I'm pregnant, and I want him back

Almost four years ago, I met this guy. I was just starting my sophomore year in High School, and I was so excited to start dating. We went out, and I really liked hanging out with him. I always had so much fun, but for some reason, I wasn't too interested in him. He was interested in me though, so it was very hard because I didn't want to lead him on. I told myself that I would go on one more date with him, and if I still didn't feel anything, I would let him know. Well, something different happened that night, and I saw a side of him I never knew existed. I was slowly falling for this guy! We finally made things official, and it was one of the best relationships I have been in. Before too long, we were completely in love and we spent every day together. This went on for two more years, until the beginning of my senior year. Our relationship had been good for the most part, I mean, we ran into occasional problems, but that happens in every relationship. By the time my senior year rolled around, I was ready to be on my own and experience new things, so I started dating other people. He did too, but he wasn't too into it. By then, he really wanted to get married and he didn't want anyone but me. Even though I was dating other people, I still kept him around all of the time. I'll admit it, I was in heaven. I could do what I wanted and be free, but I still had him tied around my finger. Now that I look back on it, I took him for granted and I took advantage of him. I thought he would always be there, therefor, I didn't really care what I did. I hurt him so bad, and now I am really paying for it! You must think I am the most horrible person, but I'm really not! I just wanted to be young and free. Well, I moved away for college, but we were still very close. We talked on the phone every day and we still saw each other quite a bit. I was still dating others though. Before I moved away, the longest we had went without seeing each other, was a week, and the longest we had went without talking was three days, at the most. He was always such a big part of my life, and now, he always will be.
Well, things started to get hard at college and I wasn't liking anyone I was dating. In fact, I was starting to realize that I cared about Brandon (the guy I have been talking about) more than I thought I did, and I was starting to think that I possibly wanted to be with him. I told him this, and his response was heartbreaking. He just told me that he had waited for me for years, and he had done everything he could to make things work with us, even though he got hurt over and over again. He just told me that he didn't know if it was right with us anymore. This past Christmas, I went home, and I spent a lot of time with him while I was there. After that, I went back to college, and a week before I found out something that would change my life forever, he told me that he was starting to realize that we weren't right and that we never would be, and even worse, he was falling in love with someone else. Well, a week after, I found out I was pregnant and he is the father.
The pregnancy has been very difficult because I have been on my own for most of the time. I mean, I have my family and friends, and they have been very supportive, but nothing compares to Brandon. (the father) He has hurt me pretty bad throughout the pregnancy, but I still want to be with him more than anything, and it's not just because I am pregnant. He is now so in love with this new girl, and that seems to be all he cares about. I know he tries to be there for me, but it's hard for him because he doesn't love me like that anymore. He is getting a little better though, and he is coming to my doctors appointment tomorrow. It is very hard because I know I had my chance with him before, and I hurt him very badly. He deserves this chance to see what he wants, and to be happy with this other girl, but in my opinion, me being pregnant kind of changes the situation. He always says how much he loves her, but yet, he still has conversations with me about sex, and he even cheated on her with me when I was home last weekend. He says that it doesn't mean he has feelings for me, he's just used to being like that when I'm around, and when he thinks about sexual things, I'm the only one he has to relate to that. He told her what happened, and at first, she just forgave him! But, after it kept going on, she finally broke up with him. I know he regrets what he did and he wants her back so bad. I still think there is hope for us, but I don't know what to do! Please help!

I think your a terrible person to know hes with someone else and he loves her a lot and your still sleeping with him. I bet you got pregnant on purpose so you could manipulate him to stay with you.

and how could you be with someone when you know he wants who he loves so bad, and its not you. but he cheatted on that poor girl so maybe hes just as rotten as you and you two deserve eachother. I hope that other girl he loved has a better life then both of you put together

Well first of all you are in a situation in which you are still loving on your ex but he has a girlfriend and your still sleeping with him. You are wrong when it comes down to that. But im not going to criticize you because I know exactly how you feel cause I messed over my ex and now I want him back also. The best advice I can give you is to try and move on. Surround yourself with the people that love you the most so that you can get your mind off of him because both of you guys are wrong in the things you did. So to make things better, focus on the baby instead of trying to get back with your ex cause even if you two do get back together, its never going to be the same and who knows what he might be doing to get his ex back. So try to keep a relationship with him just as friends instead of friends with benefits and do what you got to do to make you feel better and go on with your life and let him to and if its really meant to be, you and Brandon will get back together in the future. BE patient and keep your head up. GOOD Luck!!!!!!!!

WELL LIKE HE BROKE UP WITH HER AND IF I WAS you I WILL TAKE THE RISK 2 GO BACK OUT WITH HIM SO you SHOULD INVINT HIM OVER YOUR HOUSE BUT BE ALONE MAKE A SPECAIL DANIER AND HAVE YOUR BED REALLY SO you SHOULD MAKE BELIVE you GOING 2 GET A DRINK BUT you TRIP OVER HIM and RIGHT THERE KISS HIM and TRY 2 TAKE HIM 2 YOUR BED
P.S YOUR GOOD FRIEND ADVICER.

NO YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON! It was wrong to sleep with him knowing how he felt about his girl friend, but it was more wrong of him to sleep with you. Being used to acting that way around you is no excuse if he had such deep feelings for this other broad. I understand exactly how you feel, and thats why I signed up, so I could put this answer up there. It's so hard to realize the mistakes you've made with someone you love, especially when you're carrying their baby. I have no idea what to say to you to make it all better but if he really loved you as much as he said he did for all that time there must be some way that time can heal your relationship. Just don't give up trying to prove to him how much you love him, and I sincerely hope that he'll open his eyes to it and realize that people make mistakes, especially teenagers, and nothing you've said sounds so heinous that it's irreversible.

Well, it has been more than a year since I posted that first message. A LOT has happened since then! I just remembered about this web site, and thought I would check out some of my responses. Well, I had my baby in September. His name is Trevan and he is 7 months old. He is a lot of work, but such a blast! He is definitely such a blessing in my life! Brandon (Trev's father) is now engaged to that same girl. We have had our ups and downs in raising Trevan so far, but we're doing pretty well. He has been back and fourth a lot between his fiance and I, but they are getting married in less than two weeks. It hurts more than anything, but I have learned to deal with it. I'm just worried for him, because he has proved to me that he's not ready. He still talks to me about sex all of the time, and he has actually considered cheating on her with me already. I am not the kind of girl to get into that sort of situation and hurt someone else, but it's so hard because I still have the same feelings for him and I miss him. According to him, they haven't had sex yet because they are waiting, and he uses that excuse of why he thinks of me in that way and not her. Also, he has said that he misses everything with us and that sometimes, he wishes we could've worked things out because he thinks we really could have been happy in the end. He said that just yesterday. I think he is just scared about the process of getting to that point after everything I put him through, which is understandable. I'm worried that he is marrying her because it's safe...Well, I would be up for any advice that anyone has to offer...

all I can say is I know how you feel b/c I;ve been in that situation with my daughters father and its been four years. hes done had other kids and all and I still love him so much and still will except him back into my life. but I think its all b/c I cant have him.is part of me wanting him so much.I wish you the best. dont waste your time. just build a life for you and (trev )and make sure you pray youll be fine. what dont kill you will only make you stronger. be strong for you and your son and move on!!! thats easy to say right ? I've learned real love never dies it may subside but it never dies thats true love I said. youll always have a part him.