My 1st poem ever posted

well emodancer aka randi told me to post it because she likes it so what do you guys think

my vision blurred
couldn't seem to listen to anyone
lost the ablitly to breathe
tasted nothing but dark, bitter medicine
collapsed onto the cold, barren...

ground
stopped the beating of my aching heart

you wouln't care
you wouldn't turn around and hug me and kiss me
and hold me in your arems until the end of time

which was why I decided to move on
move on to a better place
even though I didn't want to
but I knew it had to be done

I think its amazing I wrote poem 3 days ago it was my first time to write and im telling you its good gr8 way to express what is inside u

very good 2 thumbs up!

I think its so good

I like this part:
you wouldn't care
you wouldn't turn around and hug me and kiss me
and hold me in your arms until the end of time

thats really like.. touching I like it a lot