My brother verbally abuses me.

My older brother (15) verbally abuses me (14), my little brother (12), and my Mom. My parents are divorced, and it's because my father also used to verbally abuse my mom. I don't even know if I can define it as verbal abuse, because I'm not sure - I guess I need confirmation that it is. My father is very strict and raised my older brother as "Daddy's little boy" and now my brother is basically a clone of him. He was very hard on him and I expect he also verbally abused him, but I think I was too young to remember. My parents divorced when I was about 6 or 7, and since then my brother's behaviour has gotten and is only getting worse. Don't get me wrong, they are both very nice people when they want to be. But most of the time, my brother is basically cruel, angry, and agressive. And loud, definetly. There are so many times he does things (a few times every day, basically) that I can't even begin to describe how cruel he is. As recent examples: today I was sitting at my desk when my dad called to tell us that he'd pick us up tomorrow morning instead of tonight because we're getting renovations done at his house and the paint and whatnot is pretty toxic for overnight stays. After I hung up with my Dad, I told my brother what my Dad told me. My brother then called me "SO FRICKING STUPID!!!!" and "WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THESE STUPID PLANS," etc. When I didn't even have anything to do with them. When I walk by the living room where he and my little brother are watching TV, he calls out "UGLY!" and "LOSER!" randomly when I've been nice to him all day. The things he says are usually ten times worse, but these are just the most recent things I can think of at the moment. He also is incredibly horrible to my mom, completely ungreatful and nasty. He says mean things to her. He never hits her or anything, but he throws things at me and my little brother, pushes me across the room, and kicks me as hard as he can when he's mad because I don't agree to give him something he wants from my room or something. I can't really stand much more of it, and I cry a lot because of it. He basically makes us all feel like crap, all the time, and we try but there's nothing we can do about it. I have no clue what to do. I've always considered calilng the cops or something, but there are days when he can be so incredibly nice. We've tried counseling, but whenever he went with my mom he'd play the "victim" role, as if everyone hates him and is out to get him. I really need to know what to do. I love him, but I hate him. Please, help me out. Thanks.

To me, it sounds like your brother is dealing with a lot of stress that's left over from your parent's divorce. Think about how much it probably hurt him when your parents got divorced, especially if he had a close relationship with your father. It seems like all of his pent up stress causes him to act aggressively towards you and your other family members. Its understandable that your brother is nice to you sometimes, because deep inside, I'm sure he has a great love for you and doesn't mean to hurt your feelings with the things that he says and does. Try not to be so hurt when your brother does mean things to you, and try your best to show him that his aggressive words and actions won't break you down. As much as he loves you, he finds a sense of relief in doing things that may upset you, because for once, someone else is experiencing the pain that he feels inside too. Don't let it get to you, and don't let mean words affect you. No matter what he says, be confident that you are a beautiful person, and try not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you hurt. When there are times when you feel like he does something that you just cannot push aside, try telling him directly that what he just did hurt or upset you. It sounds like your brother really does care about you a lot, he just has a bad day of dealing with his stress. Try to push it aside and don't let it affect you negatively. Hope this helps :-)

I think you are a very intelligent girl, congratulations, just listen to
hunnybunny621, his advice is full of understanding. Maybe you can show your letter you wrote here to all of your family. I think basically all of you are the same intelligent as you are, so they will also understand that how right you are.