I hate my race, can you please help?

okay, so I'm Chinese, and I'm kind of ashamed of admitting this; but I really hate my race. I'd always wish I'm some other race...ANY race. just not asian. this chick came up to me today (god, this was so random) and she was like hey you look really...

asian

and that ruined my WHOLE DAY.

part of why I hate it is that everyone assumes I have a certain personality...you know what I mean? like I MUST love anime or else. and quite honestly, I hate the whole asian trend...the whole pretending to be 5 years old and doing puppy faces for the camera with retarted pink backgrounds. I also really hate asians who try to be gangster, god that is just so annoying. and the goth asians too. and the super slutty ones...and the nerdy ones...so basically all of them.

and plus, everyone expects asians to be really smart, and so when I get like an A on a test, I'd be happy because I worked so hard, but then people would be like well duh, you're asian. well they don't say it, but everyone thinks that. and they don't realize that we're not genetically programmed to be smarter than them, we just work harder.

plus I really hate looking asian. (I'm not that asian looking though, I'm really tall, and don't have chinky eyes, and some people don't even know my race sometimes...and I was like so proud of myself when people thought I was mexican)

but anyway...it's just so hard to like myself because I hate my race.

*I didn't mean to be racist with this post...it's just that I really need help getting over this and being ok with myself.*

every one of every race is different I'm black short hate basket ball and can't play it to save my life but I wrestle don't see your self as asian see your self as human think their is no race there are only people and when you get A's you are smart I get A some times to should I get a cookie and I love anime but I'm not realy that silly so be who you are not by race by personality and stop hating those other asians to anyone can be goth anyone can be gangster even white people race is all most history so be you and don't let race get in your way of anything

I spent the better part of my teenage years wishing I was Asian, because of the profound respect I have for the Asian culture.

I think, at some point, almost everyone wants to be something different, and no matter what race you are, you're bound to encounter stereotypes. I want to scream everytime someone accuses me of saying the word aboot (I'm Canadian, eh!), but we learn to live with who we are and be proud of the things that make us different.

I hope eventually you'll accept who you are, because a lot of people like myself are wishing we could be you!

suthasini and fau

You both are being ridiculous and totally stupid.I'm Asian and Im PROUD of it!To hell with anyone else who has a problem with me being Asian!And as for those non-Asians who expect all Asians to be smart and all-you want to be idiots like them?Dumb whites like those bunch(NO OFFENCE TO ANY WHITES,OFCOUYRSE,JSUT THE TYPE IM TALKING ABOUT)

only idiots expect things from everyone of an intire race
you should be proud of who you are
be proud that you can choose what to beleive in, what trends to follow, how to dress, how to act, what to learn aboutm, ect
no one makes that decision for you
you make it
...everything that you do is part of who you are
it doesnt have anything to do with your intire race
heaps of chinese people hate anime...and heaps of non-chinese people love it
you dont have to follow what random people expect of you
because those those people should mean anything to you
and you should let them affect your decisions

A lot of your problem seems to come from other people... Because they assume certain things. And you know stereotypes are stupid but people will be people... So what if they think certain things?

And you're right, a lot of what people dont know is that in Asia (and these are studies I've read), the people are not just genetically smarter. They work harder, because parents dont see school success and failure as an innate thing but as a result of how hard you work. So parents arent satisfied with low grades because that's the best they could do.

So what if people think it's just because you were born smarter? You know you worked harder, who cares what they think? And hey, they automatically assume you're smart, isnt that better than automatically assuming you're stupid?

As for disliking the whole Asian trend, I feel for you, my ethnic background is Indian and I cant stand a lot of things traditionally indian (well apart from the food). But so what? So you dont like certain things from your ethnic culture... Doesnt make it your culture... Your culture is what you choose it to be... Again, who cares what people assume? People can be very stupid...

At the end of the day you're stereotyping just like those other people (who we've already noted are being really stupid). You know not all Chinese people are the same... You know that cultural fads dont mean all Chinese people love them or are like that. Hating yourself because other people have issues is, well honestly a little sad. I know it's easier said than done, but try and learn to look past the idiots and their narrowminded beliefs (and maybe try to get past your own narrowmindedness), I mean how do you feel about your family?

Don't know what events triggered all this for you but you're going to have to make a CONSCIOUS effort to find things to praise about your Chinese heritage and about yourself as an individual. The only other option is to continue to feel this wait which is going to lead you to expressing your feelings to your family who will probably be offended because to hate your own Chinese-ness is to hate theirs, too. So this is what you have to start doing - write a list of the things you like about Chinese culture. Write down every little thing that comes to mind no matter what it is. One catch - every comment MUST be phrased positively. You can't write things like we don't do this. It has to be an affirmative statement like we do ... Also you can't write negative comments about other races (we're not trying to make you feel better about yourself by hating others). Add to the list often (daily is best) and carry it with you. Whenever you feel yourself getting all negative about Asians, read your list and say out loud why whatever you're thinking is not true. IF you're in a place where you can't get your list out, think of something on your list and try to hold it in your mind for a couple of minutes. It's going to take time, but this will totally work in changing your perspective. Again, this is totally conscious (meaning you're aware and participating) work.

I also suggest you have a separate list of things you like about you. The same rules apply as above (positive things, can't use any negative words on your list like not, never, don't, etc). Carry it with you, add to it.

If you don't already, keep a journal of your experience as you do this list thing. In that you can write how you feel (you can be negative in your journal) but be HONEST.

Last bit of advice and people usually don't like this bit - Find a counselor. It's hard and can feel really condemning to feel shame about your race/ethnicity but this is really about self-image. Don't feel like you have to choose an Asian counselor because you're Asian. Choose someone that makes you feel comfortable so that you can feel safe to be honest.

You can totally get past this if you put in a little work. I would love to hear how you do on this (or have done since this post is several months old).

Good luck.

I'm a Thai girl and I hate my race also. I never thought that asians are beautiful. I wish I was white. I hate flat nose, big head, no curve, short-leg, and single eye lid. And I just feel sad to be asian. how can I get rid of this feeling.

everyone is different, im chinese and im proud of it.I like to think there are so many hot guys and talented people in china like jay chou and stuff.lol.yeah I love my race and we have the most people in the world lol.(not ment to be racist) so yeah.good luck with liking yourself. :D

Nothing wrong with being asian There are probably more asians in the world than any other race, and they have invented some pretty amazing things...be proud of your heritage

be proud of who you are, im a lot of diff thingz, kinda, im not ashamed except the part of me thatz japaniez because people say thingz like, oochie wa wa and stuff to make me feel bad, lolz tho

dont hate your race because everybody is important. I kow you r being sterotyped, but you r unigue. there is no one on earth like you find your ni che and make the best out of it.

I'm a mix of almost everything but I'm mostly Irish and I quite typical ... you know, pale, short, round faced, ... I know what you mean about stereotypes though. Everyone assumes that I kick azz at in drinking games and stuff but I've actually never had a sip of alcohol in my life. You know that episode of family guy where peter goes to Ireland to find his real dad, well everytime I see that episode I swear I almost pizz myself because that's basiclly how everyone else in my family is, obnoxious, loud, drinks... a lot, always singing those stupid Irish songs.. Even in the background at the pub in Ireland with the horseshoes all over the place... That's like my grandfathers livingroom. LOL! And how they were all banging their hands on the table when they laughed... Its so funny because those stereotypes are true for my family. But we have fun so who cares.