Why doesn't my boyfriend want as much sex as me?

This is kind of embarrasing to post, but my boyfriend doesn't want sex as much as I do. I have a high sex drive & it's great when we do it, but it's a problem just getting him IN the mood. I mean, we normally have sex once every one to two days before, but now it's once a week or once in two weeks, sometimes even three... & that's not really enough for me. I don't understand this. I feel like he finds me unattractive or boring, our sex life has pretty much gone down the drain, with him never in the mood I'm always put off & so I don't even have the desire to do it anymore.

Is it possible, that because he was my first & he's slept with many in his previous relationships, his sex drive is slowing? I really do back off & not say a word to see if he will initiate something, but nothing happens, sometimes he plays around, grabs here & there or turns me on then just suddenly turns his back on me & falls asleep? What is up with that...? It's so frustrating. I mean, he's 21 and I'm 18-- we shouldn't be having this 'problem,' right?

I can't possibly be the only girl who has had this problem, so any advice you can offer would be great. Would love advice from a guys point of view too!

Thanks.

I had that problem with my ex husband. It was the biggest rift in our marriage I think. Not only just sex but intimacy altogether. I thought maybe it would get better but it never did.

TALK to him about it. If he gets upset about it then maybe you should find a sex therapy book or find a sex therapist.

Here are a few facts>

* Statistics show that those who had 2 or more sex partners before getting married, had an 86% chance that one of the partners would step out and have an affair.

* Pre-marital sex is short-term ecstasy and long-term misery. Denying yourself the opportunity of sex before marriage will never hurt you; it will build your character and teach you that passions and desires can be controlled. Self-discipline in this matter will enable you to gain it in other areas of life.

*Those who remain sexually pure for marriage have a better chance of love and happiness in a marriage.

*Premarital sex may be bad for the emotional health of your future marriage. It lays the groundwork for comparisons, suspicions, and mistrust. 'Am I as attractive (or as sexually stimulating) as his last partner?' 'If he didn't wait for me before we were married, why do I think he will settle for only me now?' 'If someone better comes along, will I be left in the dust?'
Sex before marriage ruins the other parts of the relationship.

People just dont understand that past sex relationships (premarital sex) does have an effect on future relationships.

Have you tried making sex more interesting? Maybe he is getting tired of routine and needs a little excitement! You should definately try wearing something sexy, or surprise him with a candlelit, relaxing massage... with a happy ending! Think of it this way, 'What would I do my first time with a new boyfriend, how would I surprise him?', and go from there! Good luck!

From a mans point of view. Guys are 'hunters' and love the thrill of the hunt. Once the pray has been bagged the hunt is over and it is time to get on to another hunt. In your situation 'you are in the bag' The sex was his goal while intimacy and commitment were yours. In my experiance it is a lot harder to keep a guy than to get one. A relationship that was built on hormonal drive and not love and commitment is prety sure of failure. Your options are open. Get out of the relationship or get a dildo/vibrator.
Good Luck
Gino

oh yeah there's one more thing I left out though, on days when he gets touchy I restrict him from touching me, & that grabs his attention, so he'll continue to try even harder to turn me on, but the thing is once I give in & get into it, he'll say 'mm no I'm tired babe' or 'no honey I got work soon' so I'm guessing he likes it when I play hard to get, & he likes to play little games.

- with the facts from 'angelfire', there was one point when he kept saying to me in a playful kind of way 'hey you're mine, all of you is mine, no one can have you' then he always ends the sentence off with 'my babe would never cheat on me, hey! ' & we would have a little laugh, but he use to say that quite often, so maybe he was a bit concerned or we were just playing around.

- to me sex is not just 'sex', I enjoy it because of the intimacy, not only that,
it brings us so much closer too, along with the relationship. I guess it's because we're living with each other, there's really no desire there, so time off from each other really helps, it gives us the chance to miss each other & spice up our sex life, but only for a little while then it goes back to the dull..
But I'm happy that at least it's not a sexless relationship, so it's not bothering me as much as it use to, but just thinking, if things are going to be like this now, the future would probably end up as a sexless relationship & I wouldn't want that.. so marrying this guy, is far off my mind at the moment.

& hey I got more advice than I expected hehe so thanks heaps for your time & advices!

angelfire - with the last fact, thats 'exactly' how I think..!

sikashimmer - I've tried to talk about it to him a few times, but he doesn't really say anything or trys to avoid the question, it's like he gets kind of shy.. hmm? but yeah I'm planning to go buy this book 'when your sex drives don't match: discover your libido types to create a mutualy satisfying sex life' by sandra pertrot . so hopefully that would help.

heathershaw - hmm yeah true? I get scared he might turn me down though lol but I'll give it a go when I'm completely confident.

escortgino - yeah thats how I see it sometimes too, but instead of just jumping out of this relationship, I'm trying to work on it & see how things go. At one point, our relationship was basically hanging on a line & I was going to leave him, but he wouldn't let me leave & sat me down to talk about our relationship & everything, & coming from a guy, that is something a guy would 'least' likely do lol so I was pretty convinced that he does love me..

anyway, thanks again guys! =)

Hey, the whole feeling you here and there and then him turning his back on you and falling asleep is what I went through too. My boyfriend at the time used to say that I wasn't giving feedback to him when he did stuff like that so he felt that I didn't want it. All I can say is have open communication about this topic with him. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about it. Men are sensitive about this topic and it can make them feel inadequate discussing it, they want to make sure that they please their woman in most cases. Be sure to tell him how much you enjoy it when it happens.