I feel horriiiblleee.please i dont know what to do.

okay this is a message on a social site between me and my b/f. and so far I really dont know what I should do and the message starts at the bottom and ends at the top. I seriously need help.here is what happend monday though. we were at a part in the...

park were no one goes. we were havin a moment and he was going a lil further than a grope. and he kept wanting to have sex and kept kinda pressuring me to have it. and I didnt want to. and I dont know. I tried to talk to him but I thought it would be kinda weird. so just read and tell me what you think.

this is me speaking.

sorry for being like that seriously. and thankyou for respecting me. and I love you a lot dylan and im not just saying that. and yeah I know its not if I keep acting this stuipid. =/. and I know it is for you. it is for me as well dylan. and I mean the 8th thing as in 8th period ahah.
and yes I do know how special it is. I know how you feel about it as well. and you are not like any other guy if you were like any other guy I wouldnt be with you. but your different and thats what I love about you. and I love you so much. and I know your not like that dylan.and I know I want to as well dylan you have no idea. and I know I thought it wasnt getting to me at all I really dont understand that part with my head I guess thats how she works that evil b***...and I know all about that stuff kay. ha. and I know I knowww.. :/.. and I knowww your not afraid haha. you dont have to tell me that. and iknow they exisisttt. haha.
and I cant get birth conroll because of the effect it first had on me the first time I think I was going to ask her any way
because my periods suck and you know what I mean. and I know that you would never hurt me ever... and I dont want to either. and what do you mean by if this is situation is for us or not. and do it next time I see you and YESSS DYLAN I WANT TO! I love you god dammit. and heyy. and I mean I really love you god dammit. I just never really expected it at all. and I mean at all.
--- Original Message ---
From: pickle ( I love you summer!!!)
Date: Jan 7, 2009 4:16 PM

this is my b/f speaking.

ya you are pretty complecated, but well I can respect you, the one I love, if your not ready then of course its not going to happen... but its just a thought thats always in my head, im a guy your a girl, its unbearable...what did you mean by I tempeed you in the 8th? I didnt understand that did you mean grade? but cool... id love to have sex with you and well you know I know how important it is and how special it is, and thats why I was wanting to share it with one I truely love ok and no I dont think like other guys just saying that to everygirl, oh your the one I love let me stick you with penis, ok im not like that and you should know that more then anyone... its a special moment I want to spend with you... and dont let your mom get to you you need to understand that the only storys that make it wherever are basically only of teenagers because there teenagers and thats why your histerical about it is becuase your hearing stories of teens geting knoked up ok theres like a one in 2000% chance that I knock you up and thats only if I take a 1 out of 100% chance of not wearing a condom... so altogether its like a 1 in 200000% chance of you getting knocked up ok so please dont let that get to you... ok condoms are awesome and im not affraid to use one, sometimes I think you forget that contreseptives actually exist... I don't know just talk to your mom about being put on birth controll again about your periods, and hopefully thatll make you feel better about the whole situation... hopefully for us thats the case ok I love you and would never want to hurt you, so just tell me streight up if this situation is for us or not, because its startn to bug me the whole ok ill do it next time I see you and then that time comes around, do you want to do it ? IM NOT READY DAMNIT!!! its like telling a fat person ill back you a cake for you then telling them that theyre to fat and they decided not to bake them that cake in hopes they would loose a few pounds... but then that fat person just gets sad and goes and eats a lot more of random s*** to where she ends up gaining 150 in 1 week so watch out what you say... its dangerous///
--- Original Message ---
From: summer.sens.(I love you dylan)
Date: Jan 5, 2009 6:40 PM

haha. well I found a way to explain it well. ha. so here it is.
I know this should be done in person. but to be honest with you.
im not good at talking about this to guys especially to the one I love. I no I should be able to do talk to you about any thing.
but I've never talked about this better yet done any thing like that. haha. =D. but here is the explanation and this is why I cant really explain any thing because I really dont know what I feel.
you tempt me a lot especially in 8th haha. and you always do.
and I want to a lot and I mean a lot. but there is just something
about me that makes me afraid. I guess moms talks have sunk in and I just didnt know it. you know. and she does have good points. like the pregnency and and all that good stuff. dont get me wrong I really want to its just the fear that I get I don't know what I fear of but just bear with me here. and I have been told
that you will know when your ready when it just happens and
its when you dont even have to think about it. and when you want to have sex. and im feeling like that it makes me feel worse than I already feel. and I still do. I reaalllyyy want to dylan like you dont even know. but I don't know. I really dont know.
I love you with my life and im not afraid of commitment its something else but its kinda all of what I said haha.
like just everything.. I want you in my life forever.
and I would love to. but its just the time and place you knwo not really time more of the place haha. but to be honest I just reallly dont know im sorry that im complicated and emotional I really dont know what I am feeling any more.
=(

but I really need help im really going crazy over this plzzz.. PLZZZ!!!

Don't have sex if you don't want to. He can wait. He has hands doesn't he? I know what you mean with the whole wanting to do thing. My boyfriend was exactly the same - and it made me feel bad everytime I said no. In the end I said I would if the time was right and we used protection. And I was scared that he'd ever get any. I felt like I wanted to - but didn't. So yeah make sure you realllyyy want to before. Ask him to give you a time that your gunna do it - like the date? So that you can be more prepared and ready instead of him saying 'wanna do it?'. Hope I helped.

sounds like you guys fixed evrything

if you wanted to have sex you should have done it there but since you weren't ready you really should be happy with the choice you make but when you do decide to have sex use a condom or birth control pills unless you truly are ready to start a family and you have been bound in marrige