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Should I forgive my dad or not? Hi everyone, I'm karima new to this webpage (funadvice) my question is should I forgive me dad or not? I know my answer but I just want to hear opinions from some people.. Ok but here goes I am 20 years old about to be 21 in nov 28. I was born and raised in trinidad with my mom & stepdad francis and sometimes my biological dad. I have two sisters and my dad negro and my mom indian.my two sisters are older than me and they look exactly like my dad & me I look exactly like my mom have nothing on me that looks like my dad. When I was born he hated me and said am not his daugter he got a dna and found out I really was his daughter just didnt look like him so he hated me cause am indian. I was three years old and I was crawling on the floor and my dad just stepped like on my back like I was a step or a mat or something well by him doing that landed me in the hospital for 9months it took a lot of needles and medication to get me better, I hate my dad he is and unexplained creature in this world only god know what he has created, after getting out the hospital my mom was still hurt from what my dad but what hurt me the most is "he cried and said he loved & her sorry so she took him back" some people ask me if you can forgive your mom why not your dad and I to be truly honest when people ask that I dont be knowing what to say cause it true neither one of them should be forgiven. My dad knows am about to be 21yrs old and after all the years he could have asked me he choose to ask me for my forgiveness now my dad abused me not only stepping on me but him and my mom use to abuse me beating me like krazy and not with their hands anything they could find am talking about not really my mom but my dad it like he acted like I wasnt human and didnt have feelings that the past and am truly trying to be stronger and let it go now that am older and living my life but trust me people its not that easy if you had the life I did.. My answer is no and going to remain no but I just would like to see if some like you were in my shoe what would you do? Please be honest.
I'm so sorry about your situation. I head once that forgiveness is not just for the other person but for your self. "Forgiving the one who hurt you is not an easy thing to do. It is however God's way but the choice is up to you. When you hold onto the hurt and you won't let it go. It turns to bitterness and your problems start to grow. You replay the incident over and over again, determining it's their fault but never looking within. They have done you wrong: this you believe to be true, and you continue to stir up the bitterness in you. It will fester like cancer and resentment will set in, conflict, stife, hatred, now they all begin. Your attitude will change and your countenance too, you'll have outburst of anger, self hatred, through and through. You don't like its effect and you try to shake it free, Oh what a grip! What a hold it just wont let you be. You pretend it doesnt bother you and that it will go away, but unless you address it head on your soul will start to decay. I experience a way that truly set me free; by turning it over to Jesus the one who died for me. His last words, "Forgive them for they know not what they do". Can you think of anyone who has suffered more injustice than you?"- 1992 Laura Mazoch. I read this in a Christian magazine and it helped give me courage to forgive my dad for what he did to my mom. I hope this helps you. Mathew 6:12
I'm so sorry to hear that about your father. I'd suggest looking beyond the past and move on since you really can't forgive him for the things he's done to you. It's hard to forgive people like your father, but, if you could think about what's ahead in your life, your father is nothing but a loser. You don't need him. He sounds cruel to begin with. If he didn't want you, it really wasn't your fault you came into this worldd. What a blessing to have you on earth even though you went through allot of abuse from your father and partly your mother. Mostly your father. So, I'd say, no, you shouldn't forgive him. I know that sounds cruel on my part, but, for all the things he's done to you, I wouldn't talk to him or anything. You have other people you can look up to. Your father might not like the fact that you won't forgive him, but, he needs to learn his lesson. That'll come. As my mother always says, "What goes around, comes around" And that's how I'd classify your father. Here's what you decide, choose what's right for you, not for your father.
Well, my situation was a little different from yours. I was the victim of sexual abuse by my stepfather. When I tried to get help, nobody - not even my mother - believed me. It went on from the time I was 11 until I was 21. It ended because my stepfather shot himself - he lived, though.
Now I am 33, and with many years of hatred and resentment behind me, I can say that I have grown past it. I forgave both my stepfather and my mother, I laid the past to rest (except in situations like this, obviously), and I feel better for it. I have a good relationship now with my parents.
If you can find it in yourself to forgive - truly forgive - things become easier to bear because it isn't weighing you down anymore.
If you don't want to forgive him for his sake, then do it for yours - lift your burden and be done with it.
Abuse is all bad for the person being abused. It defines you, makes you feel unworthy, makes you feel unloved. I would bet that if you were to confront your parents about the abuse, they would not even recognize it. I have to believe that people who do that, believe in the moment it is happening, it's the right way to handle things, perhaps the way their parents did. Should you forgive them?? ALWAYS, don't ever FORGET, but in forgiving it releases the power you give to them by hanging onto any emotion. NEVER FORGET so that you don't make the wrong choice with the, like trusting them, but forgive for YOU, not for THEM. It's all about you GIRL. Peace.
I had a thing like this to...my dad hurt me and my mom both phisicly and emotionly...hes a drunk and a crack head...and I cant forgive him for what he has done evean tho I dont like hateing him...but its really up to you it sounds to me he dosent deserv it but agin its up to you another one of my friends had this kind of thing to she chose to forgive her dad but she will not forget what he did
I understand what you going through, its like a heavy weight on ya shoulder, trust me when you forgive, you feel better and move on. this hate to ya father is holding you back ...I forgive my father what he did to me, but we dont talk no more, once you do that you feel much better...you can forgive but never forget.
forgivness isnt something you give out easily, I wouldnt forgive either of them for the things they have done, and im sorry to hear what has happened to you, my suggestion is look to the future and leave those in your past, if he didnt want you, you dont need him. the future is bright look ahead and not back.
im in a situation very like yours and I think you should say "f*** him" and forget about him -hes scum ( like my dad :) )
they don't deserve forgiveness for something as bad as that... but thats just my opinion.
Best of luck in your decision
I think you should look ahead and not back look at the future if you don't want 2 forgive him you dont have 2
