Is my mind blowing relationship all a lie? (continued)

To continue with my heart breaking online relationship, I would like to immediately point out that I have begged this guy to please, please, please call me for an entire year straight. He always makes up an excuse, such as: "I'm shy..." "I don't have a phone..." "My friend's phone is broken. Sorry love..."

Anyway, thank you to those of you who took the time to read my work of venting distress, but believe me... when I say I am in love with the boy, I really do mean it with everything that is left of me. I would die for him!
I cannot tell you how many times I have met a cute guy, then turned him down, because he is not the boy that I love...

His name is Alex. He and I know EVERYTHING there is to know about each other. We are so close with each other, that we are even sometimes able to read each other's minds. I know how ridiculous this entire online/long distance relationship thing is, and I know it sounds impossible to love someone you have never before met. But I know I am in love. I have never felt this way towards anyone before. I have been infatuated, obsessed, had a crush, etc. But this..this is different. I am literally attached to Alex, and he, I.
Everyday he tells me that he loves me and that I am so beautiful and perfect. He told me that he thought he could never love anyone, because of his disgustingly abusive father. But that I completely blew him away. If I leave him, I later find out from his friend John (Who he is staying with), that Alex is dying because he has nothing left to live for...

I'm pretty sure this is an emotional roller coaster ride from hell.
All I want is to be with Alex!
He says that he is going to fly over here and marry me (This saturday).

Anyway, now for the reasons why I believe he is really just this girl named "Jen"
Jen had a myspace once. She was really pretty, and would always brag about how popular she was. Eventually I figured out that this was just a front. I found her real myspace, and questioned some of her friends. I confirmed that the jen she posed to be, was all FAKE.
When I called her that night, She cracked. She told me that she was sorry, and that she was afraid I would never accept her because she wasn't as pretty as me. She also told me (in 5 minutes) that at first, I had only talked to the real Alex for half of the time, and that the rest was her. Then a minute later she said that I only talked to the real Alex in the very beginning. After that, she exclaimed that Alex was all made up. And finally, that she lied, and Alex really was real.

...I was literally confused...crushed..., and left crying for days...

Eventually, because of my understanding nature, I forgave Jen. I told her that I believed her when she said that Alex was really real, and that the reason why she lied was because she didn't want Alex hurting me anymore.

I have no idea of what to do...
I am so depressed it's unbelievable! I just feel this complete emptiness inside, like I was robbed of my heart and soul. It hurts so much to think that someone would create such a sick yet amazing and clever lie. (Jen is only 15 years old!!)

I'm not suicidal. I have never believed in that. Nor do I plan on cutting myself or starving myself. That would just be pathetic and weak. But I must admit, that I have been hurt to the point where I don't want to do anything anymore. I just lie in bed for hours, and stare at the ceiling. I try my hardest not to think of Alex, but he was literally my life. Imagining myself living without him...kills me. I lose all motivation for everything.

I told my mom what I was going through (I barely tell her anything), and she doesn't understand why I just cut off all communication with this "psycho girl and her imaginary people that she created."

I guess I'm just in denial, but I am also wanting to hear her confession. I want to know the truth.
What if he really is real? If I leave, I will lose the love of my life forever. Whenever I tell Alex how I feel, he threatens to leave me because I don't trust him. (The guy wont even tell me where he is staying!)

If anyone wants to start an online relationship, FORGET IT. Steer clear!
Or you will be trapt forever in a hopeless case of love, like me...

I will be writing a book about this. So if you're interested in hearing my story, keep in touch. This is only just the top layer of dust ontop of the real hidden truth...

When you feel attached to someone like you do it can be really hard to let go of but you already know the answer to your question. First of all he is not calling you; and one of the hardest lesson I ever had to learn was that the boy who does not call is not that interested. Go hang out with your friends, clean your room, join a group, do anything but pay attention to him. If he loves you like you claim to love you he will call. There can be no relationship until he gives you back what you give him and that at the very least merits a call. It is going to be hard not to contact him because you are addicted to the happiness that it brings you to talk to him. Just resolve not contact him. In time either he will find a way to talk to you and you will not have to worry at all about whether he is who he says he is or you eventually get over it. I was in a situation sort of like this although not quite as tangled the best thing is find something else to occupy your time. Hope that helps.

I have to say, that your situation is tragic and I can only hope that you're able to recover from this in the future. You have to understand that in almost everyone's definition of love, there's honesty. If this boy is lying and won't fess up to it, he doesn't love you. You need to accept that fact before anything else. You need to make yourself believe there is NOTHING to gain from this, not just because of the circumstances (online, distance, etc...) but because the right emotions for both sides aren't really there. You may love him, your feelings may be genuine; I fully believe that you can fall in love with anyone despite having met them or being able to have them physically before you.

If he threatens to leave you because of how you feel, that's not love. He's scared. He has a serious issue with his confidence and self-esteem. It's a sign that something isn't right. If he cares, give him an option to prove that: since he makes excuses for not calling you ask him to take a picture of himself with a sign that says what his name is or something more personal that only the two of you would understand. If he can do that, and it checks out, you've proven that it really is HIM and not this girl you spoke of. If not, well then you know he's not real.

I've been through a situation exactly like this, and there is nothing pleasant for either side. Don't focus so much on what was lost; you have to keep reminding yourself that somthing is wrong with this person, that they need to seek help and it has nothing to do with you or what kind of person you are.

His claims of abuse are more than likely cries for attention. His father may be ruthless, but not to the extremes that this boy is making claims of. When people get starved for attention, they'll do whatever they need to to get someone to care for them or show them some sort of attention whether it be good or bad.

If he is a she, you have to know that this person's already realized this relationship will go no further than it has. Ask yourself questions: what happens if he is really this Jen girl? Will you still love her? Would you be willing to be in a relationship with her? Could you salvage anything from this in the aftermath? If you can't say yes to those questions, you can't subject yourself to putting anymore effort into uncovering the truth and staying in this person's life. Then ask yourself more questions: what if he is really this Alex? Is it possible to still be able to trust him? Will he be able to trust you? Could you salvage anything in that case? Whatever case ends up true, they need help and until they get it they will never be able to function in any sort of relationship as a normal person would; with honesty, compassion, reasoning etc.

While I feel for your situation, I have to say that one bad apple doesn't mean the rest are bad as well. Online is a risk; you never know who you're really talking to. It's all entirely trust. But that doesn't mean there can't be a success later on somewhere else. Of course, online/long distance relationships aren't the ideal type of relationship but that doesn't mean they can't be as fulfilling as one with someone who lives down the street from you. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to undermine your situation and make it out to be no big deal (because it is a big deal and you've suffered what no one should have to). I'm merely saying don't let one bad situation ruin chances for you in the future.

I hope your book goes well (I believe I commented that question before I knew the story, but from reading this I think you have an excellent write on your hands). Also, if you're in need of someone to talk to or complain to I'm offering. Listening is a favorite of mine.

Good luck and best of wishes =]

You're not alone in this...I am going to mail you.