What do you think of my poem?

abouse
When shes sad she walks
When shes afraid she runs
shes scared so she cries
shes scared and now I no why I can see it through her black eye
shes scared she might make him mad
shes scared of her dad
and her story is sad
the teaches ask why...

she cries
and about her black eye
the dad just hits and hits
the mom just sits
one day she was hit to hard
she fell asleep and never woke
the docters said her skull was broke
and they said this little girl is dead
if your dad does this to you or a friend
GET HELP
so it wont end up like this end

ps this doesnt happen 2 me if your wonderin

pps did you like it?

I liked it, very depressing actually, but I like the way you used those basic words to bring the feel in the poem. very nice

I LOVED IT!!! My mum was an abuse victim so I feel that deep. It is thought provoking and inspirational. But when you say: the dad hits and hits, make it one hit, the silence for that adds depth. Loved IT!!!1

Poerty is something that comes from with in you and many things conme from with in it does not have to be about us..every one falls in love with some at one point and at first it is about them but then it becomes about a commitment rather then a person the love is still there just under a different covering. This person must feel deeply about the subject to write a poem a bout it and must have a heart for the sufferning...and the feelings are still there with out it having to be her ( thank God)...it is the same passion just a different covering and so either way it is poetry.

I think that it is ok.

I love it