Internet affairs

I am 39 and have been married for 17 years. My husband and I have 7 children together. The problem is that I had an internet affair in July for about two weeks and since then I just can't stop myself from doing it again. I met somebody online a few weeks...

ago and I have become very attached to him. I think about him all the time. A meeting with this guy would be difficult, but not impossible at some point in time. My husband is devoted to me. We have had marriage problems over the past few months, but he is willing to work through them with me. We stopped working on our marriage and were essentially roommates. This ended up with us separating for about two weeks. My husband and I have grown up together and are like a part of each other. We are starting to do things together and become best friends again. The problem is that I just feel so numb at times and the draw to the computer is overwhelming. I am not a cheater. I can't even understand my own behavior. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Wow your situation is so close to mine that it is almost creepy. I have 7 kids and a wife that acts like she is just my roommate.
This attraction you have to the internet is pretty common. Have you thought about making friends with some people on line or in your area that would just be friends? I think that it is OK and exciting to get to know new people, male or female but taking it to the next level is just putting all you have worked for over the past 17 years in jeopardy. All marriages have problems but I think you should try your hardest to work them out. When ever I get fed up with my wife I try to remember that every relation ship I have ever had started out exciting and fun but the excitement did not last long. My wife was the girl that kept it fun and exciting for the long haul and that is why we got married in the first place. Unless your husband is abusing you or your children or running you into financial problems or doing something illegal I think you should try to make it work with him. When you get fed up with him remember you are 50% of the problem.

Thanks for the advice. It really hit home. Wish we could talk further about this. It's nice to hear from someone who has been there, done that. I swear that breaking the internet addiction is just as bad as taking alcohol away from the alcoholic. No, my husband doesn't abuse me or the kids.

For both of you. Once I had a real (and nice) love affair with a wife, who lived in a marriage that based on early childhood friendship, growing up together, etc. That time I learned that this type of marriages are very strong, but also need some fresh-air, time to time. I think the best is that if both partners in this marriage know this, and give some freedom to the other partner. Married childhood friends are almost unable to leave each other, but can drive the other half mad, time to time.

Austin1221 - I would be happy to talk to you more about your situation although I don't know that I could be much help. I can’t even make my own marriage happy. Having a wife who has clinical depression makes it a constant uphill battle. I do find much happiness in my children and try to make every day with them count. Today for my oldest boys 12th birthday I took him out of school in the morning and took him to the Skate park then out to doughnuts. It was a lot of fun. If you would like send me an e-mail I will post my address for you.

I know it can be very difficult to have a family member with depression. My mom has problems with depression, and I manage patients with depression every day as a nurse. It is tough. It's wonderful that you can find happiness through your kids. I'm sure that helps them a lot too. I bet your son had a great time that he won't ever forget. I can't find your e-mail address, but you can e-mail me at austinmom1221 at hotmail.com. What's odd is that my problems actually started with me shutting down due to too much stress from work.