What do I do after seeing my girlfriend sleep with my best friend?

Okay, where do I start... I am 18 years old and I have been dating my girlfriend for just about half a year now (6 months), she is 16 and we have had so much fun together and we really do love eachother. We do everything together and we enjoy our time together and we also never miss out doing something that isn't together, basically we're together quite a lot lol. Anyway, she cheated on me one month into our relationship, well not really cheating, but she got naked on webcam to a guy on the internet while the other guy also got naked and they started playing on the webcam and flirting, she never told me though, I found out because I was with her on her internet-MSN a few days later and he asked her if she wanted to continue from the other night and I was like what the f*ck?, but anyway, no need to go into that, cheating or not, that is doing something behind your loved ones back without them knowing. Anyway, I forgave her for that one, and we have had a steady relationship since and a very good one... But, there is this guy (my best mate right), I have known him all my life, only thing is, my girlfriend hates him because whenever I go out with him, I do drugs so I had to stop seeing him just so my girlfriend will stop getting paranoid about me doing drugs, anyway, to the point of this whole question and advice! ... 3 days ago I was driving around with my girlfriend, everything was fine, completely sober, nothing was going on, but one of my girlfriends mates ring us and wanted picking up, it was around half 2 in the morning the Friday that has just gone, so obviously everyone is coming out of the clubs and that. But my girlfriends mate rings us and tells us to meet her, shes completely sober and she tells us that Jack (my best mate) is coming to meet her, I was thinking 'oh no, he doesn't get along with my girlfriend Karen' but my GFs mate said he wants to make it up to her. Anyway, I picked her and my best mate Jack up and everything seemed fine with m girlfriend Karen in the front and the two (Adelle - GFS mate and Jack - my best mate) in the back. Anyway, Jack suggested we all have a foursome around his house, I thought he was joking at first, I think we all did until we got to his house and suddenly we was all naked, it all went so fast. Anyway, now I thought it would just be me and my girlfriend Karen getting it on and Jack and Adelle getting it on elsewhere in the same room... But Jack wanted me to get on Adelle so Jack could get on my girlfriend, I was thinking 'what the f*ck', you know what I mean, suddenly I see Jack having sex with my girlfriend, and kissing my girlfriend (with tongues), and my girlfriend was enjoying it, I was thinking 'what the f*ck is this?', I was suppose to sleep with Adelle (GFS best mate) but I couldn't because it was out of order and wrong, I said 'errr look, Karen is loving it off Jack', Karen replied saying 'Well what do you expect, I've got a d*ck in me' ! I was heartbroken, I couldn't sleep with Adelle next to my girlfriend, I don't know how she could have slept with my ex best mate infront of me. I walked out and it took me a whole day to decide whether to stay with her or not... I am heartbroken and so is she, she really loves me, she was so upset, she told her parents and both her mum and dad had a long chat with me on the phone, she was so heartbroken and crying for a long time. I know she loves me and I really love her, I really do not want to lose her. Now since that has happened on Friday, she is doing everything to make it up to me because she really doesn't want to lose me, I am so depressed at the moment and when I am with her, I just can't stop thinking about what happened and I can't get it out of my head, she loves me and she is here for me and she is trying so hard to make me forget it and she is trying so hard to make it up to me but everytime I see her now, I just can't stop thinking of what happened that and I am so down from it. I hope you can give me advice as of what I should do now because I can not handle being with her knowing that she has slept with my best mate infront of me, she said she wasn't enjoying it and that but she damn as hell sounded like she enjoyed it when it was happening. I just do not know what to do and where to go from here, I need advice so badly in what to do. I am heartbroken and so is she, she said she will cut herself if she loses me (she has in the passed), she always says how she only wants me and no-one else and I know she only wants me, I know she loves me and she will do anything to keep me but this has happened now and I did say I'm giving her another chance, but everytime I am with her, I get down because of what happened, I can't have sex with her for a long time nor kiss her with tongues knowing that my best mate has been all over it 3 days ago... What can I do? What should I do? Where should I go from here? Any help and advice would be amazing, thankyou guys.

-Trystan

Huni listen, this girl does not love you, she was sober she cant even blame alcohol for this one. She has cheated in the past, she does not know what a real relationship is like and you HAVE EYES! you saw it yourself, the fact that YOUR girlfriend had no hesitation to strip and make out and have sex with your best friend without even as much as asking if its ok with you 1st, and when she saw you were shocked she didnt seem to care with her reply! she enjoyed it, you heard it, now that she has the chance at losing you all of the sudden she didnt enjoy it...bull! she is taking you for a ride.

I understand that you love her, but this girl does not treat you right. She is getting her mum and dad to call you, thats just a kiss-arse job at trying to make you stay by having her parents call you so she guilts you into staying, did she happen to tell her parents why your having a rough patch? the fact she let your best mate put his d*ck in her right infront of you and disrespected you like that? because I bet her parents would then say to you RUN! dont stay with her. I honestly think you should not take her back, you did once after she cheated on you, this time it was right in your face! how could you ever look at her again with nothing but disgust? you need to leave this in the past, along with her and your 'mate' and find a proper young lady who treats you right, and loves only you. You deserve that, not this.

HMMM! That is very frequent when a g/f finds her b/f' s best friend nice and attractive. Think of it, this is natural, your best friend somehow fits to your personality, and your g/f will feel this, and sympathize with him, since the nature of the two boys fit to each other, often complementarily. Who loves you may extend this feeling to your best mate, since your best mate is that with who you can spend your time the best. And it is not bad if somebody is not envy his best mate, even share something with him. The foursome that you missed was a nice present for you from your life, and from your friends, but you did not recognized this. I think you should stop doing drugs immediately and content yourself with the reeal life, e.g. a good foursome sex with nice friends, that is much more interesting and felicific that any drug can be. I do not know what is a foursome like, but I know about threesomes a little. And I can assure you that you should have done first the other girl and after your g/f, then laught at the life with all of them. You are young, you are free, you enjoyed each others your body. It is interesting to watch your g/f orgasming by somebody else, then go into her and making her cumming again. If you stay at drugs you will miss a lot of interesting at your life, and you will be heartbroken all of your life. But you are only 18, so you may have other change. Do not blame your g/f and mate because of that they chose the real excitement of the life instead of the artificially induced pseudo-satisfaction. The choice is yours!

Yeah I guess you are right locoluna, thanks to both of you for replying. She is playing me for a fool and using me and taking me for a free ride... She did enjoy it, but as soon as splitting up comes into mind, she suddenly hated it, I didn't think of it like that. Thankyou guys for taking the time to read my problem, is there anymore advice I can possibly have on this matter? I really need it, I know it is my choice, but I just want to see what everyone else would do in this situation.

You are welcome, anytime. But honestly when I really think about it and put myself in your shoes and imagine my boyfriend stripping and having sex wit my best friend and watching him really enjoying himself not giving a rats about my feelings on the situation I want to throw up! I would never be able to look at him again and would definetly leave him no matter how much he begs for me to stay, its just a horrible situation to think about and im really sorry its actually your reality. Do the right thing by yourself and leave this situation behind along with her!

it's true it's your choice, & b/c is your choice my adv is this:
God(& if you don't belive in God, than whom ever or what ever) puts us into places, Situations, put people in our ways of all kinds, but you know who decides what & who's good or bad: US, in this case YOU. think about how you felt, think about the definition of respct to YOU, the definition of LOVE to YOU. what are you looking for in someone, if you're scare that you won't find it in someone else, in somemone that shows you that love that you working to have, than you're right, you won't find it, first change your attitude & put you pride up, how ? well you know who you are better than anyone that can give you an advise.in life you get what you want as long as you have the courage to fight & resist what comes with it.
from my point of view, she is manipulating you, you won't loose her, she is lost already, you need to do you, care about you, this girl needs time to grow up. & you need space to forgive her, not forget, b/c you would never forget, just make sure if you do forgive her that you could live with that in your mind.
Personally I think you're too good to be even thinking about being with her.
my best advise give yourself the necessary time to be ok, to find that happiness that is within yourself.
you should of made sure that you guys were playing before you guys got to his house, & why did YOU take off your cloth? why you let her take off hers? why did you let it get so far between them, so I can't say it's all her fault.
REMEMBER WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, RELIGIONS, RACES, COUNTRIES, MY POINT IS WE HAVE DIFFERENT BELIEVES, & THE WAY THAT WE THINK WE THINK IT MOSTLY B/C OF THE WAY WE GROW UP, SO ONLY YOUR HEAR IS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE ADVISE THAT YOU NEED.
ME PERSONALY, AFTER ALL THAT, EVEN IF I LET IT GO TO FAR MYSELF, I WILL WALK AWAY FROM HER, LET HER GROW & INVERT A YOUR TIME IN YOURSELF, & WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT YOU'LL DOTHE RIGHT THING.

Y.B

what I would do is get ride of her bc all she is doin is causing you pain!!! And you can't let her control you by sayin if I dont have you then I am going to cut myself because that is not your fault, she did this to her self !! So do what makes you happy!! don't worry about her she has hurt you enogh in my book!!! hope evrything works out for you!!

There's no question that this girl doesn't really love you. If she did she couldn't treat you that way. I think the question of whether or not to dump her is a no-brainer, she's got to go.

The big issue is that your friend can still walk properly. You need to take care of yourself, and that means grabbing a bat or something heavy and making sure he 'understands' that only the epitome of scum would consider that behavior. If my best friend ever even suggested it, they'd find his body in the bay, and that's not an exaggeration.

hey. well heres what I think. I think that you need to tell her that you dont feel comfertable around her and that she lost your trust. She shouldnt have slept with him.. thats the truth and there are no excuses. If I did that with my boyfriend.. he would go off and probably would have knocked him out. and prob. me aswell. I dont think that she loves you as much as she says she does.. if she did then she would have said no to that guy and told you to come back over there. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 1 year in september and I wounld never even think about cheating on him. so I don't know I hope this maybe helped some. and im sorry to hear about her..
liz

im sorry to say but if she cheated before then it really wasn't right of her at all...I was dating a guy for over a year to find out he cheated on me 'kinda' so I forgave him but later in our relationship since I forgave him for that he tohught he would be able to get away with other things...he ended up having sex with 6 other people and I really thought I loved him and I thought he loved me to.

I know this really didn't help you I'm just putting in my info

Lose her like a suitcase full of AIDS!!! You are young and will find someone that won't enjoy banging other people...Period.

well sorry but id would not go back with her because of that. but thats just stupid what she did id beet the S*** out of my friend and leave her because she did that. even if she wants you back I wouldnt go back. and if she says she didnt enjoy that why the f***didnt she stop him from doin that or you could have dun it so go with my advice I no what im talkin about because the same thing happend to me .

I am sorry to have to say this, but I fear you have crossed a line that can never be undone. Save yourself a lot of misery, depression, and unhappiness. Break up with her. If it is meant to be (which I don't think it is since that happened) you will end back up together. For now, you need space. You need to focus on you and get away from that. It is unhealthy to put yourself through something in hopes that everything goes back to the way it was. I endured something similar, and believe me, it never fully goes back to normal. Eventually you will become numb... to her, to the relationship, to everything. End it now. It took me six additional months to figure that out.

Tell her the only way you can get it out of your head is if you have a threesome with her and her best friend. Then dump her.

alright man you gotta look at it from a realsitic point of view. You are thinking with your emotions not your brain. In the end you know a continious relationship can never work after this happened. and no matter how much you want to keep her you cant feel better after what happened. It sucks but I hate to tell you but you should break up with her and find another girl. Or start dating other people and youll feel a lot better about what happened. It wont be on your mind. Focus on other things as well. Like work, lifting weights, friends etc. Find a way not to think about it so much.
I've wasted a lot of precious time trying to figure out my relationships after things like that, and its really a waste after you find nother girl your going to be like '' damn why the hell did I even waste my time moping about everything '' be real and be real with your self!!!

Sober... thats what makes this very simple to understand. Nobody (at least from what I'm understanding) neither you your girlfriend or your friends had any kind of intoxicant in your bodies. A boyfriend and girlfriend that really have a true love bond dont let anyone ruin it, not even by temptation. If this girl really loves you like you say, then she would have immediately refused the idea of your best mate putting his hands on her. YOUR BEST MATE! Surely she knows the friendship you two had, but still went ahead and had sex with him. In my opinion sex (with the one you love, if you indeed love them) is supposed to be something beautiful. But she made that all sh*t by doing what she did. If she cheated in front YOUR FACE darling she will cheat behind your back. The first time should have kind of told you something. She was naked for the eyes of another guy to see, surely she didnt have you in mind or did this with the 'best intention'// Its quite simple. She doesnt love you as much as you think. Care, maybe.. love possibly... but I think your the only one really inlove in this situation. I suggest you give yourself some time away from her considering you have mentioned all the time you spend. She might be a free spirited girl, but when one loves, one commits with no question. Seems like your alone on this one dearest.
Seems my answer is rather late in this dilema...
Maybe you've fixed it.. and if you have I hope you've made the right decision
if you still havent my best wishes and hope I helped.

Ok, I can't say that I'm an expert in this situation, but I can give you my opinion about the whole thing. First of all she was very wrong and she disrespected you totally by having sex with your best friend in front of you, I think you should not get back with her because she was done it twice already and it doesn't seem like she will change. But when you kick her to curb make sure you talk to her to make sure she is okey, tell her parents about the fact that she said she will cut herself if your leave her, just to keep her safe and okey!...WELL I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU!

Dude, she cheated on you right in front of your face. She lets people look at her butt naked online with other men naked aswell--right next to her. She told you they were only playing around on the camera. Do you not think that it's more likely she slept with those men? Or man, if there was only one. I mean, she's f*cked your best mate right in front of your face, so why is there a reason that she didn't f*ck the man or men she 'played' with on the webcam. Afterall, you've never even seen it, so you can never know for sure that they didn't touch each other. I have to say, your girlfriend is a total whorebag, and for your safety, emotionally, leave her for good. Move on. She's tricking you and I am so sure of it.

Ok I jsut have one quesiton. Do you buy her lots of things? Do you spoil her at all beacuse if so that she just wants to use you for a free ride. If I was you mate I would dump her asap. Any girl that can get naked and screw their boyfriends best friend, In front of them obviously can;t love them that much. Also how do you knwo its only one guy that she showed on webcam for? Im sure you jsut happened to catch her that time. Usually for ever one time someone is caught there is 5-10 times they are not. Just dump her and black every aspect of her from your life. You can do so much better than her. Find someone that wont jump at ever guy that will drop their pants. Just break it off and move on it isnt even worth the stress.

Hy, man...let me tell you something...I am very young, but I know love...but I no that she cheated on you when she was sober...I mean come on...doesnt that tell you something, but at the same time I as well have a friend that cuts herself...so what you need to do is just say you to will be very good friends, but that 'this relationsip broke my heart'...and say that 'maybe in the future, and when everything has passed and I know that you would never break my heart again...I will be loved bye you once more',...but make it less...ummm...dramatic, k?but waht you need to really explain to her is that you do still love her...and that you to could care for eachother without kissing or having sex, again!(this advice should only be used if you'd like, k!just trying' to help out)

-CJ

three steps

1. dump her

2. put your 'best mate' on life support(kick the shi*out of him)

3. find a new girlfriend or screw her friend sicne they said it was cool

I have been in the same situation except worse becuase my best friend and boyfriend had been sneakying behind my back for weeks..

long story short you say you can't get it out of your head when you with her.. and your upset when your with her..

so find someone who helps you forget.. who makes you happy..

like maybe a guy friends, not nessecarily a girlfriend.. maybe just a friend.. you'll need time for this one.. trust me.. I know

hi

Its not about loving you or not. I'm sure she thinks she does. But she is 16 and has no idea what she is doing or whats going on. Just tell her you need a break and you need to not speak for a full month. Then once you get some distance and time between this so you can be rational, ask yourself if you still like her and go from there. But remember no calling her or changing your mind during the month. Clear break. Don't be mean just say you need some time alone to get over it. You will be in a good position at the end of the month.

OMG
you lettin a girl take you for a mug ?
hun , tell her to jog on
NOONE deserves that
best friend and loved one . that must hurt
my x boyfriend and my sister slept together
I never ever spoke to him again we was together a year
and I never will speak to my sister again
people like etaht who are willing to hurt the people that they love the most are worth nothin

she sounds like a sl*t

if she does it infront of your face then think what she must do behind your back ??

good luk hun
no matter how hard it is your be fine without her
you be better without her
even though you really love her
you gott let her go

hey dude I just had somthin similar happen to me. please fun mail me an tell me what you ended up doing please

Wow... This is very sad. But first of all I say, drop the drugs. That's bad for you. And second of all, this girl does not love you. The way she sounds, it's as though she's a total slut. She doesn't love you, if she loved you, she wouldn't have had sex with your best friend and ENJOYED it. You can't be with someone like that. I mean first she screws you over with the internet web cam thing, and now this? Seriously, she is using your love as an advantage. She's completely in control of the relationship right now. And you need to show her who's boss. You gotta dump her. Even if you love her, it seems you always look to the other side of what she's doing. Because you keep believing that you love her, it puts you in a weak state and allows only forgiveness. But that needs to end. You have to put her behind you. And if this girl really loved you she wouldn't want you to forget about what had happened that night. She would want you to remember it and forgive. That's what true love is. You can't make someone forget something. You just have to deal with it and move on. because no matter what, that memory will always be there. She obviously doesn't understand that. If she's done something bad to you twice already, there will probably be more times. Dump her and get it over with, you deserve better.

what kind of best friend is that?
and what kind of girlfriend is that?
dump both of them.
good luck.

holy way too much to read

listen, you are wanting a more secure relationship, she isn't. Some people are more free in their relationships, thus you have seen this girl be more 'free' than you would like.. and it wont stop here.. trust me.. you need to end the relationship and get with someone who is more serious and is wanting a more secure relationship.

When you start a new one tho, dont let the insecurities of this last relationship f*ck up the new one

Read Othello, how genuis!

Hold up Hold up before you do anything dumb

First off, Shorten your post, its just to long

It takes real strength, trust, and commitment to allow your partner to have sex with other people. My wife lets me do it, and if she wanted to I'd let her do it. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your probably missed out on a rare opputurnity that you'll probably wish you could go back to and relive.

Give your girl a chance, you seem to really care for her. There is no reason to start all over again to search for someone new. Sometimes people need some maturing . Give her a chance, but let her know that she is on a TIGHT leash

shoot him. if you love her w/e if you dont... there are more out there

Your girl doesn't love you and neither does your friend. Do yourself a favor and drop them both!