I'm so hurt... i wanna be treated with respect.

It's kinda long so pay attention (really pay attention because my English is not really good) And to me this is a serious problem so hope you guys will spare some time to read it.

My dad didn't really abandon me and my mom, but ever since I was...

born he's been treating my mom like a stranger and he hardly comes home (he lives in another city, far away from where we live) Sometimes when he comes home he does bring some money, but my mom told me not to take it - I mean why should he give his money away now but not then? (when I was born, he didn't come home, he didn't send any money, and we could have died of hunger if it weren't for my uncles' help) We have a small house, which should have belonged to him but my mom [fought] for it so now it's hers, and she rents it to get some extra money (life's not easy for us, I mean she's already got a job but of course we can't just live with her salary - there are so many things to take care of ) We currently live in one of my uncles' house, and it's been like forever. Of course my uncle pays for everything, and all my mom has to do is taking care of the house. But it's not that easy.

My uncle has a very nasty wife (I hate her till death), she's so self-centered, selfish, always shows off and always thinks she's better than everybody. Anyway they have 2 kids. When the first one was born, everyone thought the whole taking-care-of-her-baby thing will changer her in a nice way (at least, nicER than what she'd been). But we were all wrong, because the older her son gets, the more naughty he is; and the more naughty he is, the more angry and impatient she gets with him. Sometimes she even curses in front of him, and he of course eventually learned to curse and I don't know how but I made him forget those nasty curses that his mom [accidentally] taught him. Naturally and gradually, his mother seems to hate him more and more, and we kinda became his second family. But things got worse. When he turns 5 or 6 (I don't remember exactly), I suddenly realized that the whole time my mom's been taking care of her son for nothing. He wakes up in the morning, there's the breakfast that my mom bought for him. He comes home in the evening, there's the dinner that my mom prepared for him. At first I thought it's kinda unfair, I mean it's not like my mom's filthy rich and can buy anyone breakfast, but then I remember what mom told me (your uncle takes care of us, he pays us everything, if it weren't for him you wouldn't be born) so I just got over it, I mean we own them and all. But it's her attitude that bugs me, she never says thanks, she never seems to appreciate anything that my mom does for her (or her mom!!! She talks to her own mother as if she's a maid or something) I tried to hold it inside, and told myself that it's nothing big, me and my mom own them big time, but couldn't.

One day I was using the computer to do some stuff and suddenly a small statue (which has been there forever, my mom said it brought luck to my uncles' companies or something) fell down to the floor and broke. I turned around, my uncle was there. He looked at me furiously and was all like: Are you crazy?? what did you do that for?? pick it up!! oh great now it's all ruined thanks to you!! I was just shocked!!! I picked it up, trying to explain that I did nothing, it just fell down itself but he just kept yelling at me and even said that I lied. One more accident, my cousin (his son) and I were playing (we were just kids then) and he suddenly poked my eye with the tip of a pen. Now this was done on purpose, I don't remember exactly but I told him before about how I hate some of his bad habits and he got mad. I was so hurt, couldn't see anything and I don't remember how but I ended up poking him on the hand with that pen too (I swear I didn't mean to do that). He screamed so loud everybody went inside and asked what happened. And of course my uncle yelled at me and gave me that look, the look that I could never forget, it reminded me of the distance between him and me: he's the one who had all the powers to ruin my world, he made me so he could easily break me. I know it was just a kids story, but it affected me in so many ways. Since then I knew that I'm not just scared of them but also hate them, especially him!!! One day, don't know what's got into me but anyway, I told my couz that I hate his dad, didn't think he could use that against me some day. Several days later, we got into a small fight, and I told him to get away from me when I was using the computer. My uncle was there, and surprisingly, he told my couz to let me be. And my couz was like: Why are you standing up for her, she told me she hated you!! I was like... dead!!! I could not believe he told his dad that, and I just sat there staring at him, wondering what my uncle would say. But he just said: I don't care if she hates me or not, now you just come here and let her be. I was in total shock, how could he treat me like that after knowing I hated him?? I cried and cried and cried, thinking of how nice he had been to me, he must have been yelling at me because he cared. But things happened and happened again, and I decided that that was just a crazy moment he had. However, it really struck me when I found out about what he really thought of me.

One day, he had a conversation with my mom, kind of a serious one, and I was so curious - they were talking in the dining room with the doors opened!!! I could have heard them standing right on the stairs!!! So I went up and overheard them talking about me. He told my mom about how shy I was and some other mean stuff that I don't remember. I was so hurt, how could he say that, what does he know about me anyway?? It turned out he just jumped to conclusion just because I hardly talked to him. I thought, wow, you really think it's easy for me to talk to someone I don't like, or frankly, hate?? I just sat there, crying and crying until I couldn't breath. I hate him, no, I'm disgusted by him. Why did we have to own him everything?? I wanna leave this stupid house but can't. My mom is the only one who actually takes care of my grandparents, if she wasn't here, who knows what might happen. Sometimes I got so stressed out I even thought about running away.

So after that I just tried my best to stay out of his way, not talking to him, not getting involved in any of his business. Things seem to get better, because recently, his b!tchy wife seemed to know that people are judging her for the way she acts. So she started to help my mom with the housework (just a little bit, she's still a lazy b!tch) and stop trying to get my grandparents pay for stuff that she buys (before, she'd give my mom the supermarket bill with all her stuff in there and my mom would be like: What?? I didn't even tell you to buy this!!! and she'd just look at my mom for a long while and said: Okay then) I felt happy, thinking my mom's finally getting the respect and appreciation she should have. But things just keep happening.

I was in my room watching TV with my mom, and then I heard the door shut, so I guessed my aunt's home and my uncle opened the door for her. And then I remembered that mom and I were gonna hang out, so I went downstairs to tell him not to close the door. And he just gave me the coldest look and said: Now you're telling me to open this door?? I closed it, can't you see?? where were you anyway, in your room locking the door and pretended not to hear the bells?? do I have to do all the work now?? what are young kids like you doing, enjoying your day and leave everything else done by other people?? I was just speechless. I knew I should say I really didn't hear anything but I knew he wouldn't listen to me anyway so I just walked upstairs. I was so hurt, so humiliated, especially in front of that woman. I knew she was happy to see that. Few minutes later, my best friend called and asked if she could borrow my camera. I was still crying, and I actually hoped she would know and asked me what's wrong. But she was just like: What is wrong with your voice?? you sound so weird!! were you sleeping or something?? I was devastated. D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-E-D. She's like the only person who I can talk to right now and she doesn't seem to care a bit. In fact she's never actually taken me seriously, and we kinda got into a fight because of this, and then we made up again. That's why this time I don't wanna tell her that I'm upset and stuff, I want her to know that I am upset, I want her to actually ask me if something's wrong, I want her to care but... nothing!! NOTHING!!! people want me to respect them but don't have any respect for me. They keep telling me their stories but they don't have time to listen to mine. They think their problems are important and mine are just crap. I can't stand this anymore. I know my problem is probably not as big as many some of the problems that you guys are having, but it brought me down a lot, especially when my mom can't (or won't, in which case is worse because it means she too doesn't care about me) do anything about it. I wanna be treated with respect, I want them to listen to me when I talk to them, what do I have to do??

wow that was long!... I think the thing with your uncle is that he knows you owe him everything and that your actually alive because of him so heese taken advantage of the fact and shouting and blaming everythin on you because he knows you cant really do anything about it. if you just act really nice infront of him heel know that you arent taken anything to it... like your not reacting to it. maybe the reason why he's shoutin is so u, one day, totally freak out at him so he has a reason to throw you and your mum out?

theres a saying that you have to earn your repsect, and your family members clearly havnt earnt it at all, so until they do dont give it them, demand respect from them if they want it back, sit your uncle down and tell him how you feel, and what kind of a bestfriend doesnt notice when your upset, ring her and tell her you need to talk to her then tell her what you just said and see how she responds, if she does not listen then leave her to it, she is not worth it if she is not a real bestfriend. as for your auntie well id try to ignore her until you speak to your uncle, and I wouldnt talk to his son about anything again, hope I helped :]

O0KKAyy SO0 I TOTALLy UNDERSTANd WHAt your going THRU
BUt HAVE you NOTiCE PEOPLE iN THiS WORLd ARE MEAN,RUDE,DISRESPECTFUL,ANGRy,HURt, ANd BItTER?
WELL WHEN PEOPLE ARE LiKE THAt I've LEARNEd THAt iN ORDER TO GEt RESPECt you HAVE TO0 GiVE iT RiGHT?? and SO0METiMES you GOt TO0 TREAT people THE WAy YOU WANt TO BE TREATED and iN THAt TiME iF THE PEOPLE ARE NOt SHOWiN you ANy KiND Of RESPECt WELL WHy DONt you LEtt ARE your RESPECt GO0 OUt THE WiNDOW? SHOULDNt EVERy PERSON DESERVE TO0 BE TREATEd WiTH LOVE, RESPECT, ANd KiNDNEss?
iT SOUNdS LiKE you HAVE A SINCERE HEARt and ALL your asking iS FOR SOMEONE TO0 CARE and HEAr your HURt; WELL iM HEAr BECuS I FEEL THE SAME WAyy BUt SOMETiMES I KiND OF JUSt LiVE FOR ME and My MOTHER and JUSt MOVE ON WiTH My DAy and WHEN PEOPLE ARE ANGRy, STUCk UP, OR DONt HAVE ONE ONCE OF RESPECt I JUSt KiLL EM WItH ONE ACt OF KiNdNESS OR TWO and you KiND OF MAKE THAt PERSON FEEL WORTHLESS because ALL THiS TiME THEy HAVE BEEN MEAN TO0 your MOTHER and you and OUt OF NO WHERE you DiD SOMETHiNG NiCE FOR EM =]] SEE SO0 JUSt THiNK ABOUt iT and WHEN EVER your JUSt MAdd and FRUSTRATED; iDONt KNOW If your RELiGiOUS BUt I AM and WHAt I ALSO DO0 iS TALk TO0 GOddd and GiVE HiM My DEEPEStt THOUGHtS Of MiNE and HE ACTUALLy HEArS and CONFORTS ME BELiEVE iT OR NOt?iM SERiOUS JUSt GiVE iT TO GOd and TALk TO0 HiM LiKE HE WHERE your FRiENd and HE'LL WORk THE iMPOSSiBLE LiKE HE SAYS, iHEAL THE BROKEN HEARtED, AND iLL NEVER LEAVE you OR FORSAKE you JUST TRUSt iN ME...
I HOPE iT HELPS SORRy iF THiS WAS TO0 LONg BUt I WAS JUSt HEARiN you OUt and REPLiED WiTH A FEW WORDS THAt MAy ENCOURAGE U =]]

Thanks you guys so much... I actually cried when I was reading your comments.

To loraaa: now that you mentioned it, I think you're right. I've never actually noticed before but he's always act like he's somewhat superior to my mom.

To betts: I wish I could say anything to him but I hate him so bad I don't even wanna be in the same room with him or breath the same air with him. And as for my friend, I've talked to her for like a thousand times but she just keeps acting this way. Guess I'm gonna have to have a real conversation with her soon.

To bby_girl_09: You're right. I'm just gonna live for my mother. And I'm Buddhist so I can't talk to God about my problems but I'm happy that you guys are here to encourage me. I'm still hurt, but I'll keep holding on =))

Maybe, you should talk to your mother tell her exactly how you feel, every single detail. I also think you should just tell your friend and see what she says. Try and get her to care.. and even she doesn't while she's not a good friend then.

My mother, she listens, she understands, but she never says anything. Whenever she sees me cry, she'll be like: It's no big deal, why are you crying about it... And my friend, well, you don't know how much I'm beginning to hate her, but if I tell the f*cking truth in her face, she might turn her back on me and besides, it'd be hard for me to hang out with my other friends, who happen to be her friends too, if that ever happens.

it's too long. I didn't read all of it, but just hang in there hun