Is my boyfriend controlling?

Our relationship hasnt been the smoothest of relationships. Even from the onset he has been very jealous and protective of me, something I am not used to. I was in a relationship before him for 4.5 years, but because of different interests and goals we...

didn't work out. My current boyfriend seems very giving with money and is always thinking about things I would like, but I don't feel like he necessarily thinks about the way I feel. Like when we fight, he will swear at me, tell me I don't listen to him ever, that he doesn't care. In the middle of talking things through,he will randomly just stop and say whatever, or walk away from me. He's called me stupid in an argument on more than one occasion. He says its because I dont think, or I make things up in my head. Sometimes I get repetitive, or will ask about teh same issue more than once. He gets very frustrated with this, and I don't find he is ever very reassuring with me. I have some examples I would like to give:
He is in debt, much more debt than what I am in.however, I love swimming and children, and used to do synchronized swimming. I decided since I loved doing it so much I thought I would be a volunteer coach, however the training would cost me traelling money and 160 dollars for the course. He thought it was a waste of money that I was spending on this only to volunteer and get nothing out of it. I feel like he was missing the point of me giving my time and money, the gain from running the program was not meant to be measured by money but through the aspect of giving and using my creativity. Another more recent example is I went tanning only twice in the last week. I enjoy it simply because I am locked up in a little hole of an office with no outside windows, and in the summertime I hardly went outside only when he felt like swimming or doing something. (otherwise if I swam without him while he was around, and after I had invited him and he said no, he would get upset and want to leave). So last night, after I went tanning he got upset with me, said he thought it was fake and bad for my health and he didn't like people who did that. He said I was turning into everything he doesn't like, because I sometimes wear a little make up, I get my hair done every 3 months or so and I go tanning. I do these things for myself, not for anyone else. But he gets upset which makes me not want to do it.
One final example is my friends. I have had a great group of friends from highschool, one of my best friends was a guy who was like a brother to me. I tried explaining this to my current boyfriend, but he was convinced that my best friend liked me. The problem with this is that, my best friend would call me at night to talk or email me often. The reason why this was happening was the girl he loved, more than anything in the world, had left and moved away and he needed someone to rely on that he could trust. That person was me, which explains these phone calls. My boyfriend ignored these facts, and did not want me to visit my friend without him accompanying me, because he didnt trust my best friend. The last I checked, I was a person with my own values and opnions, so I felt he was moreso not trusting me. I spent the entire summer trying to schedule visits and things, but they fell apart due to other tentative plans which the cancellation of both the visits to my friend and the trip my boy and I were supposed to go on got cancelled. So I felt punished. At the end of the summer, two other girls who were in my gang of best friends and I all had the same weekend off, and we missed our best friend. So we decided to take a road trip together to see him. My boyfriend, when I told him I was going since when I asked him if he was alright with it told me he would break up with me if I went, got very upset. He begged me not to go, he got mad and punched the wall (and put a hole in it) but he didn't break up with me. He yelled at me, cried and tried everything. But in the end I went. On the drive there I texted him, and that night while I was having one drink with my friends he was constantly texting me. My friends got so frustrated with me that they took my phone away, and I didn't fight it. The next morning I called him to say goodmorning, and I argued with him for 30 minutes about not texting him enough. By that point I had had enough! All summer I had spent pleasing him, listening to him yell at me when I did something he disagreed with, allowing him to call me stupid when he was mad, trying to be nice and understanding when he would get upset with me about not eating dinner with him when we didn't have plans or doing what I wanted. So I broke up with him that day, and enjoyed my time with my friends. That night I flirted a little with some random guy, got drunk and just joined in with my friends. I had fun, but when I went home he was persistent. He came to my work, took me to my doctor's and kissed me. He told me he was there for me, he was sorry and wanted to make things work. And I believed him, his intentions and gave him another chance.
The thing is that I feel like everything I do I have to answer to him- and generally unless its synchro or scrapbooking or going to the gym or hanging with just the girls, he disapproves. Like I have depression, and he didn't want me to go on anti depressants. When I did go on them, he said he would break up with me or that he wouldnt be as affectionate with me. When I felt I wanted to go to therapy to treat my anxiety/depression he called it emotional cheating and didn't want me to go. It wasnt until our short break up that he changed his mind.
I feel like I am crazy sometimes, because he does think of me by buying things for me or spending time with my famiyl and I, taking care of our kitten. I don't live with him, but he continually asks me. I love the idea of it and think about it often and we talk about it, but I always say we aren't ready. He gets mad at me now if I talk about it, and says I am teasing him.
I just feel like this rollercoaster has too many ups and downs. Is he controlling, or am I oversensitive? When we argue, I feel like he blames me for everything and he feels like I blame him. When I try to tell him how I feel, he gets frustrated.
What should I do? Is my boyfriend controlling?

Oh my god. OK, I will read this after I eat.

Anytime you say My boyfriend is controlling, that is a red flag to me.

Get out of the relationship before it get's anyworse. People like that don't change. They have their own personal issues from past things and you can not make them a different person.

Get out before he turns physical.

That is quite harsh... However, the fact that fighting is involved and whatnot. I would have to agree in this case .

Ok, yes he is totally controlling and has a temper issue. You did good on breaking up with him, even if you gave him another chance, cause maybe that made him realize that he can lose you if he keeps acting like that. You haven't said if he has gotten like before or anything so everything seems alright, and I hope it stays that way but if he comes back to the way he was it's better to end it forever and don't give him another chance even if he comes begging and crying and is persistent cause he will do the same. In this case it's only once chance, if he screw it up then it's over. good luck and don't ever let him control you, do whatever you want.

your situation is just like mine... I am going through one right now. I have no guy friends,I dont talk to my best friend, my girl friends ignore me now.he swears at me all the time.Every possible swear words...I have heard it. one time he nearly threw me against the fence..why? because I said my friend is not stupid. he called me names so many times that I feel like I am an example of those names. I am so scared of him. But I cant seem to leave him.
he talks to his girl friends all the time and if anyone calls me... he tells me that I am doing somethin behind his back and to go F*^ others.

Im in slightly the same situation .
My boyfriend tells me he doesn't like when I drink without him because it makes his stomach feel like its in knots, so I respect that and dont drink without him there .
But tonight I was invited to go hang out with a friend and have a few drinks, I declined the invitation. When I got home I called my boyfriend and told him how I was invited to go hang out and have a few drinks and his voice got alittle irritated, and he said he was going to go. I texted him and asked if he was okay , he said he was fine. So we just continued to text and I asked what he was doing, he said he was hanging out with some friends and drinking .. im furious at this point . Because he just got mad at the fact that I even mentioned drinking without him .
I don't know if hes controlling , or am I just being rediculous?
Its kinda like he wants to do whatever he wants, but when it comes to me doing stuff, it puts knots in his stomach .
I don't know what to do... ?
help.