I need a shoulder to cry on

This is a really stupid question but recently I have been feeling more down than ever. I just feel completely messed up. I just feel so alone; no-one listens to me or hears what I am saying. I have been struggling with eating for at least a year now - I...

just want to be thin! People found out that I wasn't eating in Year 7, and a lot of people got involved but it was all stopped and I was pretty sure I was happy and confident with myself. I did not know that it would all linger at the back of my mind. Sometimes I am happy and can eat whatever I want without a thought but then I just fast because I realize how fat I am. It is just endless. Sometimes I am crying and my Mum comes to comfort me but it doesn't feel right because she has no idea why I am upset - she thinks I am totally over the eating thing. Recently I have started making myself sick and one of my friends know. She is angry and worried and wants me to stop and it makes me feel terrible. It just feels like I have the whole world on my shoulders. I also have a condition called ME or chronic fatigue syndrome which is getting me down too. It is really difficult living in a house in which my parents are constantly arguing and burdens like that. My brother had Leukaemia for three years and now he is eight I am constantly having to tell him to do his homework and stuff because he missed out on so much school. He never keeps it up because he has no motivation which is so frustrating. I have loads of amazing friends - I go to a private all girls' school - and I love being with my friends when I have enough energy but when I get home again most of my happiness goes away and I start thinking about the bad stuff. I just can't seem to show my sad self to my friends; I just want to be happy around them. I just want to let my emotion out to someone. I really crave a good lad to comfort me and stuff, someone I can tell anything too... A friend just isn't the same is it? I am only thirteen (a mature thirteen!) and I have been with plenty of boys but have only had one relationship that has meant anything to me. I know loads of lads even though I'm at an all girls but none of them seem right for me. There is so much more I could speak about but its diffcult to get it all out. Basically I am pretty confused! I feel great when I am with my friends but sometimes I am just too tired. I really want a boyfriend but can't find Mr. Perfect! Not to mention my family is bankrupt and I really want more clothes and stuff. I'd love to do babysitting or something - I'm quite experienced as I always have to look after my other brother who is two and has Down's Syndrome - but work is difficult to find at my age! I know I am probably just selfish but I am so messed up and I know that it isn't going to get better any time soon. Sometimes am happy and sometimes I don't even know why I am sad. I just want some attention sometimes.
Sorry for babbling on.
Any comments are greatly appreciated!
Thanks so much..x
Help me!!!

we all have problems that we think are gone, but then somehow they seep back into our minds. it happens to everyone. you just have to keep focused. you seem to be unhappy with yourself and situation in life...maybe it would help you to make some goals (actually write them down) and then work towards accomplishing them. one could be to eat three healthy meals a day. another could be to exercise 30 minutes every day. just things like that.

as for a boyfriend...trust me, not having a boyfriend is far better than having one that isn't right for you. but go out and have fun. let guys know if your interested in them and maybe something will happen. don't worry about finding mr perfect right now. really, it's ok that you haven't found him yet.

you seem to have a lot of hardships to deal with---chronic fatigue syndrome, down syndrome, leukemia, fighting parents etc. everyone has their own hardships. a lot of girls have trouble with self esteem and body image. you're not alone.

anyways, if you want someone to vent to, someone to get advice from, or just someone to listen, feel free to funmail me. I would love to try to help you in any way I could.

stay safe

Thank you sooo much for your comments..x They all really help me

I suggest you talk to God, Hes cool like that, you can cry out to Him, and even though you think He may not be answering, He is listening, you have to be still and know that He is God, trust me, I have had to do that before, He is there for you, if you need more advce, please go to lifespace.cc and go to discussions, and post it there. =)

Am really sorry but you can tlk 2 me???!!