Will this older man ever have the courage to leave?

At the beginning of the year I met an older man through some mutual friends (I'm 25, he is 46. We got chatting and hit it off straight away. He was honest with me from the start that he has a 'partner' and lives with her and their two children. However, their relationship has been strained for some time, they sleep in seperate beds, haven't had sex together in years and they have completely different social lives. They don't openly see other people, and in the eye's of their friends and family, they are a couple.

Six months ago we started a relationship and the feelings between us have been growing deeper ever since. We haven't slept together yet, but we have both admitted that we are in love with each other.

He is a very devoted father and his kid's mean the world to him. At the moment the situation upsets him very much because he feels he is letting his family down by seeing me.

We have talked about the future and he know's that eventually he will have to finish things with his partner as their is no love in the relationship. However, he is scared of how it will affect his kids if he moves out and so, can't guarantee when he will be ready to make the move.

As I'm falling for him even more, its getting harder to carry on with things as they are. I long to have everything out in the open as ultimately I know it will be best for everyone involved and we will be able to fully commit to this relationship.

I want to believe that there is a future for us, but I don't know if he will ever pluck up the courage to do what needs to be done and finalise things with his partner.

I'm at a loss over what to do. I don't want to lose him, but I can't waste my life waiting for him to make his move.

Dear boomboomsabotage,
It pains me when I hear stories like yours. This man is not going to leave his wife, he would have done so along time ago. It is standard knowledge that a family who has a single happy parent is much happier than a family who has a mother and father who have a bad relationship. So he is stringing you along. Yes, you should move on...age does make a difference. If you desire to have a family of your own later on he will quite old to raise children and you are much too young to have an extended family such as the one he has. It would be uncomfortable for you to be among his older friends and laughable for him to be socializing with your friends.
Sue...good luck

These kinds of relationships rarely go anywhere! He lives with his 'partner', and their 2 children. They sleep in seperate beds, and havent had sex in years...and you honestly believe that? If he truly wasnt being fulfilled in his present relationship, dont you think he would want to leave it? Hes using his kids as a ploy to keep you hanging around!

He is the one who is in a committed relationship which he is wrecking. He is the one who is lying and deceiving...he should feel upset!

The thing is that the guy says all the right things. Even if he acknowledges that he has another commitment he is always on the verge of leaving, separated, going through a divorce, desperately unhappy, lonely or in any one of hundreds of situations which make the other woman feel there's hope.
While many men lie about their situation and make their partners out to be demons to lure the other woman into a relationship, much of the time they are in happy, healthy relationships. They're just bored - and they want the fun of having their cake and eating it too. It's not so much about the sex (which will eventually lead to) as about the thrill.

Men will say just about anything to keep that thrill going, even promising to leave their partners. If they don't promise this, it's because they have kids who are keeping them at home. All of these are plausible excuses which the confused other woman is happy to hear. But unfortunately, these excuses are just a tissue of lies. Only 10% of commited men actually leave their partners, and family for the other woman.

he;s taken? The leave him alone!! Don't be a home wrecker!!!
Find someone single and who has no kids, and someone of YOUR generation.