My dads in prison

My dad has been in prison since my 3rd birthday, and my mom never told me where he was until I was 9 and wouldnt let me see him until I was 11. now im 14, and I just dont look at hhim as my father anymore. because isnt a Father suppose to be there for...

you, help you and take care of you?? and since I have never really lived with him, to me hes just a stranger in prison. oh, and hes never getting out. so its not like ill ever have to see him if I dont want to. Anyways, I was sad about it. then I was mad. and now I dont care but it just hurts to see other daughters with their fathers...and do you think that pushing him out of my life is the wrong choice??? HELLLP!

I don't think you should push him out of your life, I mean it's impossible to be that father figure in your life because he's in there. But you don't know how he would care for you if he wasn't in jail, maybe he would have been a good father. You cant really judge him on what you don't know. You say he feels like a stranger to you, well maybe you should change that and actually give him a chance. He needs love to and I think you should step up and be the one he lives for, be the reason to put a smile on his face everyday. Neither you or him can change what has happened in the past, but you can change your future. Some people don't have a father AT ALL, you may feel like you don't have one but if you made that effort, you could. If you don't you'll regret it when you're older.
I hope you make the right choice and think about his point of view. Him being in jail for the rest of his life is enough punishment for what he's done, so please, don't punish him even more by walking away.

I operate on the rule never judge a book by its cover. pushing him out of your life I dont think thats the answer. you have no idea if he would take care of you or not. Everybody dserves a econd chance. give him that chance that opportunity to be a father to you. dont puh him away when you get older you will regret it

well. . . . . . .. . . your dad did somthing bad. to get sent for life. and I know you need somwon to be in your life as a father figur. but hes still your father. . . . . dont treat him like that. but you have to still .love him. family is family. . . all the way. . .I dis like my bro but I still love him!!!

We share an account so this is somone different. My dad isnt in prison but I kinda know how ya feel.I know that you love him but sometimes that you just wish you didnt have to deal with it.my mom and dad are devorced and I only see her like once a year.I often miss her but sometimes I just wish that they didnt get married and he just married my step mom. its really hard living like this but your not alone. but back to your story. I dont think you should exclude him from your life but dont make him the center of it either. if you do make him the center of your life it will just get harder for you to live with him in prison. if you really want to meet him and wont make like depressed for the rest of your life then ask your mom if for your birthday you can visit him.just after my past experiences really dont make it that big a deal because you will regret it.

hey...

in uganda I went to an orphanage.
most of the kids there had parents who died in the genocide in Rwanda. they had to flee, or be killed. a lot of those kids never had a christmas in their entire life. so we gave them christmas, with a little tree that they made all the decorations for by hand. the look in their eyes was breath taking.

you're probably thinking, I'm not african, nice story, but what does this have to do with anything?
...you're obviously having a hard time, after all, you're dad's been in jail for as long as you can remember. I probably would be too... and everyone else complains about their dads with rules and stuff when they don't have a clue what it's like without him.

you have a say in whether you get to have a relationship with your dad or not. it's your life. remember nobody's dad's the same, and nobodys parents are perfect (trust me, I know first hand, lol)

you probably feel betrayed. he's you're dad, and you never got the same childhood as you would have otherwise. your dad would never go to jail to betray you, so don't ever think he has. and you wouldn't be who you are if your dad was different, be grateful.

he is your dad! it's not going to be easy, and you're not going to start being best friends in a second. but something I learnt from those kids in africa is that no matter what, you're parents are indispensiable.

you only get one dad. and if you lose him, both of you will most likely never forgive yourselves.

I hope that helped... and I hope it works out
luv rach

yes your father may not be there,but he will always be your father and nothing can change that...your mom and dad are still around,I have a close friend who mom and dad passed away when he was very young,and has a step sister who blames him for anything her son did