideas and my ideas may not come into accord. They may perhaps be utterly opposed to the mere consideration of Goth becoming established. This is what I am dreadful of.

I wish to establish a distinct unit within Goth. It shall be appreciated, and eventually Goth shall no longer be considered a 'scene' in entirety and shall acquire hate crime legislation within locations where it had not previously been conceived of. I am a genuine, sincere Gothic person and this will never change. I do not advocate Goths who modify themselves in favor of immersing themselves into a 'conservative' setting or obtaining employment. Corporate Goths could NEVER be regarded as Goths, in my opinion, for they lack the ability to fight resolutely for their legal rights and protection and would simply prefer what is less difficult, although can such people honestly examine themselves and infer that they are genuine? 'Corporate Goth' is a loathesome trend reserved for the weak, for those who are unwilling to endure what it is that the non-Goths, in their hostility, offer them. It merely provides a cop-out for those who are apparently not dedicated enough to occupy their time with protesting for rights which ensure that employment will be received eventually. These ideas which I have produced may appear to be radical in nature, although would not the adherents of a specific theology acknowledge the circumstances and strive vigorously against them? Goths are a marginalized culture, and there is no alternate manner of existing for them. Goth is apparently not some preposterous trend, replete with almost farcical lubrigiousity. And there ARE indeed an entire plethora of Goths exterior to the age bracket most frequently mentioned and should be revered for the commitment they have demonstrated without reserve, although unfortunately are regarded as 'immature' and it is almost inconceivable in the minds of the Others that one would maintain his or her position as a Goth beyond the age of 30, and those which do so are certainly regarded as being deficient in judgment.

I do not comprehend what it is that scenes provide for others in addition to a false, perhaps contrived, identity. You can most certainly imagine the sense of security a scene can offer, although what occurs for such individuals when it is that the scene expires due to excessive media exploitation or perhaps additional factors? Music scenes are quite susceptible to this, and therefore others should be cognizant of the fact that involvement practically guarantees the intrusion of the media upon their scene as corporations such as MTV are dedicated to attempting to locate what appeals to the 'trendy' variety and therefore shall eventually discover it. It is inevitable, and as a result one should merely engage him or her self into a scene if it is expected to be a temporary source of amusement for such a person. Although scenes are not necessarily particularly amusing due to elitism and persistent quarrelling. Attempting to contrive yourself in a manner which is exclusively intended to be distinct from the predominant current of thought is absurd. Avoiding what is mainstream deliberately is perceived of as 'cool' within scenes and as a result how ever could one regard others which are engaged within a scene as concerned with anything other than trivialities? The moment a scene receives a slight bit of interest from the media those supposed 'indispensible' members abandon the values which were essential to it and perhaps embrace the ideals of another.

I personally believe that Goths are a cultural minority which emphasizes pacifism, tolerance, introspection, spirituality, morality, intellectualism, aesthetics, individualism, creativity, high-brow culture, philosophy, as well as various beliefs, values, opinions, and ideas in response to such matters. Goths should often detest unreasonable social conventions to an intense degree, and should typically be characterized as indignant and engage in 'insubordinate' conduct rather than remain in accordance with standards of which are regarded as inconceivable to abide by, although it is evidently to prevent injustice on their behalf when supposed restrictions can easily be obnubilated with oppression. It is my form of Goth which shall continue to exist when this ludicrous social and music scene ceases. We are the minority, yet we shall function as preservers of an immortal culture. We must provide the foundation despite the fact that we do not appear to maintain influence. You must retain the fact that we are here, and we are dedicated and quite conservative (although not in relation to non-Gothic conservatives). When the youth are no longer engaged in Goth, it shall remain anyhow.

This is my vision of Goth - although there are many additional matters which require discussion pertaining to what exactly Goth is, and they shall certainly be addressed in due time. Goth is not an adolescent culture, at least, not the form I adhere to. Wikipedia does not even supply information pertaining to this unit, on the contrary, merely the unit I deviate from, although I am considering making revisions. For me, it is practically a religion, although I simply consider it a culture. The beliefs are not well established, yet certainly those within the notorious 'scene' are of a distinct unit to my obscure belief system, spiritual path, culture, and philosophy -- and it is indeed established to an extent which supersedes the form of Goth responsible for youthful identity-seeking practices.

Goths should certainly consider the prevaling standards of beauty within the predominant current of thought to be absolutely outrageous. As a result, there should be no 'ugly.' All body types should be accepted as well as other physical differences. Those who are simply a bit peculiar in their thought processes and, as a result, are regarded unfavorably, should also be permitted to seek refuge within the culture. Magazines such as Gothic Beauty had immediately repulsed me, as every model had adhered to identical standards of beauty as that of the mainstream, yet were simply alternative in their mode of dress. These magazines should be deliberately avoided by ALL Goths.

Sexuality should remain a topic of concern for Goths. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, those who practice BDSM as well as simply standard s*x...should continue to be accepted, which, in my opinion, Goths are doing quite well with.

In society, a darker mindset is discouraged, although Goths should understand that what is supposedly 'insane' behavior is actually the result of suppressed dark thoughts. Goths should assume that if darkness is expressed through art or poetry or there are simply more discussions regarding it, there will be no pent up rage or frustration which eventually results in destructive outbursts. This does not necessarily imply that Goths should merely concentrate on their darker nature, rather, they should simply emphasize it more, especially through aesthetics and creative pursuits, and Goths are continuing to maintain this as well. 'Darkness' itself is NOT contrary to morality, as it is simply an essential characteristic within us all which must be embraced. THAT is an accurate definition of a Gothic belief, I suppose.

I personally believe the more unconventional you appear to be, the more dedicated you are. Goth is certainly not about moderation, after all. Thick makeup, skulls, chains, spikes, piercings, and colored hair are, in my opinion, very beautiful as well as convey a willingness to be Gothic despite persecution and hardships. Conventional Goths should always remain quite 'extreme' in appearance and being this way shall also promote their self-expression, while moderation restricts it to merely being 'edgy,' and, if they are young, perhaps 'cool.' This is our cultural attire, and the aspects which shall most likely not be infultrated into society should be preserved, such as the makeup -- which far exceeds 'conventional' limits, and as a result will always be considered 'distasteful.'

Goth is NOT what it is that others are contriving into some contemporary adolescent-oriented trend. Goth is timeless, due to the fact that it emphasizes a classical, sophisticated manner of living. Victorianism and Romanticism are ardently embraced, as are animal rights and environmentalism in numerous instances. Self-advocacy within Goth should be requisite up to the interval of time of which we acquire influence, and the majority of countries recognize us as a cultural entity possessing authority. I implore upon you all to assist me in establishing the Gothic Culture as a genuine culture or perhaps spiritual path, rather than a diminishing adolescent trend.

Yea dont go goth thats the last thing you want to do just tell your mom shes the cause of all this and if she doesnt except this than take her to court to sign papers to let you move out to a friends or a close relative who loves you a lot

save enough money so that you can go get your hair dyed and buy ney clothes all in one day and the wear the clothes and then wasdh them so you cant return them

One: Wear what you want, your body your life.
Two: If your mom is such a bum, why would you want her to be 'supporting', it likely won't happen. My mom doesn't support my look, but she knows it's me and she can't change it.
Three: Stand up for yourself. And don't look to suicide as an answer for your moms problems.
Four: Anti-Depressants might sound cool, but can cause at lot of problems with some people down the track, unless you want to become possibly dependant on them.
You can make yourself feel a bit better by exercise, eating certain foods and doing things for yourself.

all you motherf*ckers shut up it pisses me off. goth is not all evil plus she never said she wanted or is goth. I'm not goth but like it. tell your mom she is the problam and be open about it. Just cause somebody don't dress like everybody else does not mean they are bad satan worshiping people. It help some people to dress a certain way cause it how they get away from certainthings. Like I said I'm not goth but tend to go in the punkish direction a little.

sorry about the motherf*ker thing...I'm usually don't say stuff like that. anyway still you all don't know what goths means

my mom does the same stuff. her favorite line is 'U are the cause of all the world s evil go to your room' she allmost drove me into suicide. I told her tough sh*t and went aginst her orders and dressed/acted the way I want, not the prep she wishes she still was and thinks I need to be. its been like a year since we got in a huge fight about it and she is starting to xcept that I wont put on a front just to fit in with people id never be friends with. killing urself is a selfish act and will only hurt your friends, its probably not going to solve anything even tho it seems like pretty good choice. if they dont like who you truly are they should get ovr themselvs, you know. you shouldnt 'go goth' just to defy your parents or look cool, only if its really u. they can always learn to deal w/ who you are even if they wont xcept it