What to do after learning my 10-year-old touches herself?

I was changing my 16 month old daughter's diaper and my 10 yr old was standing there, my little one was pointing to her private, or polly as we call it. My older daughter out of no where says, 'mom, I put my hand down my panties at night and touch myself'. I was completely shocked, I started laughing and so did she, I didn't know what to say. Then she said she touched her polly and tickles it too. This is obviously mas*urbat*on even though she didn't know what to call it.. I have no idea how to handle this. I was unaware that women had any feelings down there until I was 20 years old, as unbelievable as that seems. I know people probably have many different opinions on this, I have no idea what to do. Should I talk to her about it, should I tell her about sex now? She also asked me not to tell her dad. I don't no why she told me this out of the blue. She is very sheltered, so I don't know how she even figured out about this. Please help, My husband and I feel very unprepared to deal with this. Thanks!

as hard as it may seem, talking to her about basics would probably be the best idea. You dont have to tell her every aspect of sex yet, giving that she is only 10. but explain things to her, it will be easier and maybe she wont surprise you like that if she knows more.

The kids are growin up fast these days!

My son is almost 11 and about two summers ago, took to 'taking naps' mid day. Naked ones. In the dark. And he never really went to sleep. I found out by walking in on him. I knew what he was doing, didn't need to ask him about it and told his dad because it's important for both parents to know at what stage of development the child is in so that they can tread appropriately. Assuming both parents are practical, rational people who won't punish the child or make them feel wrong for it, that is.

I first started twixing my nethers when I was about 13. But I was playing doctor with anyone and everyone all over the neighborhood from age 5. Hey, my dad and grandpa had pornos and playboys in the garage and we had to be outside all summer. We studied those things like they were maps. And they were.

At your daughters age, all she knows is that it feels good and that it has to do with when she grows up and has sex. Should you talk to her about it? Heck yes. My son knows about everything because believe me, they are talking about it at school. I'll be danged if other 10 year olds are going to teach my child the birds and bees.

You don't have to get graphic. But you can just explain that her private parts are something that she will deal with as she is much older. That girls have babies and boys don't and it's okay to know what her body is like and touch things and explore. But that it is only okay for HER to touch them and no one else, ever, until she is an adult. Then you leave it at that. Answer her questions, be open. When they start exploring their body, it's time you to do some 'splaining. I'd take it as a positive that she just outright told you what she is doing--it probably means that she doesn't really know what she is doing. She's innocent about it.

These days kids are growing up way too fast. I started touching myself at 10 years old finding anything to help me get off. At the time I didn't know what it was called exactly but I knew it felt good. I learned by watching Howard Stern and porno shows I found that came on really late at night because I would always go to bed in the early morning. The days we were out of school. It is better she learns what it is from her parents and gets the right and correct idea. Than to get it off of tv, or from someone else. Just talk to her about mas*urbat*on you don't have to talk to her about sex. She mostlikey came to you because she felt comfortable and open enough. If you start to teach her right an tell her that she can always come to you when she ever wants to know something or needs to tell her something, that you will love her no matter what she chooses to do, or how she chooses to be, that you will stick behind her 100% than you have about a 90% chance she will come to you when she starts doing things with guys and you can talk about sex, periods, birth control and everything else so much easier. Thats how my mom raised me and my brothers and I are so open with her. I'll go do things with guys and go tell my mom and she laughs and I dont tell exact details but we have laughs and talk about things and its fun and makes life better. Theres only the fact I still haven't told her im not a virgin.