How to talk about past? help!

Okay, well usually I can figure things out on my own, and my policy with my best friends is to just be honest and spit it out, but in this case I'm a little stuck. I switched and grew out of and changed friends a lot in middle/highschool, but now I'm...

with a core group of best friends from my later years. However, they didn't know me during a part of my life that still hits me pretty hard when I talk about it. My dad didn't exactly beat me, but from when I was 7-16 physical discipline was a prominent part of my home. I didn't feel safe in my own house, and to this day I'm still pretty afraid of my own dad. I suffered from depression for a while, and have been to counseling, and now I'm a lot better. However, it feels weird that that part of my life is unknown to the people I am closest to. It's not the type of thing you can say, So, my dad used to smack me around when I was younger, and that's why I don't get along with my parents very well when drinking coffee with your girlfriends. Any tips would be helpful, or do I just leave this as a part of my past and keep my eyes toward the future? Thanks

As much as we all want to forget our troubled pasts, we can't, because irregardless of what we say or do, they still haunt us. Being scared of your own father is a huge sign that you're not completely over this and in a way, it still controls you. I agree with you when you were saying how these kinds of things aren't exactly conversations over dinner. There's a time and place for everything and when the time is right to open up to your new friends, you'll know. If you feel uncompfortable letting your friends in on your past now, then don't force yourself. It's also best to have these conversations one-on-one, instead of in a group, they may begin to over-whelm you and make you feel attacked. Friend's are supposed to be there when you need them most and if you wanna keep a strong friendship with them, sooner or later, you'll have to open up. But like I said, these things can't be rushed. I can understand how you still have some bitter feelings towards your parents, but before you talk to your friends about those feelings, you need to go straight to the source and discuss them with your parents. I know that may seem like murder at the time, but it'll give you some closure, which I'm sure you want. They can't do anything about it now, but at least they'll know how much they've hurt you. Plus, you'll be a lot more compfortable talking to your friends. Anywayz. best of luck, peace.

I have an extensive past of sexual abuse, so I know where you're coming from. You don't want to shock someone but you think they should know right? It is very hard to find the right time to tell someone about your past. I still have some people that I've never told. I think it's up to your own discretion about telling someone. If they are someone you know well then you should be able to sit down and have a serious talk with them. And in my experiences chances are they experienced something similar to you and will also share. It's a great thing to share such intimate details about your past and it'll make your friendship bond even more.