In need for desperate advice.

I've been dating this guy for 4 and a half months. We are both 17 and I know a lot of you must be thinking that oh you're young, you don't know what love is yet but I know that I am truly in love with him. The fact is, he broke up with me and we've been apart for three weeks. In that time, I was able to somewhat get over him... He got a new girlfriend and moved on as well. He did drugs even though he knew that I HATE them and he would always run to his best friend's house (who is a girl) whenever there was a major problem... He nearly broke up with me two times before finally doing it on the day of my dad's birthday. I was totally heartbroken, he told me that I could trust him but obviously I couldn't. He told me that he wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me as well as have children together... We also went as far as planning our wedding and chosing our children's names. His friends were always getting in the way. He quit cigarettes and drugs for me for a month straight until he couldn't stop anymore and just went for them because his friends were doing it.

All of the time we were broken up, I kept on trying to get in contact with him but he never wanted to see me OR talk to me. I lost the love of my life and I was going totally insane. I had to have every second of my time occupied, otherwise I would break down and cry. He didn't care, he was on drugs. He saw me the day that I went to get my stuff and I gave him (I know this sounds kiddish) this pink pony that he hung on his wall when we were friends because we were friends for nine months before dating... So I was really used to him. He REALLY didn't want anything to do with me.. He hurt me so badly, it's the worse pain I've ever felt in my life. I mean I've even gone through my parents abusing me when I was younger and not even that pain was this bad. They physically, emotionally and verbally abused me and he made me feel the worse. That's really bad...

I got the shock of my life when he called me up at 1 AM out of the blue and told me that he REALLY needed to talk to me. Curious, I called him back the next day. He wanted to go back out with me! I was busy that day so I saw him the day after... I ended up going back out with him and he quit drugs for me that was his condition.. He told me that the reason that he didn't want to date me earlier was because he was scared of how I might react to him calling me. He didn't want to go back out with me until he knew that he wouldn't be doing any more drugs. He told me that he went on a really bad E trip and saw the movie Requiem For A Dream which is about how bad drugs are... Now, I don't know what to do, I can't trust him but I still love him so much. He needs me but I don't know if I should still stay with him knowing that I probably won't be able to trust him the way I did ever again. I nearly committed suicide. It was horrible and all everyone around me ever said was give him time, if he really loves you, he'll come back to you. It was the hardest thing I could ever do to wait. I waited two weeks and didn't talk to him for that period of time and then he called me. I just don't know what to do... He invited me to go to the bar with him tomorrow and was supposed to hang out with me today until I called him up at 5:30 when he called me at 4 but no one at my house told me.. and told me his dad said that he had to work at the bar to do a sound check... He COULD have invited me but didn't, and then he tells me that he was going to his best friend's house (the girl) afterwards around 11:30... and that he was spending the night. Her, her boyfriend and my boyfriend are friends. I still don't understand why I wasn't invited to go to the bar with him. I know he won't cheat on me.. I saw how badly he's taken it from his ex girlfriend when she told him she cheated on him every day. He was heartbroken.. He told me he's never loved anyone as much as me but yet he let drugs come between us the first time. I have a thing for always feeling insecure about everything but I'm not sure if I have a good enough reason for this and I'm not sure how to explain it to him that I still want to be with him even though all of this has happened.

Thank you to anyone that reads this and replies.

Here's my take on all this:

I don't know what kind of drugs he's on, but they are addictive as you know. Depending on what he's on, it could be virtually impossible for him to quit on his own. That's why it's not your fault he went back. If he really wants to quit, then you probably need to get him some help. There are teen addiction hotlines you can call that are annonymous and free. I think you should tell him that he needs to get help with his drug problem, or no dice. He has to choose. If he's in love with you, he'll do whatever it takes. Just make sure he knows that he has your full support.

And please, don't ever consider suicide. It's not worth it. Even if life doesn't seem to be able to get any worse, there will always be more happiness in your life. You just have to keep your head up and trust that it will come.

Good luck to you both.

hes crazy.not to be mean but just start fresh..he doesnt take you seriously.

*akira