Long distance relationships

Okay I have gotten myself really tangled up in this... I said no to a long distance relationship once, leaving a guy I truly liked when I went to college and never stopped wondering what could've happened. Now I'm in the same situation with another guy...

and don't know what I should do this time... I can only see him a couple of times per year, but we keep in touch and have become very *very* close. Neither wants to talk about it though because we can't change anything, we're both at college in different states and live in different countries in the summer. It has the potential, but the problem is, I really need somebody HERE with me, to hug me and keep me company, I need love to be close to me, not through the phone. So I've been going out with this local boy, just dancing and hanging out, but it has been developing into more and now we are in this unspoken boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. He expects more but I can't commit because of the thought of the other one... If I could choose, I'd be with the faraway one, as we match a lot better, but the thing is I can't, and the future doesn't look like we'll even be in the same state. I don't want to wait on that forever and be alone with just the thought of him, but if I let it go and choose the one here, the thought won't leave me alone and I feel like I'm cheating on both whichever way I go. I have asked friends for advice but they say different things... I just wanted to see what people on here would say. Please help, I'm really sinking into this mess!

I had a long distance relationship once when I was in high school / then in college, same person. Didn't work out well either time, though at the time I wanted it to. Then years later, my wife I were apart for about six months, and it was rough. However, we were as committed while apart as we were when we were together.

So, I guess I'd say if the guy that's further away is more of what you want, and that's what you're dreaming of...then perhaps it'll work out. In either case, I strongly believe that irregardless, we all end up with who were supposed to, so if you're heart is telling you the local boy isn't for you, then he probably isn't. Good luck.

I think you shoud let your heart decide which guy is the right one for you. You can never ever be able to handle the both of them emotionally, and even if you think you are just using the local one temporarily you will get so confussed you will never be able to describe your feelings for the far-away bf which you connect more with. Its not easy, but try to make up for all the time you missed him whenever you get the chance to do so.Remember that distance in a relationship doesnt matter as long as the space between is filled with love it's filled will love

I think you should follow you heart but bring your gut along with it.
Yes, along distance relationship sucks but like you said the local boy doesn't feel the same.

Let your heart decide. You heart is blind, it can only feel and cannot see. Do what you think is best. Are you and him prepared to take on the stress of not being able to see each other but once in a while. Will it be worth it. Does he feel and think the same as you and would he let you down?

I had an long distance relationship - first true love. He said he'd never hurt me and loved me and things. I went to visit him after him coming through to my home town to pick me up. Came home still inlove. It wasn't long before I got the excuses whenever I phoned him. I eventually asked him whats the problem and he said its the distance its not going to work. So all that emotion he showed me was fake or was felt but reality got the better of him. Obviously he didn't feel as strong as he thought he had.

Be careful.

Let your heart decide. You heart is blind, it can only feel and cannot see. Do what you think is best. Are you and him prepared to take on the stress of not being able to see each other but once in a while. Will it be worth it. Does he feel and think the same as you and would he let you down?

I had an long distance relationship - first true love. He said he'd never hurt me and loved me and things. I went to visit him after him coming through to my home town to pick me up. Came home still inlove. It wasn't long before I got the excuses whenever I phoned him. I eventually asked him whats the problem and he said its the distance its not going to work. So all that emotion he showed me was fake or was felt but reality got the better of him. Obviously he didn't feel as strong as he thought he had.

Be careful.

Follow-up - the drama untwisted, if you guys want to hear about it.

First of all, thank you all for the advice. I should've been more careful, I guess my wish to make the long-distance thing work blinded me. It turned out that even though he liked me too, he only saw me as an escape destination for vacations and occasional visits, and didn't want anything serious. I told him how I felt and he said he hadn't expected me to really fall for him (yeah after all the paper letters and romantic weekends). He didn't really know how to react. Said that he'd been hurt way too many times before so didn't want relationships anymore, and saw our thing as a dream where you escape from the world from time to time but then you have to go back and wake up. My goodness... how do I walk away after this kind of statements? He's the sweetest thing but my problem is that I want to wake up and STILL find him there - which as I found out is impossible. So we parted. I don't know if we'll see each other again. It was a beautiful dream and like all dreams it ended.

Reality isn't as marvellous but I'm happy with the local boy. If you can't be with the one you want, want the one you're with. I've scaled down my expectations, for now, and am fine. Until I feel the need to dream again...

Moral of the story: figure out what you want *and* whether it matches your partner's wants BEFORE you sell your heart out. Talk it through and be clear on where you stand. Dreams are wonderful but know that sooner or later they will end, so have somebody to wake up next to when they're over.

Distance Shouldnt Matter If You Love SomeOne Right?
Plus Distance Would Only Make Your Love Stronger
Hop that Helped
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