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More poems

Thunder Robot Asked by funadvice 3 months ago, 18 answers.
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Read then write what you think!!! ♥♥&hearts

Why does it hurt?
Every time our gazes meet,
My heart breaks in half!
I loved him like no other!
He was the one.
I ponder everyday of what could've happend.
He broke my heart.
He's all I can think about at night.
All I have to do is close my eyes,
And there he is.
He's as damned as he seems.
It's like if I tired to save him again,
My world would cave in!
If I could've held on to is laughter,
His love and his care.
I might not be this disaster.
He's soft to the touch and easy on the eyes.
He's so beautiful,
Yet shuch a beautiful diaster.
His eyes so green,
His hairso brown,
His smile so soft,
His laugh so gentle,
He doesn't know the pain I feel inside!
My heart has stopped beating,
My laughter only outward.
I'm crying inside,
And he can't save me now!
My eyes filled with hope and my heart filled with fear!
I put on this smile,
So he cant see,
The pain I feel inside of me.
As he walks by me my eyes fill with tears,
Knowing that the next time we meet,
My heart will fill with fear!
Put on a smile,
Eyes filled with hope,
For another gloomy day,
In this lost boat!!!

Xoxox emo_gurl...

Any comments hit me up!!!

Send this to a friend

creative Answered by sexiismall45 on Apr 11, 2008, 02:31PM
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this poem iz is like no other poem I ever heard
I like it

snake bites Answered by ellissa_hyde on Apr 11, 2008, 02:32PM
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awww its so cute!!! I love it...what happened because I asume that there is some meaning behind it!!! so did you see mine that I just put up todayish

I see.....laundry detergent!! Answered by jello on Apr 11, 2008, 02:32PM
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wow.. *speechless*
your really talanted O_O

mcr Answered by brook1235 on Apr 11, 2008, 02:33PM
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is't really good but if he was the one he would not have broken your heart

gerard way Answered by luvgerard on Apr 11, 2008, 02:34PM
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I like it :-) you are really good at writing poems

Comment for hoppingtime1's profile Answered by pookabear on Apr 11, 2008, 03:13PM
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your great at writing peoms I luv it sis

Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on Apr 11, 2008, 03:21PM
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lol yeah you got a gift for writing keep it up!!!

the beatles Answered by iamcool on Apr 11, 2008, 06:57PM
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Why aren't there this many responses for my poems?
I think you should slow down on the exclaimation points ( a good poem wouldn't need exclamation marks to add emotion, the reader should be able to pick it up.) Also, although poetry needn't rhyme, there does need to be a detectable rhythm or structure.

me dont I look good Answered by kyleelover22108 on Apr 11, 2008, 06:59PM
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OMG thats the best poem ever you really have a gift keep writing its the only way to
get the feelings out trust me... Very good poem

the beatles Answered by iamcool on Apr 11, 2008, 10:08PM
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Why does everyone think this poem is good?! It's nothing less than mediochre, if not no good at all.

I see.....laundry detergent!! Answered by jello on Apr 11, 2008, 11:22PM
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iamcool - well if people like it, thats what makes it good

the beatles Answered by iamcool on Apr 12, 2008, 05:37AM
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That's not true. Many people ( like my maths teacher ) don't like Shakespeare, but that's not saying his poems weren't any good. And if someone presented a really bad poem to their friends, and their friends said it was good, but it clearly wasn't worth reading, would their positive comments make it worthwhile poetry? I don't think so...

I see.....laundry detergent!! Answered by jello on Apr 12, 2008, 02:06PM
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lemme rephrase... if the majority of the intended audience... likes it =P

Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on May 19, 2008, 03:48PM
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lol hey yall... I have a couple of any ones comeing.. but they are a bit different!!!

bleeding rose Answered by your_clebertiy_night_stalker on May 22, 2008, 09:19AM
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man your awesome at writing

Yes the heart is fake. I was bored. :-] Answered by xxjulixx on May 29, 2008, 05:53PM
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You're great. Don't pay attention to the insults. They be hatin'. =p

Answered by fau on Jun 02, 2008, 10:29PM
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iamcool is just jealous
you are a great writer.

Thunder Robot Answered by funadvice on Jun 05, 2008, 01:29PM
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thanx again for the support.. LOL and dont'e hate the player hate the game!!

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