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Why do I feel like I'm not giving him what he wants?

Me Asked by eudaimonia 12 months ago, 7 answers.
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So I was on my boyfriend's computer and I was looking in the history for a site I had visited a week earlier. That's when I saw a bunch of P0rn sites that he had visited. Should I say something about it to him or let it slide? It hasn't affected our sexlife at all, and I like to watch videos when I'm alone...so why do I feel like I'm not giving him what he wants?

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Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on Nov 23, 2007, 07:11PM
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Hmm... I think you should talk about it with him,... I caught my boyfriend jacking off to p0rn before I was sooo upset I felt like I wasnt good enough at all I didnt eat for like 2 days cause of that ... yeh it effected me a lot... so we got into a BIG fight and so I never caught him since... umm.. I think its just a thing all guys do.. I'm not really sure why? I think you are giving him what he wants he just likes to look.

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Senior Year Answered by heathershaw05 on Nov 23, 2007, 07:38PM
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Why don't you watch it together...

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Face! Answered by underwaterophelia on Nov 23, 2007, 08:29PM
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It has nothing to do with you, or how sexy you are, and you're probably giving him enough.

It's just a normal thing that guys like to do.

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Answered by jsauve2 on Nov 23, 2007, 09:36PM
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I am a 21 year old female, I do not care if my boyfriend watches po*n yet alone goes to a strip club. Men are men they are stimulated by visualization... Depending on your preference tell him how you feel... when you watch po*n it makes me feel like...

Po*nography is not as bad as it seems... As long as it is not affecting your sexual life then why does it matter?

I have had sexual intercourse with my boyfriend when he is horny because of watching po(n. It is something different and spontaneous that it has a tendency for them to appreciate you more... because you are REAL they are just girls in a video... anyways hope this helps!

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Me Answered by eudaimonia on Nov 24, 2007, 05:18AM
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Thanks for your advice everyone. I try to keep things fun and new with him...different positions, dressing up, talking dirty. So, I think everything is going to be fine. I'm not going to bring it up to him...he's a guy and I should let him be a guy lol anyways, thanx

Answered by angelfire2708 on Nov 24, 2007, 09:05AM
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It may be "normal", but also disrespectful! Girlsfriends/wives deserve love, respect and honor, by their boyfriends/husbands!

I dont think that these behaviors are OK because I believe that every time someone views p*rn or visits a strip club, there is damage that results on multiple levels - relational, mental, spiritual, and societal.

It is important for couples that are dating to be on the same page in regards to their moral convictions. Involvement in these behaviors leads men to a lustful view of women, perceiving them as objects - and who wants to be seen or thought of as an object? it is impossible to be involved in such things and not transfer the lustful thoughts and looks to the real women that one interacts with on a daily basis.

Problems with p*rn and strip clubs, if not dealt with, can present major problems in the future. There is no reason to believe that a ring on a finger or marriage are magic formulas that will automatically free him from his vices. Too many married couples that struggle because the husband is still involved in sexual lust because of things like p*rn and strip clubs - things he started doing as a teenager. In this circumstance, the damage to the self-esteem of women is intense. These behaviors are damaging to your boyfriend, too. Habits and attitudes of lust are difficult for men to overcome, and they sabotage good and healthy relationships.

P*rnography is becoming increasingly available and increasingly perverse. It is addictive, and this addiction has ruined countless lives, marriages, and families.

He needs to rebuild your trust in this area and should consider whether you or these behaviors are more important. I really do think that is a fair ultimatum to give to him. If he cannot respect your wishes, I dont think he deserves to be in a relationship with you.

In the book "Wild at Heart" > the author says -

What makes p*rnography so addictive is that more than anything else in a lost man's life, it makes him feel like a man without ever requiring a thing of him. The less a guy feels like a real man in the presence of a real woman, the more vulnerable he is to p*rn.

Pattie and George Answered by modernwinterbreeze on Nov 24, 2007, 02:07PM
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It's nothing about you.Some guys just watch p*orn normally,and there's nothing wrong with that.Personally,I think p*orn is disturbing,but that's just me.Let it slide.Don't worry about it.

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