How can I stop jealousy of my boyfriend's new friends?

Asked by kaileyxox45 over 2 years ago, 9 answers.

Help. My boyfriend has this new group of friends that are a year older then us, most of them being girls. I think its nice he has new friends (considering hes always been a little lonely) but its starting to drive me crazy. Hes going to a concert with them over the summer (warped tour 06 if you know anything about it ). And today after school I saw him with his arms out to hug one of them. I know they just think hes cute and dont want anything out of him except a friend, but it hurts really bad and makes me want to cry. I want to cut so bad ( I used to) but I know its so wrong to do that so im not. HELP ME! I tried talking to him but he just keeps telling me to chill and that hes only friends with them, I know its true but it drives me crazy and im almost a little jealous that he didnt invite me to go to the concert with them, but they hate me for whatever reason (considering they never talk to me) so why would I want to go anyway? HELP! If it helps-weve been going out for almost a year and im so head over heals inlove with him, and someitmes I feel like he doesnt even need me to be happy anymore

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Answered by ravenjohnson on May 17, 2007, 10:19PM

sorry! He is messing around. If you can't see it then you really shouldn't care.

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Answered by funadvice on Mar 30, 2006, 05:21PM

I bet a lot of girls can relate to your situation, and it's only natural to feel a little jealous about your boyfriend being friends with these other girls. Its important for you to know that all girls go through situations like these because of how territorial we are with our men. You feel jealous when you see your boyfriend hugging these girls because for that brief moment, they're taking his attention off of you. Try not to feel jealous even if you don't have his attention for that small amount of time. The fact of the matter is, you're boyfriend is probably CRAZY about you. Your relationship must be pretty strong if you guys have been going out for almost a year. Don't let his friendship with these girls intimidate you. You are beautiful in your boyfriend's eyes, and you should feel secure in knowing that. The reason that you feel like these girls don't like you is probably because they're a little jealous of the guy you've got. They see how great you and your boyfriend are together, and then they get jealous of you because they envy your relationship. This is nothing for you to worry about, in fact, it should make you feel pretty damn good. What you have to do is show these girls how confident you are in your relationship. Show them that you trust your boyfriend, and that you know that you don't have anything to worry about when it comes to them hanging out with him. Don't let the situation make you upset. I can relate to how you feel about your boyfriend going to the Warped Tour with his new friends. You might feel a little excluded, but you're right, why would you want to go anywhere with those other people anyway? Try doing something special for yourself while he's away at the concert. Go out with some friends, or have some people over for a sleepover! Doing something else will not only take your mind off the fact that he's out with these other people, but it'll be FUN!! To me, it sounds like you don't have too much to worry about with these other kids. Just keep loving your boyfriend and stay confident in your relationship. Don't let it upset you when you see him with these other people, because no matter what, you're his girlfriend and he loves you way more than them. If he wasn't happy with you, then he wouldn't be with you right now. There's nothing for you to worry about. Good luck, and I hope this helps :-) Funmail me if you'd like

Answered by wakingbeauty on Mar 30, 2006, 08:16PM
| 97 answers.

I agree with most of what hunnybunny said, however-what you have to worry about is up to you because you are there and you see it. I believe they are jealous and when women get jealous they like to play the 'I bet I can have your man' game (not all but a lot) ....watch them. Your boyfriend has no business not inviting you to go anywhere where he's going to be alone with some girls. And if he keeps hanging with them...you might find yourself in the Usher 'You Make Me want to' song. And I'm not putting your boyfriend down, I'm sure he's a great guy, he must be or you wouldnt be with him....But um...watch them ho3s.

Answered by ashley_13 on Mar 30, 2006, 10:25PM
| 20 answers.

kick his ass to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answered by dramaqueen on Mar 31, 2006, 12:56PM
| 42 answers.

Kick his ass

Answered by silver_foxx83 on Jun 25, 2006, 08:26PM

LOL @ you guys! OK, here's the deal...I can relate to how you feel, left out of the loop with nothing to do while my boyfriend hangs out with other people. You should talk to him about this if it really bothers you. You said these girls don't like you. Is it b/c they've never spoken to you? Look within yourself as well. You probably seem insecure around them and that's the reason they aren't friendly towards you. Do they flirt with him in front of you? Do they act like you're invisible when they talk to him? Do they smirk or roll their eyes when you're around him? I've had experiences with girls being catty towards me because they liked my boyfriend...they were female friends of his. I didn't like most of them because of their constant flirting with him/talking sh*t about me when they didn't know me, and they didn't like me because I was his girlfriend. If he simply gave one of them a friendly hug, then that's different. I wonder, however, why you weren't invited to the concert. That is one possible way of them showing you they don't want you around. Or it could be that they simply didn't consider your feelings but meant no harm. He could've bought you a ticket. Oh well...this is one issue you'll have to talk to him about and you guys can try to work it out. You might even wind up being friends with these girls too. Lots of luck!

Answered by psycho_carly on Jul 05, 2006, 09:52AM

I'm going through a similar thing right now with my boyfriend, he's met a girl that he wants to be friends with and I'm feeling a bit weird about it but hunnybunny is right. You just have to trust him on it, if he undermines your trust then move on, as hard as it may be. He obviously values your relationship if he is still with you and there is no reason why you can't both do things seperately, it's important to have time to yourself or with your own friends. If a time does come when he no longer wants to be with you then the right thing to do would be to end things before doing anything with anyone else. If he does cheat then he isnt worth the ground he walks on, and your better off without him. It may hurt at the time but trust me (I've been there) and you do get over it. But to be honest I dont think you have anything to worry about, maybe try and talk to some of these girls, if you know more about them it may be easier for you to trust them aswell. Try not to act paranoid around your boyfriend, sometimes it is enough to push them away if your constantly confronting him about his friends. Just relax and take things as they come.