Is my boyfriend cheating with other men?

I came home one day feeling something deep within my heart. We had been together 1 year and 1 week exact. So I go to his email account (password was saved, he never erased it when he left here last September). I saw emails of him posting messages up on craigslist looking for men to have sex with. It was completely sickening. I felt so hurt and betrayed. We had the best relationship. Sex was never a problem. But this completely shocked me. I somehow knew there was something going on. I just could not put my finger on it. He's in Vegas right now and I'm still here in Germany until the end of July (then I go to Vegas too). One email was with one person and it said what type of sex he liked and told him what time to meet.
At first he denied everything and blamed someone else. But there was a description of him and what he wanted to do with these men and his cell phone number was on there too. He tells me he was just curious. He has a problem with (straight) porn. He says he's addicted to it. But he wanted to try something new. When he got there he said he felt gross and disgusting and just left. He said he did not get aroused at all. It hurts my heart a lot though.
He's going to church now and he's making a huge change. He says he's not gay but was just posting messages so that someone would write back to him. And apparently only men did. I don't know what to think.
I still wonder that he may be gay or maybe bi. He promised and swore on his mothers grave he had never had sex with another man. just had oral twice and felt frozen and was not aroused at all. He writes to me everyday telling me that he loves me and he misses me. I want to forget him. I am not mad at him. I forgave him. But I need to know if this has happened to anyone else, and how did you handle it? Please help me. I have two gay friends and they both tell me that he was just doing the message thing to get attention since he was just addicted to sex. They only have a gay point of view because they aren't interested in women at all. I need help.

What have you done in this situation?

He probablly was just doing it out of curiosity. A lot of men do it. They get curious and it's not a bad thing. Let it go. I'm sure he didn't cheat. I, on the other half, was left by one of my ex's for a guy. So, I totally know where you are coming from. I still hurt up to this day. It's not fun at all. But we have to live, forgive, and forget. Unless you find something where you can prove he cheated don't let it get to you anymore. Nothing has happened since then I'm assuming. [?] So, just let it be done with. Don't hold on to that hurt feeling. I know there's not going to be that same trust you had before, believe me. But give him some kind of slack, he told you the truth. And I'm sure it was the truth.

This exact thing happened to me about 5-6 years ago. EXACTLY.

We were in love, together about two years and we started watching porn now and then to spice of the sex life, although it was already good. He started bringing home more porn than I signed up for, started NEEDING it to get off with me, started "accidentally" buying bisexual porn and making excuses. Deviant behavior set in. He wanted to get into a threesomes and foursomes, men included, I considered it just because I was young and thought I should in order to please my boyfriend. Long story short-- he started acting funny around the computer, seemed to be hiding something. Why? I was okay with at least talking about experiementing and told him so. So I did some searching around on the internet and I found ads he posted looking for threeways with married couples or couples OR just another man. He said what part of town he lived in, how he was endowed, what he looked like, etc.

I called him on it, he did the same thing your boyfriend did. Blamed it on other people, lied, said it was just fantasy, swore he wasn't gay, just wanted to talk to someone, blah blah blah. I was hurt and sickened and sad and all of that. I told him if he thought he may be gay and wanted to explore it, I would be his friend through it, but that we needed to break up. He said he wasn't gay, just curious about fantasizing on the internet. We worked through it and stayed together another year until I found some lame ass screen name file folder pop up on my desktop on my computer that said, "bi-curious" something or other. That time he got angry at ME and blamed it on me, said it must have been some screen name I made up for myself and forgot about (god I couldn't believe he tried that one on me with a straight face). I never could trust him after that first time and after that, I realized that. I thought it was okay if he was bi-curious but you know what? It just isn't/wasn't. I didn't want a man like that and I didn't trust him ever again. And most of all--I didn't want a relationship with someone who was a damn liar when he didn't need to be! I was supportive, I would have helped, I offered. But no, he hid and lied and lied and hid.

The point is--it doesn't matter whether or not he is gay or bi or just curious or what. What matters is that trust is broken, he lied and hid this huge part of who he is and now you just can't hang with that.

Know what else? Now he messed it up for future boyfriends. Next guy you date, you'll be all super paranoid about him being gay or bi deep down. Cut your losses and start healing. Don't be with someone who hides and lies about things, regardless what they are. It doesn't matter if he lied about being curious or gay or bi, or if he just lied about liking mexican food or motor boats. He lied. That, you cannot abide.

He needs to go figure things out on his own and leave innoent bystanders like you out of his curiosities and whatnot.

Just get away from him and find a heterosexual man who knows who he is and is secure in who he is. This kind of thing just sucks to go through and you're worth more than lies and deceit. Find a shining man who walks in truth and self-awareness. Not some little boy who can't decide whether or not he wants a c**k in his mouth or not and lies and points fingers at everyone instead of himself. Ew, just MOVE ON.

I think that is the best if nobody lies to anybody. So I advice you to be tolerant then you will see what happens, and you can make your decision later. I mean, make an atmosphere between you and your b/f that he may feel free to tell you all about his sexual fantasies and feeling. Be curious of them, and try to understand them. When you are making sex ask him what els or pictures is in his head. You kow, this age we live in is full of sexual effects on everybody and we are differently sensitive to them. The tons of porn pics may initiated in your b/f's soul certain curiousness. If so, you should avoid to push him into lies and sectret meetings. So do not show your fright and indignation on this matter, but try to be curious what details are exciting for him. Be a friend in this sexual exploration and if he wants to meet a male tell that you also want to see him. Or jast ask him "and how is this "Jack" doing his life?" Let them to talk about everything when you are present, and be sensitive of what and why is exciting for your b/f. If they want to give b/j to each other be present, and see that it is really unacceptable for you or not. I think after few adventures like this I alluded your b/f will calm down and return to the normal sexuality with you. But do not let him to do secret steps, be a good partner in everything. I am sure he will be thankful for it. If you do this well you will find it very interesting. You will be able to insight into the sexual parts of a man's brain. Consider everythink in this way, and be active.

Your boyfriend is a liar and you need to get away from him before you have not
just a broken heart but a disease.