Married and wanting to have an affair,a little excitement .like w

Well I#039;ve been married for quite a few years and have 2 kids.Husband is a great guy but I#039;m not in love with him.I don#039;t want to leave my marriage for a number of reasons,kids financial reasons and my family would flip.I#039;m just not...

sexually attracted to my husband.I want some excitment.I#039;ve tried rekindling my love for my husband to no avail.I#039;ve had an affair and enjoyed it but felt really guilty because this other guy got married and his wife got pregant.Now I#039;ve established this close friendship with this guy at work and want to have an affair and he does to but afraid because I#039;m married.Should I follow my heart like the saying goes and go for the affair or just deal with my life the way it is,which isn#039;t really bad.I just want to have some excitement and the feeling of being with someone my age and my interest which this guy is.The age difference between me and my husband is 10 years.Another reason I like tyhis guy is he is sooo cute and very sweet,and innocent seeming.Does this make any since?

no wonder I never got married.. Womanlike you Qball

I'm in the same boat as you... I have many emotions and thoughts flying through my head... and my heart... it's sooo hard!!
I wish that whatever you decide to do.. is the right decision for you...

I say,talk to him about it.if me and my husband were married that long I wouldnt want to ruin it.its been too long.thats like me going up to my b/f and saying hey we've been together 4 a lnog time but I want you to freak me and if you dont its over.its dead wrong.dont rape him but talk 2 him.

sorry you shpuld not do this with your hubby..its really bad..y you r doing affair..if you don't like your hubby then why did you marry him??u should not do cheat with anyone mind it..if your hubby does the same thing how would you feel???m sorry if I hurt you but its really bad...

Don't have an affair you made a promise to your husband that you will love him for as long as you to shall live. Marriage is a sacred thing. God made sex so it could be for two married people. Tell your husband that you would like to do more exciting things and maybe have a date night once a month. by having an affair you could end up getting a divorce and that is such a hard thing to deal with my parents did and it was awful for the whole family.Ask God to help you through this and he will. Start going to a church and build a relationship with the lord. He will help you make the best decision. You can always trust him. Just think how you would feel if your husband was having an affair. Good Luck and God Bless

If you want that feeling, you have to find it within your relationship. It is absolutely wrong to hunt for that feeling with another man.
Ask your husband to help you fulfill your fantasies. Dress up, play games, do soemthing crazy, just no cheating.
It works. TRust me.

Rekindle your fires within yourself. I don't think the problem is your husband at all, I think you may have married because it was the right thing to do instead of marrying because you were madly in love and couldn't picture your life without him. Marriage is merely a lifelong partnership. Its long suffering, not selk seeking, and you become one when you marry someone. Having sexual intercourse with someone other than your husband is merely a temporary appeasement. It doesn't last. So many things can happen...stds, aids, unplanned other children...think before acting. Do some searching within yourself. Self reflection. We as humans are never satisfied. If our hair is curly, we want it straight...if its straight we want it curly. We are either too big, too small, or just not right. Now here you are with a man women would kill for and you're trying to cheat on him! (Not judging you though) but some women would die for their man not to cheat on them! Your boredom can get you in a hell of a lot of trouble and possibly ruin your family. Maybe you guys should seek counseling together. Men do it to us all the time but ultimately the kids are going to pay the price in the end. Now that you have married him, you have to stay and stick it out for thelong run. Buy some sex toys, take stripping classes and do things to build your self esteem. Does your husband tell you how beautiful and sexy you are? Give him a lap dance. Get a hotel and plan a date and act like its your first date with your husband. Imagine if your husband was having an affair on you and saying that you bore him or he is not in love with you anymore. Before you go elsewhere, you have to try sweetheart. A marriage I so serious!

I know this sounds selfish but go with your gut feeling... If the chemistry is there, and all the elements for romance, you should by all means try it.

You never know. If you both like the experience, you may be changing your life's direction. You will never know until you try it.

What matters is your happiness and fulfillment as a woman. If you both lost the spark, maybe it is time to try someone new. Just make sure you and the new guy are on the same page as far as expectations go.

Do weight the consequences of your actions. Nothing in life is easy. If you fall in love with this new guy be prepared to face that reality and be able to explain it to the family when the time is right.

FInal thoughts from Dr. Phil **If you're in a relationship, and you just really don't want to be there, you really want to go run and play, then I'll guarantee you, you're better off to just do that, says Dr. Phil. Don't stay together for the children, because that is no gift to those children. To grow up with parents in an emotionally barren relationship that is defined by deceit, deception, and bitterness — that's not a gift to children. They're much better off with one well-adjusted, happy, thriving parent, than they are with two who are cheating, and lying, and fighting, and living with stress and pressure. **

Think of your children, not your own selfishness!

I never thought I'd even get into this situation, but I have been involved with a man for 2 1/2 years now. We're both married, and we both have children. This man worked with my husband. Our families have even done things together--including going to church together.

I guess me/him were both looking for a little excitement. We met each other one time at a store while I was w/my husband, but then had secret contact through texts/emails, then eventually on the phone. Two months later, I met this man in a hotel room. I was at ease the second he kissed me. I still remember that day like it was yesterday...

This was supposed to be a dare, but it never ended. We've probably been together at least 40-50 times. He did move 1000 miles away from me over the summer, but when he came back to town last month--we hooked up a couple times.

I am SO in love with this man now---I have been for all this time. He feels the same way about me. Due to religious reasons his child, he is struggling--as am I. I KNOW this is wrong, but it feels SO right. He won't walk out on his son--he wants to be with him all the time, and couldn't be if he was divorced.

Our spouses are both very good people--neither deserve this, and believe me--it's HARD to deal with this. Most likely--your marriage will just get worse if you do this because you will be filled with way too many emotions--it's so overwhelming. AND then--if you fall for the lover...you will find yourself only wanting intimacy w/that person and NOT your spouse. This is true for both me and the man I am seeing. We are both hurting and suffering inside.

I can't tell you what to do. As wrong as this is--me/him both talked today about how it's so hard to deal with because we DON'T even regret doing it. We have to live our lives in a daze to get through this. If you develop feelings for your lover, you will forever compare them to your spouse--and you probably won't even want to be with your spouse anymore.

I know some of you think me/him should both leave and be together. Easier said than done. He's gone--not living anywhere near me anymore. It feels RIGHT being together--not just w/sex, but with everything. We really connect in every way. This man sweeps me off my feet, and I just love him. Had he asked me a year or 2 ago to leave for him--I probably would have. Now--I'm not so sure. Even though I love him, I have kids and a husband. He has a child and a wife. We both grew up with a very religious background. We've both been with our partners for over 20 years. We both married people who were are best friends---not people we were passionate with or crazy about. As much as I care for him, I can't keep being so selfish--I could destroy a lot of lives. Sometimes I guess I just wish I could always have totally love, peace and happiness in my life---he makes me feel that way. I am IN love with him in a way that I have never loved anyone else.

Be careful if you decide to do this. Yes--it IS fun and exciting. We have so much passion--it's so HOT. At the same time, we've fallen in love, and it's so beautiful--something it shouldn't be...not if we're both married to other people. And as sneaky as you think you might be--all it takes is for one person to see you, and then your perfect little plan could turn into a huge mess. Me/him think we've been so sly, but he's told a few people--what if one of them tell? What if his wife finds all the letters I wrote him? What if my husband somehow gets into my email? Something could happen. It's one thing to make a decision to leave, but WHAT if you somehow got caught? Your life could change in an instant. MY life could change in an instant, and really---as much as I say I love the other guy...I don't know if I could handle it if everything happened so suddenly.

Good luck to anyone in this situation. Let me tell you from MY experience with this, it's been a VERY tough road. It hurts being so in love with someone yet not being able to have that person. It hurts living with someone you are betraying. I have cried so many tears over the past 2 1/2 years. Some of you will think I deserve to cry...and maybe you're right. This ended up getting so much more emotional than me/him ever thought it would.

It seems so many have forgotten what marriage is, it is not something you do with someone because you fell in love and the sex was great. These are poor and counterfeit reasons to get married if they are the drive behind the decision. Trace the roots of marriage back to the bible, and understand why God put certain rules in place. When traced back through millions of failed relationships, sex before marriage is a key point in disguising a potential mate as The One It gives false readings of emotion, you feel in love with this person you know nothing about. A few years later you realise you have nothing in common and then make a mockery of the sacred vows you took in the church. Holding out on sex in a relationship and giving it the pedastal it deserves is very rewarding, and makes it something you are less likely to take for granted and abuse through mindless lust or internal suggestions of boredom. Sex creates such powerful strongholds in our lives and is the reason for millions of broken lives and relationships. If your lust for sex and excitement with others overpowers your professed love for your partner, then the problem lies within you. Sure its difficult if your partner wont cooperate, but is still not a reason to allow closeness to develop between you and a colleague or that person in the grocery store you always see, this behaviour is unacceptable if you are married. You allow that closeness to develop saying But I wont cross the line she/he is just a very nice person or she/he understands me, or whatever your bulls**treasoning is, you know subconciously how its going to end up, being in a position where you just cant resist. Because as we all know, It feels so good when its like that doesnt it? Bad deal, very nasty business and totally wrong. Out of orderits funny how when we are contemplating cheating sometimes we talk to our friends sometimes like we are children asking if its ok to have a sleepover, we know its wrong, we are just looking for signatures on our petition to make that foul decision we desire to roll with. We have no excuse. The problem should be addressed with your partner in a loving and private way, seeking help from either doctors or counsellors, not some moron you work with who says Go get laid you will feel a lot better, and then people think its ok to Not tell your partner it will only hurt them and they need not know, What a foul attitude that is, masquerading as a caring and loving concealment box, YOU KNOW, and in the end your partner will know, and whether you believe it or not, you stray from your partner of many years, you are literally destroying something sacred you have always had between each other, monogamy. And its not until you lose that, that you realise how relevant and important it was. You start swinging, you will never get out of it, and it will mutate into something more and become a stronghold you can only deal with and never get rid of, just like herpes. We should all take responsibility for our own thoughts and desires, and stop looking for excuses as to why its justified to break our marital vows, and indulge in mindless counterfeit lust. The more you want it, the more you will want it, so if you think you can just enjoy the thrill of wanting it, but never actually do it, you are wrong. If you are married, take your mind out of the gutter, if your partner has a sexual problem, then focus on getting the right attention for it. We all know at the end of the day there is no excuse for adultery, and trhats what everybodys whining is about, looking for the excuse

I say go for it!! You've got nothin to lose!!

wow marriage doesn't mean anything to anyone anymore. affairs are a sad thing. why do people even get married. I think people should read there bibles and get close to God. There's more to life than just good sex. Whatever happened to love...

Sure it makes sense.
It makes lots of sense. If you want this soo bad. Just leave him.

I am a white male and my wife is begging me to have sex with my friend who is black. He and I work out together at the gym and I know he would love to screw my wife. The truth is, I would love for him to ram his massive penis in her. I know she loves me but I do know she would love to be intimate with him. Should I just let her?

simple. tell him you cant have him (makes you want him - trust me.) Yes marriage isnt just about sex. but one of my parents had an affair and it broke down my family.

tell your husband the spark is missing and do something youve never done before with him - rollerblading, sailing, anything which is adventurous for you.

both start to tell things which you didnt believe you could tell him - theyre must be SOMETHING he doesnt know about you (but something personal not sexual.)

Personally im against the concept of cheating mostly because I've been in the recieving end, and seen it break down good marriages and good families.

good luck

Jesus, seems like the best solution is to not get married in the first place. What's the point? I have been engaged twice but can never actually go through with it for the exact senarios mentioned above. I don't want to get bored because I will most likely have an affair and I would rather avoinf the whole damn thing. What a fantastic mess we create for ourselves...

NO! dont do it I beg you. think how your husband would feel. how could you do something to someone that has done nothing wrong. even if he cheated on you you still shouldnt do it to him. may be its just bc of the same thing over and over. you really need to talk to him about this. if you dont love him then you shouldnt be in this marriage. if your worried bout finances then get a job if you already have one get another. if you do it think about all the people you hurt. your cheating on your husband that has loved you and think of your kids. when their grown what are you going to tell them if they ask why you and daddy got a divorce? if you do that you will be looked down upon for a very long time. please...dont do it.

no affairs!
damn it, I'd like to see more than one fu*king relationship go right these days.
theres cheating,and divorices,its all unfaithful.

Are you serious. Its called holy matrimony because thats exactly what it is a holy santion. You sposed to be together death till we part. You already going to burn in hell, for haveing one affair. And if I was the devil I would make it so painful theres not even words for it. I hate people like you who cheat, if you dont love your husband tell him, get a divorce then you can be as much of a slut as you want. think about how you would feel if your husband did the same thing to you, if you were in his shoes and found out. I bet you wouldnt be to happy would you. or if your children found out what there loveing mom was doing behind daddys back. you should be ashamed of yourself. I know that the first date feeling is incredible the nervousness excitement, the addreniline rush, but it will always fade no matter who you end up with in the end. you cant bang everyone forever, theres a point where your wrinked and no man wants a old, wrinkly skank. so I would suggest you think god everyday you wake that you have a loving husband and a good family. and hope he doesn't strike you done.