If your spouse has cheated before, will they do it again?

My husband has cheated in the past, and we separated for a few months Since we reunited, things are better than they have ever been, but it is always in the back of my mind that he might do it again someday. I want to believe that he won't. Is it likely he will cheat again? Or can people really learn their lesson, be regretful and stay faithful?

Dear spiralbutterfly,
Your other question says your happily married yet here you say you are always thinking about his cheating. The reason it is always on your mind is that he hasn't made you believe he won't do it again. So how can he convince you of this? If you are not in marriage counselling, get there ASAP. You thoughts will continue to eat you up and eventually will cause the marriage to end. There is an old saying once a cheater always a cheater but that is not true for everyone. Why did he stray in the marriage in the first place...it has nothing to do with you...what were his issues. Has he gotten these resolved through counselling? If not then he probably will offend again. People need help when things are wrong and things were really wrong with him if he cheated. So will he cheat again...if he hasn't gotten help..my educated guess would be yes. Do you believe he won't cheat...no...you still think he will and until you both get a lot of counselling and help you both will never resolve this problem.
Sue...good luck

When I said I was happily married before, I was telling the truth. He is really trying to prove himself to me everyday, and we are addressing the issues that we had before and we're working on them. Both of us are really happy.

I have heard that old adage 'once a cheater, always a cheater' but I really don't want to believe that. What I am really asking here is if that little saying is really true, or can some people really go through life and marriage and never cheat again?

Dear spiralbutterfly,
To clarify what I said...without counselling to resolve why he cheated the chances are great that he will cheat again.
Sue...good luck

HELLO, BUTTERFLY

I THINK IT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH WHAT EVER MIGHT HAVE BEEN GOING ON IN YOUR LIVES AT THAT TIME. IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOUR HUSBAND WILL CHEAT AGAIN. BUT NOW YOU KNOW HE'S CAPABLE OF IT AND IT SCARES YOU. YOU WILL FEEL A LITTLE INSECURE UNTIL A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME HAS PASSED. NOW THAT YOU HAVE DECIEDE TO GIVE THINGS ANOTHER TRY, REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST AND MOVE FOWARD WITH THE FUTURE. SO, IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN DEAL WITH THEN IT'S BEST TO CUT IT LOOSE NOW. BUT IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN OVERCOME HIS BETRAYAL IN TIME THEN TRY TO WORK YOUR MARRIAGE OUT. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.

I think that is all it is too...my own insecurities. But I will say that as time goes by, it has gotten a lot better. At least now I'm not sitting here scared to death he's not coming back every time he leaves the house. When we first got back together, that's how I was. I told myself then, that I could not live that way and I had to put it all behind me and work on getting my marriage back together or it was not going to work. So that is one of the things I've been trying to work on with myself. I feel a LOT better than I used to. It's just that I would hate to give him back that trust and then get betrayed again. I know the issues that caused him to cheat and we have both vowed to never let our marriage get that way again. Before he cheated, I never would have dreamt he would do it...but he did. I guess I just wanted reassurance that 'once a cheater, always a cheater' just isn't true, and that people can really change and live happily with their spouse after having cheated.

WELL IF THEY SAY THEY WONT AND THEY REALLY LOVE YOU a lot THEN I don't THINK SO>>> BECAUSE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND BEEN going OUT FOR SEVEN MONTHS AND HE HAD CHEATED ON ME AND HE NEVER DID IT AGAIN I was GNA BREAK UP WITH HIM BUT THEN HE STARTED CRYING SAYING THAT HE WONT EVER DO IT AGAIN and ANOTHE RHTING IS IF you WNA C IF HE WILL CHEAT AGAIN THEN DO THIS IF YOU HAVE A MYSPACE MAKE A NEW ONE and PUT A SEXY GRL ON your PHOTO AND SAY HEY WATZ UP CUTIE AND START TLKING TO HIM and C what HE SAYS!

Whether or not your spouse cheats again, you'll never fully TRUST them again. That's for sure...

like captainassassin said,
I really doubt you'll be able to trust him fully ever again

trust is easy to lose
hard to gain

what does your heart tell you?