Interracial dating problems

I#039;m a white female and have just started dating an African American man. I#039;ve never been happier, except all my friends in my typical little Midwestern hamlet seem a little miffed.

I like my friends, but I sort of knew, going into this that...

there would be some problems. I can#039;t say for sure that anyone is being explicitly racist, because they haven#039;t said anything, but the look on their faces say it all.

I haven#039;t told my mom as yet either, since I know that she would probably explode. What can I do? I dont want to lose this guy, he is everything to me, and me to him. We#039;ve planned out our future together, I just need to know how I can confront the issue with friends and family.

well, i myself am a white female dating a black male going on 1 year..he loves me and i love him. My dad freaked out when he found out which i knew he would. I just couldnt break off a relationship b/c of the color of someones skin. me and my dad are still fighting about it and i know he may never except it. all i can say is love isnt ment to be easy but,if you know your happy with that person than let u and him be happy. the truth is biracial dating is not a issue and it is not wrong. People make it an issue. its thier problem not ours.

Whether or not your interracial marriage will face additional stress and strain than other marriages depends greatly upon your families and the community where you decide to live.

If your interracial marriage is having difficulties, don't assume that the problem is based because of your racial differences. Here are some coping strategies to help deal with issues that could be hurting your interracial marriage relationship.

Do follow what you feel and truly believe in your hearts.

Do not let what others think about your marriage worry you.

Do show mutual respect for one another and for one another's cultures. If your differences are creating problems for you, brainstorm together for some solutions.

Do keep your sense of humor alive.

Do remain realistic about your differences and about what you have in common.

Do not ignore your differences thinking that they will just go away. They won't disappear because you don't talk about them.

Do work on bringing your families together.

Do not defend your parents if they try to interfere in your marriage. Take a stand together and set boundaries.

Do help your children to understand and be proud their mixed racial identity.

Do avoid those who disapprove of your marriage. You don't deserve or need that type of negative energy in your lives.

http://www.interracialfriends.com/

I am a black male and me and my white gf have been dating for a year and a half now truly and simply if you love each other and if you guys are happy then thats all that matters no any color or sterotype so just close your ears and open your heart.

umMmMm WhY CANt YAlL STAy WIt YAlL RAC3??
YALL SAY BLACK PPL AR3 NO GUD!!!
SO UM WHY YALL 2G3TH3R??

Wow. There are way too many people writing posts when they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. First of all, I'm a teacher. I have 5 children in my room who are bi-racial. They have no issues related to the fact that they are bi-racial. Before anyone posts anything concerning this, you might want to try to validate your point before you expect people to believe it. Second, I'm in an interracial relationship. I've had many people question it, but the most important thing is my boyfriend and I haven’t questioned it at all. Let people believe what they want. At the end of the day, I'm happy, and they are still miserable looking for more ways to complain.

I, for one, cannot believe the some of the outpouring of racism on this thread, or blatant stereotypical slurs. The above post is but one example - referring to an african american person as it, or nigs and suggesting they would kill the baby. This sort of talk simply isn't on, it certainly has no place here on funadvice and I hope an Advisor will lock this thread before too long before any more outrageous and offensive comments get posted.

I for one believe that if anyone has a problem with people from one race marrying another, it is their problem to deal with, not yours. You cannot help who you fall in love with, and race should be the last thing to be worried about. If you don't care, in time everyone around you won't care either. Do what makes _you_ happy, not what makes everyone around you happy.

Guys, this thread is FOUR YEARS OLD. Let it die in peace...

All the more reason why it should be locked...

Hmm...If you really want to be with this guy, then be with him! If Family Friends Love you, they should be able to accept it, remember, yyou're dating him, not everyone else. My parents are interracial, I'm half white and half black, my mother is white and my father is black, and they went through problems, But that comes with every relationship. Same with me and my fiance, he is half white and half black also, So yea People are going to talk stare and things like that, but is it worth losing your relationship over nonsense like that? Good Luck Honey 3 Hope My advice helped =]

well, even though this thread is over five years old, people keep coming to it and posting so I will too. I actually read through all this nonsense too.

okay, well, I have a bone to pick with stars:
you can argue that bi-racial children have no chice, but think about this : a child of any color has no choice. for example: perhaps a white child wishes they were some other color because they are sick of how many whites have treated other races. perhaps they wish to be another color, to suport that color/race, because they are sick of white supremacy crap. (Im white btw)

and let me tell you Stars! two people I have a lot of love for are bi-racial People. One is half black and half mex, the other is half mex, half white. oh, and I forgot one that is half black and half french.They do not feel bad about it. It means nothing when it comes to society! They could be any color and they would be just as popular, just as smart, just as sweet and kind. Of course there are advantages and disavatages. But there always is for every single race!

the guy I like is half mex and white. Stars implys that because they are half and half, their life will be hard.

also, another of my friends parents are philipinno and white. no problem with that!

but, who would dissagree with the fact that there will always be problems? and do you want to know why? because people cannot accept it!

here, listen to this!:

Tiger Woods! oh what a brilliant golfer! hes black, okay , okay some people accept it easily, some grudgingly, but still, hes bomb? right!
okay here it comes: white wife ... and shes pregnant! or was, at least.
what now Tiger should be ignored because he is in love with a white woman? okay, so the people who accepted Him easily will be extremly happy that he has someone and that they can start a family and be all happy and stuff. but, those who accepted him only grudgingly or not at all will dissagree with this. they will not like it. those people need to get over themselves. what? a great golfer cant be happy with the person he loves?

and what is with the kkk? BS!
more like Krazy Killers Klub! absolute bs!

as for me, I dont know who im going to marry. my parents are slightly racist, more my dad though, but im not going to be all rebelious and just go out with another colored man just to rebel, no I will go out with him because I want to. he could be of any color as long as im happy. wether black, white, asian, mexican and anything else, including mixed peoples. the one I like and really want to be my boyfriend is half white and half mex. its my choice, I want to be happy with who im with. I want to be treated right. and I want to show the world that love prevails!

I have a sad, heartbreaking story about an interracial relationship. I am a black female, now before I start I want to point out the black-female, white male relationships are okay as long as your with the right white man that loves you for you. As im telling it I'm a 21 year old black female, I just broke with my 19 year white male boyfreind about 3 months ago. What made our relationship unique is the fact that I'm from a city and he's raised in the country. He's in the Army has never really been attracted to black girls before or ever really had any relationship expereince. I have had one or two relationships that did'nt go far but when I met him and got to know him over time, I found myself at 21 in love for the first time in my life. He started out sweet, and not sweet just as *money wise*, I could care less if he bought a lot or a little, just as long as he kept being kind to me.. He had a phone situation and stopped calling as much, but less and less.. He would start making petty comments about my hair, and asking me why wasn't it worn down more. He became rude to my mother always asking if the silverware was clean to eat with, after she embrassed him, never caring about his skin-color. This was our first Christmas together and he din't bring me anything, depsite the rolled up 20's he had in his glove compartment. On top of that he din't even wish me Merry Christmas or appologize for not buying me something, or even a singe rose. He never introduced to me his family, Christmas was the date we set for me to meet them. He had gradually turned bitter on his own. He felt that I was not good enough to take around his family because Im black.. He felt I wasnt worth calling or bringing a gift to because im black; had he had a white girlfreind he'd be with her every step of the way. I broke up with him of course and just as I figured, it din't bother him much. When he was confronted over having issues with my race, he denied it.. But I know that's what it was, because even though he's still single ever woman he is trying to talk to is white, their all white.. He acts as if I never existed and we were dating for 6 months.. He dint bother to tell me that my skin color wasn't good enough when we used to have sex.. He never bothered to tell me that it wasnt good enough when he was always saying I love you. I kind of feel left in the dark on this one, because I realize he was never going to be true to me, he was using me for sex. It's scary how your heart can open to the wrong person and your left not knowing where you stand as far as ever finding a real person with good intentions. He masked his dirty motives very well, and I'll never, I mean never fall for anyone as less they've said I do.. Im serious... I'm a hard working student, I din't have time for that. What gives him the right to look down on me? It deeply hurts like a knife in my heart, but it dosen't reflect the way I feel about myself, it only teaches me to be more selective and to really look at people, before you open your heart to them...

*Key is, just because it's interracial dosen't mean it's true love

I have a sad, heartbreaking story about an interracial relationship. I am a black female, now before I start I want to point out the black-female, white male relationships are okay as long as your with the right white man that loves you for you. As im telling it I'm a 21 year old black female, I just broke with my 19 year white male boyfreind about 3 months ago. What made our relationship unique is the fact that I'm from a city and he's raised in the country. He's in the Army has never really been attracted to black girls before or ever really had any relationship expereince. I have had one or two relationships that did'nt go far but when I met him and got to know him over time, I found myself at 21 in love for the first time in my life. He started out sweet, and not sweet just as *money wise*, I could care less if he bought a lot or a little, just as long as he kept being kind to me.. He had a phone situation and stopped calling as much, but less and less.. He would start making petty comments about my hair, and asking me why wasn't it worn down more. He became rude to my mother always asking if the silverware was clean to eat with, after she embrassed him, never caring about his skin-color. This was our first Christmas together and he din't bring me anything, depsite the rolled up 20's he had in his glove compartment. On top of that he din't even wish me Merry Christmas or appologize for not buying me something, or even a singe rose. He never introduced to me his family, Christmas was the date we set for me to meet them. He had gradually turned bitter on his own. He felt that I was not good enough to take around his family because Im black.. He felt I wasnt worth calling or bringing a gift to because im black; had he had a white girlfreind he'd be with her every step of the way. I broke up with him of course and just as I figured, it din't bother him much. When he was confronted over having issues with my race, he denied it.. But I know that's what it was, because even though he's still single ever woman he is trying to talk to is white, their all white.. He acts as if I never existed and we were dating for 6 months.. He dint bother to tell me that my skin color wasn't good enough when we used to have sex.. He never bothered to tell me that it wasnt good enough when he was always saying I love you. I kind of feel left in the dark on this one, because I realize he was never going to be true to me, he was using me for sex. It's scary how your heart can open to the wrong person and your left not knowing where you stand as far as ever finding a real person with good intentions. He masked his dirty motives very well, and I'll never, I mean never fall for anyone as less they've said I do.. Im serious... I'm a hard working student, I din't have time for that. What gives him the right to look down on me? It deeply hurts like a knife in my heart, but it dosen't reflect the way I feel about myself, it only teaches me to be more selective and to really look at people, before you open your heart to them...

*Key is, just because it's interracial dosen't mean it's true love

interracial is a beautiful thing. bi-racial children seem to have a great grade of hair, seriously, one girl I know her hair is nappy like blacks, but long like white, so its long and wavy, its so awesome.

I know they are your friends and all but f**k them if they cant except that you with a black man. If they were you real friends they would look pass his skin color it should just be that they are happy because you are happy. So, really you need to set them straight!

I am a Native American and have some white in me. And my family doesnt have a problem with blacks but they dont believe in interracial relationships either. My boyfriend is half white half black but mostly black. My friends dont care so they were no problem. But my family on the other hand.. shitt.. my ma flipped. But I explained to her that relationships are a part of life. it shouldnt matter the race you r as long as there is love. explain that if the whole world went dark, wed all be the same color. =]

F*c* Themm, You Love Him, He Loves You. No Matter What Happens Don't Break Up With Your Guy Just because Other People Consider It Weird Or Whatever. ITs You Guys What Matter, thats Is.

Good Luck. =D

good for you! you are helping your town move forward. if you don't want to be a pioneer, just move to CA or NY or Toronto, or London, or The Sudan, Sau Palo or...you see where I am going with this. Much of the world is mixed, so don't worry. If you love the man and HE TREATS YOU RIGHT go make mixed babies. a few more generations, and people who aren't mixed will be the minority. and when you have happy, progressive, mixed kids, use MIXED CHICKS hair products on them(http://www.mixedchicks.net). good luck

If you have dated this man over one yr and you are engaged to him, meet his family. I am Black and my brothers always have dated outside our race. In our community Blacks accept white females there is always perjudice but love is blind.

You will have to also understand your family/friends may never accept him but if your love is strong, they may come around or God will place new members to your circle. We all want family support and in this day and age some people will not accept change, you have to live your life for you.

Also consider how will you raise your children? Black hair can be different, cultures are different and many other issues arise. Sit down, jot down concerns, talk, pray and go from there. When the Lord puts a man and woman together it will last...Blessings!

I completely disagree with stars. While interracial dating for the reason of wanting to date someone from another race, no matter who they are, is problematic, what you're saying is completely different.
If you truly love someone, then it doesn't matter what race either of you are. Race is just another difference, like blonde or brown hair, or being tall or short.
My boyfriend is Chinese, and we have been together for two years. Yes, there have been problems. His parents don't like the fact that he's dating a white girl. However, that's not going to stop us. We have something very special, and we're just hoping that at some point in time, they'll learn to like me.
So I say go for it, and screw all those biased people out there. Let's show them that no matter what, true love conquers all!!

As a African-American, I love stories like this. and interracial dating 2 some peps (blacks and whites) will start some problems. I am also dateing a caucasion female and yes I love her and it didnt start any problems with my friends. I didnt tell my family yet because I really dont want 2. but in the end, if your friends wont accept the fact that you r dateing a African-American man, then they are really not your friends because friends will accept whoeva you datein no matter what race he/she iz. as far as family goes, dont b so scared. juss hang on 2 your man for a while because if you wanna grow up with him or have a future with him, and your momz is racist, then dont tell her yet until you fully moved out the house and is legaly 18 with ID. good luck with your man. my woman wont talk 2 me rite now.