My boyfriend's mom hates me for no apparent reason. what do I do??

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years this coming June. For the first month, his mom liked me, but after that we became really serious and she made it apparent that she doesn't like me. She set curfews for him on nights he was with me and made him hang out with his brother and friends for a certain number of days/nights per week so we couldn't be together.
I think she doesn't like me because I take up a lot of his time and I take him away from her, but he loves me and I love him so what can I do to stop her ridiculous behavior? We have just completed our freshman year at the same school, and spent almost every night together. Now we are both home, she tries to control his every move when he is with me. For instance, one night I picked him up after a long day working and we were on our way to get a movie when she called and said that his screen on his bedroom window was out so she thinks I have been sneaking over to sleep with him in the night. I have not been doing this, but she made us turn around and him come home for the night.
It's getting to be absolutely ridiculous, especially after a year at school together and being used to hanging out every single day. He stands up to her and doesn't just accept her actions, but still doesn't want to rebel too much. What can I do to make her cut the crap and make her see I am not a bad influence?!

Well, think about this... its going to be hard to change his mom's mind. The older people get, the harder it will be to change their minds about things.

And obviously, she is going to "protect" her son at all costs. This reminds me of when I used to date a girl that my mom did not like. She went behing my back and told the girl not to see me again. The girl did not see me again. I was so mad and upset that I could have done anything.

Which brings me back from that digression. Try to find out why his mom doesn't like you, then you try to find a way to change, or to get to know her better. He has to do his part as well by explaining you to his mother, and letting her know why he wants to go out with you.

Maybe she is thinks that you are a bad influence on him, or maybe she thinks that you are not good enough for her son (many mothers do). So do the dirty, and suck up to her so you can get closer to her son.

Sure you can see more of him on the sly, but sooner or later that will catch up with you.

Mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons; especially if they think the relationship is getting serious. Mothers are afraid of losing their little boy to another woman even though they know it's going to happen sooner or later. I would just try to keep reaffirming that you're not a bad influence and you're intentions are trie. Unfortunately, you can probably only prove your worth with lots of time and reassurance. Just hang in there and enjoy the time alone you do have and try to find a healthy and convenient way to work yourself into any "family scheduling". Not all of it; just some of it to demonstrate your willingness to accept your boyfriend and everything that comes with him

she thinks you are a slut and she wants her son to be a nice little virgin. OR she knows he's a horny bastard and wants to prevent him from getting laid. either way you lose. move on.

I know how you feel...........

Well for one your taking her baby away from her,and when you go over to his house you could spend some time with his mom and him this may help her stop thinking that your taking her baby away form her....I hope this helps you some so good luck!!!

First of all if you talk to her like you are talking ABOUT her, I would not like you either. His mom has known him longer than you ever will. I have a 17 year old son and would feel the same way if he brought someone home that has the attitude like you do. If you want to change things, and I get the feeling you don't..you have to spend more time with the mom, you have to open up to her, get her to like you, tell her about your past, things you go through, make her want to protect you..then you need to protect her, your boyfriend, and yourself from going through something (like pregnancy) that you are way too young for. If you take these steps, by the time you graduate you will probably have her wanting to bring you into her family.

thats exactly what a mom would say. But to texaskimmie your answer is only right in a moms point of view. Your a little harder on the girl who wrote this then she is on asking the damn question for help. She is young still and im sure does not want to be protected by a mom. Theyre young .. go have fun girl who asked the question. Family stuff comes later on. Then you'll grow old and look back at life and laugh about it.

I am sorry, it only gets worse with time. Many mothers despise the woman their son chooses "over" them. If you truly love this man, than I presume he is worth enduring the hate bullets she sends your way. I am sorry. But, you are NOT alone. It is a very common thing. Just remember you love him, and if she really does..his happiness should supercede her selfish feelings.

To texasskimme.. you are a bit harsh. NO daughter in law or potential daughter in law should have to open up to the the mother. The MOTHER is the adult, and is the one that is to openly embrace the new comer. The sons girlfriend already has a family of her own, and does not have to divulge her life secrets to his mother in order to be liked. She is dating the son, NOT the mother. If you really think she has an obligation to do that, than you are only setting yourself up for failure. Remember that when your son turns his back on you for hurting the love of his life.

I fully underestand how you feel, I am going threw this right now and it is very unpleasant! I have always had all mothers like me, boyfriends and friends. Unfortunatly I can't really give you all that much advice. Maybe just find out what she values in a girl (to put it that way) that she pictures " right " for her son and show her you posses these qualities.
As for you texasskimme, I would say that you are very unwelcoming and offensive, this is exactly the kind of feeling that pushes away the girlfriend from being open and eventually your son. I would say you are the one with the atitude and negative expectations, this girl has obviously been hurt and just needs some good advice!

I can understand what you are going through, I met my boyfriend back in March and start dating in July. He was going through a rough time with an ex and his mom told him "be careful don't hurt me..." well thing's have been going good and now she doesn't say a word to me. I don't understand why. His father is great, nice to me and everything. His mother on the other side makes me feel uncomfortable in the home and unwanted. I care for her son, and won't break up with him because of her. It is confusing... I wish I had the answers...

And as for you texaskimme the others are right. I could never be like that to my future children. Look at it from there perspective, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MOTHER DID THAT TO YOU?

I had the same experience once and she told me I couldnt ever go round there house agen but I went round there once to pik up my jacket and she chased me down the street with a metal pole sayin she'd kill me!

after that we started skipping school to be with eachother and sum how his mum changed and now we spend time with eachother and are closer than I am to some of my family.

I thyink you just need to stay away from her and give her time to get used to the fact that you 2 are rele serious and then hopefully she'll back off

good luck hun

xx

because all moms are jealouse I have a girlfriend and my mom is jealousee I bet you your dad iss jealouse trustt me
so shes jjust jealouse thats alll

heyy girly =]
I am currently going through the SAME issue, only my boyfriends mom decided it would be best if he moved back in with her in ohio [[I'm in florida]] and he is now trying so hard to just leave the house ..mind you he is 19 and he is being held in his house by his mom. she does not like me and thinks that I am being irrational and that I just want him here. I just want whats fair..and keeping a 19 year old away from college and friends and family and just secluded in a house with little windows is just wrong.

just deal with it hun, if you love him as much as you say you do you will find the strength to deal with her and ignore her. I personally ignore his mom, I do not call her or pick up her phone calls and I am ready for my boyfriend to come back in a week =]

I hope everything works out for you.
just show her the bigger and better person and that doesnt mean you have to tell her anything about your past in order for her to like you.