Molestation?

a couple of years.I didn't really have a sexually active mind at nine and ten but when eleven hit!Wow!I started thinking about any kind of sex and by the time of twelve,it got a lot worse.I think the first time I had watched porn was when I was probably...

around seven or eight or maybe a little bit older.Then when I was about twelve or thirteen,I started watching it more and reading incest stories and also rape stories.I don't know if I was molested when I was a litte girl.I even remember trying to make my barbie dolls have sex.I used to have thoughts about being raped.I do however remember when I was about five or six,I distinctly remember on Christmas night,I had a rash down there and my mom of course had to put the ointment on down there.So when she did I all of a sudden said I hope someone touches me right there one day. She just looked at me and told me not to say that. I am 13 and I am a girl,and unfortunately,I am wondering if I was molested. And my psychiatrist diagnosed me with OCD but it's not a severe case.But when I was little,about 4 or 5,it was thunderstorming,and as a little girl as I was,I was frightened to death of thunderstorms and I still am at age 13.And my dad had came over.And every time he comes over,him and my mom,well...let's not go there.But I remember going into their room with them and it was dark and I remember trying to get away and something grabbing my leg. I still wonder if it was a dream but it is ironic how after it,I became very sexualized a year later.I'm a very sexual kid but the thing is that I haven't had sex unless I was raped when I was little.I am practicing abstienecne and a lot of people think that people who think of sex constantly like I do would be sexualy active but I am not at all.104% not. Do you want to know all of the things that I have thought about in the last couple of years? At six,it was my gym teacher,I had a huge crush on him.I would think of him kissing me to dragging me on the floor naked or abusing me sexually,the only thing that I did not think of was him having intercouse with me. At seven it was still the same thing and eight too. At nine,I kind of got over the crush because I found a little boy that was my age that I liked.And even then,I didn't think of sex too much but I did think of having sex with him. The same thing happened at ten. At eleven,the whole thing got worse.I mean WORSE. There was this boy that I liked at middle school and I started thinking of sex with him too.An dI finally got over him and then I started imagining what my marriage would be like.Pure sex. I know or sure that my marriage qill be more than sex but for the time,I think about sex a lot.Eveyr single day.There isn't 1,not 1 day that goes by that I don't think of it and now it is to the point where I imagine that I am married to a guy named Eric and that we have three kids name Riley,Aurora,and Nicolette.And I imagine me and him doing hardcore sex,to romantic sex,to bondage sex,to anal sex,to vaginal sex.I don't imagine threesomes or orgy sex simply because if I get married,I don't want different people trying to have sex with us. I know more things that what my parents know about sex,I could tell them things about it.I could probably even tell you things about it.lol. I watched porn at a young age.I would give an estimate at about nine or ten maybe eleven.But now I have a computer so I Can watch it a lot and read porn stories which I do.I used to watch it on tv.I would stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning watching it. And a lot of people would think that I am sexually active because of this,but I am 104% not.I am being abstienent.Unless I was raped then I am still a virgin because I haven't had sex.But rape and molestation are different. I remember trying to make my dolls have sex ad the weird thing is that when I got a tad bit older,I even made one of the dolls sexually abuse the other and physically abuse it.On Christmas,I told my mom,while she was rubbing ointment down there because I was too little to do it myself,but I told her,distinctly that I hoped someone would touch me there someday.I know that kids shouldn't say things like that.I practically have a porn addiction at 13.I watch it,I read it and the weird thing is that I am not afraid to admit it which could either work in my favor or not. Do you think that I was molested when I was young?

I dont know...could you have been exposed to it at a young age?

No, I don't think you was. I just think you're a little bit obsessed with sex. Maybe you should go have sex now and get it out of your system.

I think you just really want to know what its like. it wont be as fun as you think though. but most people when they are smaller dont think of those thing when they think of sex. you most likely have just gotten into the wrong type of pornography. and by the way, raping and abusing is WRONG! try not to think about that.

wow I think you need some major help...

HOLY SH*T THATS A LONG PAGE!!!

honest to god, I think that you should see a psycologist. Im not saying this mean way or to offend you, but that is deffinately not normal. I think you really need help (and maybe I do to because I just watched the mouse slowly move across the screen without anyone touching it and without the physical mouse moving at all)