I'm concerned about my virginity and how it will feel losing it

Hello, I'm shayla. Me and my boyfriend have been really close in the last little while, and I know hes been hinting at me to have sex with him, or do something that involves being sexual. I really like him, and Im acually really curious about having sex. I really want to, but I'm holding back because im only 14, I dont have my period yet and also im fairly small for my age. A little underweight, can my weight have anything important to do with having sex? And also the main reason im not "going to do it" is because a lot of teenage girls say that it is really painful and it throbbs during and after sex, should I see how it feels and go ahead and have sex? I know my boyfriend will understand if I dont want to but I dont want to let him down at all.
Do you have any advice for me
Please and thank you
- shayla

YOU ARE ONLY 14!! You havent even gotten your period yet. Do you realize the damage you could be doing to your body?? Never have sex just because your boyfriend wants to. Any guy who truly cares about you, would never push you into sex. If your boyfriend is in a hurry for sex, that is a sign that he won't treat you respectfully afterward. You need to inform him sweetly, but firmly, that you will not be rushed into doing anything so major Sex is a huge deal, no matter what some people say.Don't let him talk you out of what you know is right. If you make out with someone, no matter how far you go, it does NOT mean that you have to go all the way. Don't be embarrassed or think you will sound immature by saying no to sex. Choosing not to have sex is VERY mature. It would be immature to be pressured into something you don’t want! SEX VS. LOVE
"If you love me, you'll have sex with me."

"I love you, I just want to show you how I feel."

"If we love each other, there's nothing wrong with it."

"Sex is natural."

At one time or another, most girls hear some version of one of those lines. But guess what? None of them mean you have to have sex with someone - even if you are truly, madly, deeply in love with that person!
Love and sex are NOT the same thing. Love is an emotion or a feeling. There is no one definition of love because the word "love" can mean many different things to many different people. Sex, on the other hand, is a biological event. Even though there are different kinds of sex, most sexual acts have certain things in common. Sex can be intercourse, or it can be something that does not involve penetration, such as oral sex.
There are millions of non-sexual ways to show someone you care about them. You can show a person you care for them by spending time with them. Go to the movies. Or just hang out and talk. If you are with someone you really like, then anything can be fun.

There are other ways to feel physically close without having sex too. These ways include everything from kissing and hugging to touching and fondling each other. Just remember that if you're not careful, these activities can lead to sex. Some activities that aren't sex can also lead to STD's, so educate yourself and be aware of the risks.
Boys will get what they want from a girl, and move on to the next. Do you think that by having sex you will keep him? If you think that then you have NOT thought this through whatsoever!!!

A girls virginity is something to be treasured!! Save it!!!

If you guys want to be intimate in a sexual way without you losing your virginity, there's still plenty of fun stuff you can do. Like angelfire suggested, oral can be a substitute, although it can be a little intimidating to somebody who hasn't been sexually intimate yet. Just think of it as normal, and you'll see how good it actually is. Also, you can make out and give each other handjobs, or do "dry humping" where he's rubbing his genitals against yours but on the outside, so it feels good for both, but isn't penetration. Get creative - sex is more than just going in. Use food or ice to tease each other. Trying to come up with spicy little games can be more fun than the actual intercourse, so you won't be missing out that much, and it surely won't hurt.

As about damage, angelfire you're wrong. There's nothing about the fact you get a period that makes you better fit for sex. As long as all the right hormones are working and the body is mature enough to be aroused and to produce its natural juices, it should be fine. Women can have sex after menopause too, even though they no longer have a period - the period has nothing to do with it if you are otherwise healthy and ready. But I agree, 14 is a little young, unless you really want it and feel a need in yourself, NOT because of somebody else.

In case you decide to go for it after all, make sure you have enough lubrication - either your own, or KY jelly which you can buy at the pharmacy or convenience store. That's *very* important, otherwise if you're dry it will hurt like hell. Take your time and go slow, and make sure he's gentle. And remember, it doesn't hurt all girls, and it doesn't bleed with all girls.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!

U act like shes going to save her virginity till marriage..got some bad news for u..no one waits that long anymore..But yah sweetheart..it hurts it hurt me for days..that was when I was 13..im 17 now and just had sex with my current love of my life..had sex and it was still painful and painful for a couple of hours after that..your 14..no period..wait for a little while
your not done matureing and when your not done matureing you make some stupid mistakes I been there done that..I wish I woulda waited for the guy im with now

hey im 14 too, and I started my period when I was 12. I first had sex about 4 months ago. the first time will always hurt from what people my age and older have said. it hurt for me too. I have sex ocasionally and about the 1st and 2nd time it did hurt but yesterday I had sex and it felt great... so I guess it depends on the individual but im still happy with my boyfriend we went out for about 6-7 months before we had sex and in one month or so it will be a year we've been together. its not wrong to lose your virginty at 14, I used to think that too. but when and if you do make sure you use a condom and ask your mom/dad/guardian to take you to a doctor and get tested for any diseases and possibly get on birth control.(I know you cant get pregnant yet) but if your mature enough to have sex im sure your resposible and mature enough to dicuss it with you mom/dad/guardian.

YOU ARE ONLY 14 I don't recommend you have sex atleast until 17. Am 19 I waited until 1 month before I turned 18. I feel as though you should wait. You can try other fun sexual things but it will only cause you want to go further.Your mind will want to explore more once you start doing other things and then he would probably keep telling you "lets try intercourse" as for how it feels, it really hurts the first time, its hurts a lot! after your done it still hurts, so think about it and when and if you feel as though youre ready then do it. But I did it because I was curious, my boyfriend told me he would wait until I was ready.BUT REALLY TRY AND WAIT.

Shayla, are you blacK?

hi I read you r mail,u want to know that really it ispainful or not?is it.....I am telling yes it is painful at the first time,but not that much,if it is too much painful then no one like it.but you r husbant should careful about it.ok I am DEbraj if you want to contact with Me then send Me mail at Fun mail me take care dont worry.

most people say it is painful but it really wasnt for me. I can't tell you to wait and not have sex but the advice I would give is to take your time and do other things that can be just as fun. You're only 14 you have so much time dont be pressuredinto having sex too soon

Having s*x is a huge step forward, you'll always remember your first, and chances are something bad will happen, or you two will have a fight, or something of the sort. At your age you two have many mental changes coming at you. Eventually you might break up because you suddenly lose interest or find something about him that you hate.

you never know. Sometimes it is best to wait, and since you haven't had your period yet it might not be best to rush into things.

Trust me on one thing though. Once you open that ill conceived door to s*x, you'll never be able to close it.

If you have any questions email me at Fun mail me.

well I know how you feel im only 13 but I've gone thro a cycle b 4 and
I understand where your coming 4rm
I've been with this one guy and weve been faithful with eachother
for a yr already
hes very resectful and all but lately weve been talkin bout
givin it up to eachother and I don't know bout it tho
c his dad has past away and he sweres to me that hes a virgo and
all but I here it hurts dont take advantage of it !
people ask me if im a virgo and ill straight out say that
I am idc
save it and b proud!!

well I know how you feel im only 13 but I've gone thro a cycle b 4 and
I understand where your coming 4rm
I've been with this one guy and weve been faithful with eachother
for a yr already
hes very resectful and all but lately weve been talkin bout
givin it up to eachother and I don't know bout it tho
c his dad has past away and he sweres to me that hes a virgo and
all but I here it hurts dont take advantage of it !
people ask me if im a virgo and ill straight out say that
I am idc
save it and b proud!!

That advice put me off it for life :^(

Dont do it kid
Im 16 going to be 17 real soon and I've been dating my guy for almost two years and we havnt had sex yet either we are going to save it If I can wait you can

ok, it only hurts the first few times, bexcause you have to get your cherry popped. but if you don't have your period you:
Wont have an org**m,
wont have a G spot,
Wont have any pleasure in sex
So, don't have sex before you mensturation cycle begins!!

im 15 trust me it dosen't hurt as much as girls make it out to be,its a lil uncomfortable 4 a while thts bout it,your still pretty young but remember you onli live once so have fun while you can. X_ABI_X

Shayla, I'm 15 and I haven't had sex yet. I'm not weird or socially retarded, actually I'm the opposite and have had SEVERAL offers to have sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I havevnot had sex with him. All of my friends pressure me to, but it doesn't matter to me. I'm pretty popular, but sometimes I wish I wasn't bcs of how hard it is to resist peer pressure sometimes. It really depends in how you feel about the person and whether or not YOU want to have sex yet. Remember, though that sex is forever, but virginity is not. You can take away your virginity any moment, but once you have sex you can never get it back. Make sure that you r SURE you want to have sex before you do. If you want to then it is perfectly ok and normal and you can go for it.

I'm a virgin but I don't think that way at all because when you lose your virginity It never going to come back don't mess up your life

if you have sex you will get pregant and die

I think that it is a good idea to hold back I think that your to young I no what you mean im 13 almost 14 and I want to do it but I no not to wellfirst of all because I already have my period but also its to young at why age you should wait awhile and never do it becuase someone else wants you to do it I understand that you dont want to let him down but you shodnt force yoru self jsut because of him so yah I mean its honestly your choice im nto sure if having sex before you have yoru period will effect anythign so yah but still if you are going to have sex use protection and make sure you know what to do like how to put a condem on and things liek that its very important. (virginity is important becuase there is a lot of things you can get from having sex liek STI'S STD's and more
good luv with your desicions I hope you dont get pressure again good luck if yu need to talk more to me abotu it jsut add me as a friend or somethign and I will give you more anyswers and my oppinions I hope this helped good luck bye

Shayla, I'm the same age as you. I've had sex with my boyfriend already...he's 16. He's pretty "big" for his age. I already have my period and I'm 100% safe at all times. I'm on the pill and we always use condoms. I think sex hurts for all girls when they first do it. To be honest I cried. If your not sure you love him then definately wait.

I hate that every 13-15 year old girl has asked a stupid question like this !

I cannot stress enough how stupid having sex at a young age is. You have you whole life to discover and enjoy sex with someone your married too and love. I'm 16 and still a virgin. Sure, my boyfriend wants to have sex with me. But just because he wants it, doesn't mean I have to have sex with him. I have more respect for myself than just giving my body away to a boyfriend just because we love each other. Your still a child. No matter how badly you think your a teenager or adult, your still too young. When I was 13 years old all I ever thought about doing was, riding my bike and going swimming and hanging out with my friends. Not getting f*cked like all the rest of these horny little kids are thinking now.

And seriously think about it, is maybe 30 minutes of pleasure worth 9 months of pain in labor and 18 years of your life raising another human being? I think not.