:( i don't know.

I'm 14 and I've been stuck in a damn depression (or at least it feels like it) for a long time now and I can't shake it off. I try to think about positive things and smile but I just find myself getting angry. I don't like hanging out or being around my...

friends, or anyone for that matter.
I'm constantly angry and I find myself crying from just sitting in my room drawing. I sometimes think about killing myself but I don't because I have no reason to because I know there are people with problems much worse than mine. I've also been having constant nightmares for over a year.

Recently (I don't know if it has anything to do with this but) my sister keeps threatening to kill herself and my mom says I hold her back in life, my sister and 3 of my friends cut and 1 of my friends tried to committ suicide. I think I blame myself. I tell myself it's not my fault but I don't know if I believe myself.

I just don't know what to do. What can I do? I hate feeling this way. Please don't say see a counsler or tell your parents. I don't want anyone to know. I need to fix this myself.

Wow, you've been through a lot. It's tough enough dealing with one friend who self harms, but dealing with three friends who are depressed and hurt themselves, one who is suicidally depressed, and a sister who is also really depressed, and a mother who well is unfairly blaming you for your problems... You must be a really strong person to be able to deal with so much. And well, I dont really blame you for being angry and unhappy, and not wanting to be around your friends who are also depressed. You're going through a lot, in addition to just being a teen and regular teen stuff. You've obviously been trying to fix this yourself. And it hasnt worked. And you know what, maybe you need to talk to someone to help you fix it. Because no matter how strong you are, sometimes you need someone else to talk to, someone who can help you sort things out and someone who can help you deal with stuff that you know on a rational level is not something you are responsible for. I am sorry, but I dont know what else to tell you. You have so much on your plate at that age, and I really think you should let someone help you out with it. Just a little. A counselor might surprise you

I was really dperessed like that and I tried getting out of it myself but it seemed impossible. It just got worse. My hubby and I were fighting all the time and I didn't know why. I had nightmares and I was very restless. I thought about killing myself a lot but I didn't want to. I even thought of hurting my baby sometimes. I would never do anything to her! I went to my doctor and told him how I was feeling. He gave me a prescription for it. I was on it for a month and now I enjoy being with my friends again.

The things you've shared are very private and I understand you not wanting to tell anyone. You know what though- its very common- especially for teenagers BUT that doesnt mean you should accept it. You need to talk to someone- what you tell a counselor is between you and that counselor unless you tell him or her you are gonna go home and kill yourself or someone else. They can help you. It is NOTHING to be embarrassed about- as you know you have friends that have experienced the same feelings. Unless of course - you want to feel excrutiating emotional pain on a daily basis. Come on - you can even go to your school guidance counselor-thats what they are there for!

I'm in the same position as you I am the same age as you aswell I know wot you are going through x