Husband thinks i'm cheating and i'm not. what should i

I#039;ve been married for almost 5 years but before I got married I cheated on him. Till this day his hurt about and I feel he does not trust me. Last night, he woke up and told me he had a dream that I was cheating on him. He also said he had the...

same dream about 3 to 4 weeks ago. I#039;m not cheating. What should I do to ease him off the untrust situation? What can I say or do to help him trust me again? Please help! I#039;ve tried to get him to go with me to see my therapist but he refuses.

It is sad really, you say you cheated on him before you were married to him. There was no trust in this marriage from the start. You and your husband should have discussed this issue before you were even considering marriage. You see, your husband does not trust you. He may never trust you. Trust is a foundation that marriage is built on. I can#039;t honestly say I blame him for not trusting you. I#039;m sorry, but that is the truth. I think that counseling for the BOTH of you is your best bet. He may not want to go, but if I were you, I#039;d let him know that your marriage is in jeopardy. After all honey, you wouldn#039;t want to spend the rest of your life with a man who is going to punish you and resent you for something you did before you were married, now do you? Good luck!

What does your therapist say about this?

I assume you#039;ve told him, over and over, that you are sorry. I assume, you have been doing whatever it takes to help him over this. I assume that you have been acting like a person he can trust since you#039;ve been married.

After assuming all this is true, I#039;d say it is time to tell him that you made a mistake once and it was before you took vows. You confessed. You#039;ve paid. Tell him from here on out his feelings of non-trust are his problem. Don#039;t say it in a mean way, but you#039;ve done all you can to help him feel safe the next step [which is trusting] is up to him, and you can#039;t take that step for him.

When he says he#039;s had a dream about you cheating, tell him you are sorry and go on. When he acts insecure tell him not to take HIS insecurity out on you. Because you are DONE paying for your past, premarriage, infidelity. Tell him to take his bad moods in another room, don#039;t rain on my parade, and to let go of it.

Then continue to be the loving trustworthy wife you are. If he has problems achieving #039;trust,#039; tell him you#039;ll be happy to give him your therapist#039;s number.

Blessings and good luck

WRONG SISTER! WHAT IS IN THE PAST SHOULD STAY IN THE PAST! If this strong woman knows she has made a mistake, then I say she is punishing herself enough. If she were to admit to her man that she cheated on him he would LEAVE HER... This isn#039;t an after school special where everybody forgives everybody else.
Don#039;t tell him if you know what#039;s good for you. If you want to keep him, then keep it in the past... How would you feel if he just up and told you he cheated on you last week, but that it will never happen again??? LIKE CRAP, that#039;s how! so don#039;t tell, him, but DON#039;T CHEAT ANYMORE! AAAAAAAAAAA
TILL NEXT TIME GIRLS

Did you not see the TOPIC for this conversation. quot;MY HUSBAND THINKS I AM CHEATING BUT I#039;M NOTquot;. Yah she never said she cheated on him.

WERE ON THE SAME BOAT BUT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOURS MY RELATIONSHIP HAS GONE DOWN HILL WITH NO TRUST LIKE FLIRTGIRL SAID THERE WAS NEVER TRUST IN THE RELATIONSHIP FROM THE START BEFOR OR AFTER YOUR MARRIAGE THINGS SHOULD'VE BEEN RESOLVED BEFOR GETTING MARRIED BECAUSE LIKE ME I'M AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS .. BECAUSE OF LACK COMMUNICATION, AND NOT TRUSTING EACH OTHER AND IT'S BEEN ABOUT SIX YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE

My husband does the same thing, I cheated on him, but only when we were seeing each other casually. Meaning there was absolutely no committment between us at the time. I told him right away when it happened and we didn't become boyfriend girlfriend for at least a year afterwards. Now that we're married he claims to have dreams, claims that I smell like a type of soap that we don't own, and that I'm not going where I say I'm going. If he needs me to apologize for the one time that it DID happen fine, but marriage is sacred to me, and I plan on it lasting for the rest of my life and he just doesn't get it. Add to that a mother-in-law that constantly tells him that SHE thinks I'm cheating on him because I have friends and I'm clueless on what to do too.