Job transfer/confused

ok this is kinda long....to give some background when I first met Jake he chased after me for a first date...I didnt even give him my number. He ended up calling my work for it. He also drove all the way down to Tennesse from Ohio, called off work, everything just to visit me for two days...and I had only known him for two weeks! we weren't even dated! so I decided to date him...he seriously swept me off my feet. he was always there...to help, to talk, anything. He told me from the beginning we "clicked" so he had to keep calling me. I know he really only liked one girl before, and he told me he hasn't felt thisway about a girl in a long time...so I knew that was a compliment. Not only that but to be Jakes girlfriend he must really like you b/c he doesn't just consider a girl a girlfriend without really appreciating and respecting her~He is the greatest boyfriend I've ever had! The only problem seemed to be was I was just starting college and he just graduated. So it was a bit of a long distance relationship but just an hr drive so not too bad. Also, we knew his job was eventually going to transfer him but we didn't really talk about it. At one point he wanted to quit his job to stay in Columbus so he could be near me but I told him not to do that...to wait it out. So a few months go by and one night he calls me out and spills out his heart. He said "you are the sweetest girl I've ever met...seriously. I like you sooo much he goes on to say "sometimes when a guy has a really good girl they get scared and do stupid things, when they know its stupid" I didn't quit understand thisbut he told me he didn't expect me to understand. I knew with his past gfs (only two serious relationships) he had been dicked over. his first girlfriend was of three years...he ended up not taking scholarships to colleges like cornell and harvard to stay in columbus and go to community college for his girlfriend, who ended up dumping him. I knew this really affected him and his trust for others. Well, I ended up coming home the next weekend and we had the best night ever the first nite...we talked all night and I left his house feeling I know were falling in love. However, the next night he ends up not calling at all or returning my calls. Two days later while at school he called and said "I'm sorry for what I did, I just realized how close I was getting to you, I got scared and pulled away bc I know my job may be transfering soon." Well, I forgave it...I understood...and its the first incident we ever really went through that was that bad. I asked him if he still wanted to get closer and he said of course. Well the next month was fine but then he called again and said he didn't want to go farther bc he was going soon. He had recieved transfer papers asking him to sign if he would be willing to transfer for a better promotion and he said he couldn't sign them while with me bc he couldn't...he didnt want...and I changed his mind b/c I was pretty outspoken about how I didn't want him to leave. Well it was hard...and I tried to talk to him by going to his work, which didn't work out. But he ended up talking to me and telling me you are taking this too personally...its nothing about you...I like you a lot, I don't want to be in this sitaution, I feel so guilty, if I weren't leaving I would be with you...however we didn't know where he was going. He ended up calling me one morning spilling hisheart out about he didn't want to leave, and they may be a job in dayton and he wants to be with me. Well, a two weeks went by and we talked once and nothing new had happened and I could tell he was getting frustrated with me because I constantly wanted to know ifhe missed me and he was likeyou know how I feel I told you how I feel. so the next week I call him from my sisters cell phone and a girl picked up the phone and basically told me "jakes not here...and I'm his girlfriend" so I was like "so whats your name" and she said "Amber" (which is my name...and it was like she was pretending, almost mocking me)so I call my friend who called and she said she was Amber to my friend. So my friend told me to call from my phone to see if she told me she was Amber, Jakes girlfriend...so I call and ask for jake and she nicely says he isn't here...and I asked who she was and she she "I'm just one of his friends...dont worry" and I said well would you tell him Amber called and she again nciely said "sure no problem". So I figured she was just a tipsy girl pretending to be me since she said my name in a mocking way, and when I first called as "nobody" she was a b*tch and when I was "Amber" she was sweet and nice. So I called Jake later and asked him to text me or call me about what was up with his job and to see whothat girl really was...and he hasn't called back! I know that Jake holds highstandards about no cheating and I really doubt she was his new girlfriend...b/c he wouldn't get a new girlfriend before he has to leave...and I do know that he told me he would call when he finally knew about his job...his final decision. Some of my friends think I am going crazy since I am sooo worried...they tell me I need to lay off b/c he has told me since we've been on this break that he misses me, wants to be with me, and doesn't want to leave. they tell me to give him his space..and that this is just as hard on him...probably worse. I know hes a great guy but why the hell cant he just give me an update??? does he just not want to talk to me b/c I tend to bring up us all the time and how much I miss him...and theres no new news to be talked about??? I'm sooo confused. I'm thinking sooo hard into this too b/c he once talked to some girl for like three weeks before he met me and he realized he didn't like "like" her so he just stopped talking to her...so does he hate me now??? I think I'm going crazy...help. (sorry about the long story)

It sounds like you have been very understanding about his insecurities while he has not been very considerate about creating insecurity in you.

You were right telling him to take the transfer; he could have ended up resenting you if you had told him to stay.

A long distance relationship is hard, but not impossible. Time will give you the answer to that one--unless he decides to ditch it ahead of time, to 'save' himself some hurt. And the strange thing is, it won't save either of you any hurt.

Your willingness to understand where is comes from is admirable. His unwillingness to understand where you are coming from is not. Even with all the 'excuse insecurities,' he just isn't treating you very well right now. And that should not be okay with you.

Call him one more time and tell him that you look forward to him calling you once he KNOWS what is happening with his company and that you will go on and live your life until then. Then do that. I'm not saying it will be easy, I'm saying it will feel right and allow you to keep your self-respect in tact, while showing him you desire respect back from him.

Then back off. You can't control him into calling you. All that will do is alienate him.

Good luck! Blessings