Is this a crush?

I have not liked boys in 10 years, but I have ALWAYS been sexually attracted to Females.
I have had much experience with both.

Now I think I like this girl, lets call her Carly.

I am not sure if I like her, since, I am 18 now and it is hard to remeber how I felt when I 'had a crush' when I was younger. I am not sure if the feeling when your crushing changes with age.

At times when I am near Carly I am ver excited (in more ways then one), and very happy. I always miss her and think about her, and happy just thinking about her now. I do not blush or get giggly when I used to like people though.

Other times I feel we are just friends, just best friends.

Although, I waited 2 1/2 months to kiss her (closed mouth). She is VERY shy, but I waited patiently. Which is weird for me, since, with girls who are just my friends we just kiss for fun...and if we dont, I kinda bug them and try to presude them to it.

I took it slow for Carly.

When I am not around her I feel...it feels weird since she has been so close to me.
In my dreams when we kiss or makeout I get horny, to tell it to you bluntly. But when we had our first kiss there were no sparks...

But there can just be 'sparks' when Im walking beside her.

I know what lust is, since I experience it quiet often, and I do not think it is it.

It sounds to me like you have very strong friendship feelings for her but are also attracted to her. Good for you for feeling this one out slowly.

It's a bit concerning that you said you usually try to pursuade girls to kiss and be intimate with you. As a lesbian (which is sounds like you are), messing and falling for straight girls and trying to get sexual with them is just asking for pain and hurt and disaster. So I'd be aware of your tendency to do that and stop it however you can. It can only hurt you.

As for Carly, I think the best thing to do in this situation is tell her what you're feeling, your confusion. You have to decide if you value her more as a friend or if you really want to try to get into something romantic. If it doesn't work out, you will probably lose her friendship.

Friendship is more important and rarer to find than a lover. But maybe you and Carly can come to and understanding that your friendship is too valuable to risk losing and she can have a hand in making sure you two do not cross that line. You need to sort your feelings out.

Good luck. Friendship is hard to find.

I never said those girls were straight, they are BI. I do not mean I 'make them' do stuff with me, just tease them a little...but nothing mean.

I do want to presue something with Carly though. She is my first G/F, and I know she really likes me.

I think you and 'Carly' have an extremely close relationship. have you ever thought that this possibly could be more of an emotional connection more then your usual physical attraction? I say give it time...you may not feel sparks when you kiss her and ow but over time you may. be patient with her...but at the same time let her know how you feel...if you need something she should be there to give it to you...hope this helps =] casey

Aww thanks.

Well I think it is diffrent then my normal Physical Attraction. I know she likes me, and I think I like her.

It is weird since, in one moment I feel I like her a lot, and then in anouther I fee we are friends.

Isnt that Weird?

have you eva thought that maby uz are best friends AND lovers. like me and my partner we are lovers and best friends. and I tell you it is the best thing for a relationship. I say give it tym she will c*m round I fink uz 2 really like each other and like you sed shes shy and if your her first then it is going to take her tym to get close to you. a little bit more advice dont pressure her into doing enything straught away because she might think thats all your intrested in. good luck babe xx